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[quote="joerules"][quote="logosmonkey"]Outside of my unnatural hate for flipflops, I really like today's strip. Especially the establishing shot in panel 1.[/quote]

I'm not a huge sandal/flip flop fan myself, but look around - it's what they wear. :?[/quote]
Oh I know I don't doubt your authenticity. I still hate them though... soooo much.

[quote="logosmonkey"]Outside of my unnatural hate for flipflops, I really like today's strip. Especially the establishing shot in panel 1.[/quote]

I'm not a huge sandal/flip flop fan myself, but look around - it's what they wear. :?

[quote="HeirToPendragon"]Ok so um, I guess it's just been a while since the red head but um...

Why is she mad at him again?[/quote]
He said he'd call. But then he didn't call. And, in the mean time, he's pretty much dated/slept with all of her sorority sisters.

Outside of my unnatural hate for flipflops, I really like today's strip. Especially the establishing shot in panel 1.

Ok so um, I guess it's just been a while since the red head but um...

Why is she mad at him again?

To you saying that there's nothing to distract the reader form the characters I would say, "Nothing but eac other." When i said I didn't want to diminsh Steve I meant it from Janette. The characters needed to be on equal ground. I didn't want one to have more of a presnece than the other.

As for the cuts. I recognize that they might not work but I find them less awkward than the majority I suppose.

I'm greatful for the feedback though. Comments like these always swim around in my head when I'm working on the layout.

[quote="joerules"]Here's how appraoched it.

The strip was written as a 4 panel strip. I wanted to take a step back and view the entire strip as one scene but still hold the integrity of the 4 panel storytelling. This isn't something that's so uncommon in comic storytelling where one image is broken up by panels. [/quote]
I agree it is and I don't have a problem with it at all. In fact I rather like it and it's a technique I love but really haven't had a chance to use in any of my work.

[quote="joerules"]
The 4th panel was written as a hug but I thought it was worth losing the full contact to just have Janette step into Steve's frame. It's not that she's cut off, it's that "that is that panel and in that panel she stepped into steve's frame"

It's my feeling that not seeing their faces in that las moment makes it (somewhow) more intimate [/quote]
I think that 4th panel is inspired. My only issue with it is that it's below the 2nd panel. It hurts the flow for my eyes to see Steve full on and Janette cut off. That panel in particular is so well done, and the feeling it illicits is so palpable that I hate the fact that my eye wonders up to the top panel because it's off balance.

[quote="joerules"]
The panel cut on Janette on the left side of the image is a little awkward but I didn't want to disrupt the concept of what I was trying to do with the storytelling by making Janette taller than she is. My approach was not to make sure everything lined up perfectly it was to take a scene and break it where the comic dictated it be broken. The simple solution - combine panels 1,2, and 3. But i wasn't after the simple solution
[/quote]
Really you could just as well have cut panel one lower, there's no reason the horizontal cut had to line up with that of panels 2 and 4.

You're right though, there's no reason to go with the simple solution. I love that you're experimenting and I really think you've turned out some beautiful work recently so don't feel like I'm trying to pick on you for that.

[quote="joerules"]
The panel breaks are something I'm experimenting with and I decided to do it with Steve in panel 2 because it's important that we see all of him. If he's cropped at all it pushes him back. It diminishes his presence and I needed both of them front and center.

I could have fixed all problems by making them both smaller but I really really wanted a tight intimate portrait of this scene. I'm not 100% convinced it works but I'm proud of the concept.[/quote]

It's true that technique does pop people into the foreground, but the thing of it is.. there's not really anything to distract the reader from the characters. They're not on a crowded street or on top of a busy background, so what are you trying to separate the characters from? I'd argue that a character alone in a panel with very little background raises the level of intimacy higher than popping them out of the borders like that. Especially if the camera is pulled in close on them and there is very little additional negative space.

Look overall I think you're doing wonderful work right now and I think you should continue pushing yourself because we're all benefiting from it; the readers and you as an artist. I'm basically nitpicking theory more than anything so don't feel like I'm attacking you or anything.

