Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
It's true. I love them. I LOVE crappy movies. All kinds. Horror movies that aren't scary at all. Big budget action crapfests that will make millions of dollars based on how cool some car exploding in the trailer looks. Any movie starring Rob Schneider. I love it. I eat it up. I can't get enough.
For the past year or so I've casually reviewed movies on my message board talking about the good and the bad, and rating them in two categories: a scale of 1-10 judging how great the movie actually is, and whether or not the movie is DVD worthy. I love crappy DVD's too so it comes into play.
So is this a web comic or a review column? Both I hope. I'm not qualified to review movies. I'm no professional, I'm just a fan, so take that with a grain of salt. But I have been doing web comics for almost two years and I thought the marriage of review with a good looking corny joke would be one that a lot of people could enjoy. I hope you do too.
As for when this will update. There will be a new one pretty much every time I see a movie. So you can expect 4-6 per month. But nothing is set in stone. If I'm broke that week, I'm not going to skip lunch so I can see Martin Lawrence teach a bunch of kids how to play basketball. But you can expect frequent updates. Keep your eye on the main Digital Pimp site for updates.
What I hope this strip will provide is a glimpse into the crap that might actually be worth going to see. Or at least worth sneaking into after watching a good movie. I won't offer spoilers and I won't lie. If the movie sucks, I'll say so. But I want to make it crystal clear that I'm not biased. Yes, Ashton makes a lot of bad movies, but I will neither love or hate a movie based on him being in it. I won't avoid it because of him or anyone. You never know, right?
And just to warn you, I won't be reviewing just the crappy movies. The good ones too. I see a lot of garbage but I go see the Oscar winners too. Everything is fair game.
So that's it. Nothing special just a peek into my head, and a few extra comics a month form your favorite pimp site. So what's coming up you're wondering... Well I've been stock piling since February so you can look forward to - Sideways, Constantine, Man of the House, On-Bak the Tai Warrior, Cursed, Robots, Be cool, and The Pacifier but also new releases like Sin City which is going up tomorrow, and an early review of Fever Pitch this coming Thursday.
I realize how important it is to stay current with this so when I can you'll get the comic and review before the film actually comes out. Besides Fever Pitch you'll get early reviews on Kung-Fu Hustle and The Longest Yard in the next couple of weeks. So stay tuned. It should be fun.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V