The Right Way Wrong

[logosmonkey]

<Shameless Plug>

I just finished lettering the first 9 pages. You can read'em over here. Let me know what you think.

</Shameless Plug>

[logosmonkey]

Ok, so a final version of pages 1-12 are posted. I really need some feedback on this. I've spent so much time with this stuff that I can't look at it objectively anymore. Does the dialog flow alright? Any phrases that read clunky? Is it engaging at all?

The pages are here

[trevor]

Dude, that artwork is SWEET!

[logosmonkey]

Yeah, Anna is absolutely amazing. The page I think is the most beautiful is actually later in the comic, I'll post a link to it when I get home tonight. There's a point where the main character walks outside while the sun is setting... it's sooo freaking beautiful.

[gerbo321]

I really liked the whole thing, and agreed the art is incredible. I thought the first 5-6 pages were paced a little slowly but it seems to be picking up nicely from there. But I always complain about pacing, so I don't know if you should take anything from that.

I didn't notice any dialog that seemed clunky. I would have changed a couple of lines here and there. Like dropping the word 'me' on page 1, caption 5. Little stuff like that.

There is a typo I noticed on the last page. Last panel, caption: 'ver little' I'm assuming should be very little.

Other than that, good stuff man. Tell me when there is more to read.