Perhaps if you had maintained the panel breaks where you have them, but allow Steve and Janette, to be continuous from frame to frame. I think what bugs me a little is that you have no problem breaking the frame with Janette's hair in panel 1 or Steve's head in panel 2, but you allow the panel breaks to cut these characters up awkwardly between panels 1 & 3 and 2 & 4.

Here's how appraoched it.

The strip was written as a 4 panel strip. I wanted to take a step back and view the entire strip as one scene but still hold the integrity of the 4 panel storytelling. This isn't something that's so uncommon in comic storytelling where one image is broken up by panels.

The 4th panel was written as a hug but I thought it was worth losing the full contact to just have Janette step into Steve's frame. It's not that she's cut off, it's that "that is that panel and in that panel she stepped into steve's frame"

It's my feeling that not seeing their faces in that las moment makes it (somewhow) more intimate

The panel cut on Janette on the left side of the image is a little awkward but I didn't want to dissrupt the concept of what I was trying to do with the storytelling by making Janette taller than she is. My approach was not to make sure everything lined up perfectly it was to take a scene and break it where the comic dictated it be broken. The simple solution - combine panels 1,2, and 3. But i wasn't after the simple solution

The panel breaks are something I'm experimenting with and I decided to do it with Steve in panel 2 because it's important that we see all of him. If he's cropped at all it pushes him back. It deminishes his presnece and I needed both of them front and center.

I could have fixed all problems by making them both smaller but I really really wanted a tight intimate portrait of this scene. I'm not 100% convinced it works but I'm proud of the concept.

I'm not a big fan of the way you laid it out. I like what you're doing, and I think you should absolutely keep at pushing yourself but I don't think it worked this time.

Specifically I'm not a fan of where you cut her head in panel 1. It just feels unnatural and I also don't think it was necessary to break the panel border with her head (on the left).

Panel 2 I think is a fine panel but I still don't see a reason to have broken the panel border.

It's a tool that can have a lot of power, really pulling a character to the front of a page or showing extreme action.. if you over use it, though, it loses it's power. I think you're using it a lot recently and while I think some of it's been used really well (like Rebecca in 270) I feel like it will lose it's power when you look at the strips in a collection. There won't be a 'bam!' factor to it anymore.

Panel 3.. I have no love for this panel. I just can't see a purpose in it. There's no reason to have a panel focused on her lower body other than the fact that you cut her into two panels. It makes the panel cut pointless. Again, the top cut annoys me. I can't fathom a reason to create a panel with this composition if it were not part of the two panel cut. I think it's important that if you're going to cut a single image into multiple panels, each panel could stand on it's own as an image.

Panel 4. I love the composition of this panel. It makes a lot of sense and it has a real feeling of intimacy. It has captured a very pure moment. That's something to be very proud of! The only issue with it is that it's combined with the panel at the top and it makes him look like he's staring into her bloody stump of a neck.


I wrote way more than I intended to. I feel like I might have came off a bit harsh too. Don't take it that way though, I love your work!

For me, having her head cut off kind of helped sell the 'movement' of the strip. When I initially looked at it, I saw the strip as one big frame, then focused on the whole right side when reading the last panel. I think if Janette was complete in the last panel (or overlapped into the 2nd panel), it wouldn't sell the initial 'one big frame' view as well as it does now.

I have to agree that I really like the way you're pushing the boundaries (no pun intended) of the strip layout. I haven't quite decided if the final panel, where Jannette's head is cut off, is brilliant or didn't quite work.

Phil, the conversation in this week's strip was incredibly natural for me to read. The dialog isn't forced at all, and you've seemingly managed to keep them as friends after all. Great stuff.

Joe, I love the layout of this strip. I like how you're experimenting with the panels lately, and this one really works well with the dialog. The way Steve is looking down, but then at her in the last panel, is brilliantly done.

Joe and Phil, last panel = awesome!

So he's upset that she kissed Al?

I wouldn't say this is boring. It's clearly set up for something that's coming later on down the line. It's set to explain why Steve has been acting a bit weird for the past few weeks.

Is it Sorkin-esque? I guess. But I don't think it's as tired as the angst we saw in Studio 60.