Matriculated: Dude Just Call Her (new storyline)

[joerules]

It's what it is in the strip. My sloppy typing is a whole other story line.

[logosmonkey]

So while overall this weeks strip was great and I like where you're taking Steve (talking about the character here, not myself in third person) It feels like I missed a strip.. I think going back and looking at last weeks I can see 'Oh OK he was running out of the house at the end.' but for some reason I initially saw it as him running upstairs or deeper into the house so it was weird to see this weeks strip start in the guys room.

[chamber715]

So while overall this weeks strip was great and I like where you're taking Steve (talking about the character here, not myself in third person) It feels like I missed a strip.. I think going back and looking at last weeks I can see 'Oh OK he was running out of the house at the end.' but for some reason I initially saw it as him running upstairs or deeper into the house so it was weird to see this weeks strip start in the guys room.

Yeah, sometimes I think I have a problem transitioning. Like transitioning from one story arc to another. I have the ending in my head so I know which strip ends an arc, but that's not necessarily true for someone reading the strip who isn't me.

[GameUJosh]

In regards to the "someone reading who isn't me" thing, I've run into that a lot when writing screenplays. I'll get through a whole script before realizing that I haven't once said the character's name out loud. Sure, it's in the script over and over, but no other character actually says it. It's definitely a worrisome problem.

Also, I love the line "I am Steve." Just kills me.

[mailer daemon]

This just jumped out at me, so I thought I'd mention it. It really seems like the artistic quality of Janette's hair in today's comic is a huge step up from normal. Heck, even as I type this, I'm looking at it and the coloring in general seems sharper and more defined to me.

[joerules]

Thanks md. Yeah - I'm not messing arouind anymore with the coloring. It takes me an estra 45 minutes to an hour to finish but I'm really trying to push in a new direction. Take it to a differnt place. I'm happy with the progress but there's some mroe room to grow.

[Tom Brazelton]

I seriously wish I understood, like, a tenth of your coloring technique, Joe.

It would make my own work so much better.

[opie301]

I kinda wish there was a separate pin-up/wallpaper of Janette from that first panel. Janette looks great, and the artwork is wonderful.

[afr0puff]

Yay... it's turning just as boring as an Aron Sorkin project.

[opie301]

So he's upset that she kissed Al?

I wouldn't say this is boring. It's clearly set up for something that's coming later on down the line. It's set to explain why Steve has been acting a bit weird for the past few weeks.

Is it Sorkin-esque? I guess. But I don't think it's as tired as the angst we saw in Studio 60.

[trevor]

Joe and Phil, last panel = awesome!

[ed2003wrx]

Phil, the conversation in this week's strip was incredibly natural for me to read. The dialog isn't forced at all, and you've seemingly managed to keep them as friends after all. Great stuff.

Joe, I love the layout of this strip. I like how you're experimenting with the panels lately, and this one really works well with the dialog. The way Steve is looking down, but then at her in the last panel, is brilliantly done.

[opie301]

I have to agree that I really like the way you're pushing the boundaries (no pun intended) of the strip layout. I haven't quite decided if the final panel, where Jannette's head is cut off, is brilliant or didn't quite work.

[ed2003wrx]

For me, having her head cut off kind of helped sell the 'movement' of the strip. When I initially looked at it, I saw the strip as one big frame, then focused on the whole right side when reading the last panel. I think if Janette was complete in the last panel (or overlapped into the 2nd panel), it wouldn't sell the initial 'one big frame' view as well as it does now.

[logosmonkey]

I'm not a big fan of the way you laid it out. I like what you're doing, and I think you should absolutely keep at pushing yourself but I don't think it worked this time.

Specifically I'm not a fan of where you cut her head in panel 1. It just feels unnatural and I also don't think it was necessary to break the panel border with her head (on the left).

Panel 2 I think is a fine panel but I still don't see a reason to have broken the panel border.

It's a tool that can have a lot of power, really pulling a character to the front of a page or showing extreme action.. if you over use it, though, it loses it's power. I think you're using it a lot recently and while I think some of it's been used really well (like Rebecca in 270) I feel like it will lose it's power when you look at the strips in a collection. There won't be a 'bam!' factor to it anymore.

Panel 3.. I have no love for this panel. I just can't see a purpose in it. There's no reason to have a panel focused on her lower body other than the fact that you cut her into two panels. It makes the panel cut pointless. Again, the top cut annoys me. I can't fathom a reason to create a panel with this composition if it were not part of the two panel cut. I think it's important that if you're going to cut a single image into multiple panels, each panel could stand on it's own as an image.

Panel 4. I love the composition of this panel. It makes a lot of sense and it has a real feeling of intimacy. It has captured a very pure moment. That's something to be very proud of! The only issue with it is that it's combined with the panel at the top and it makes him look like he's staring into her bloody stump of a neck.


I wrote way more than I intended to. I feel like I might have came off a bit harsh too. Don't take it that way though, I love your work!