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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

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Brokeback Mountain

Released: 12/16/05

Viewed: 1:40pm 01/29/06

Starring: Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway, Randy Quaid, Anna Faris, Linda Cardellini

Directed by: Ang Lee

Universal Official Site of the movie

Yeo and I had been putting off Brokeback Mountain for a while. I see a lot of the crappy movies by myself, but there are always a few she demands I wait to see with her, and then scheduling often becomes a huge issue. But Brokeback I had to wait on. By the time we had got around to seeing it last weekend, it had been out for over a month and a half and the hype machine was cranked up to 11.

Like it or not everyone is going to have expectations of this film. If not because of the buzz, than because of the controversial subject matter, or the director. (Seriously - Ang Lee!? The guy goes from the Incredible Hulk to gay cowboys? That's awesome!) If none of that is enough then you have the nominations accolades and awards it's already won. This movie is a critical darling.

So my expectations were that it would be good but not quite live up to the hype, which sucks. Before viewing I kept feeling like we should have seen it before it was "the movie to see". But I was determined not to let that get in the way. I gave myself to the movie, tried to forget the obvious, tried not to wait for Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal to fall in love.

It may actually be better that I saw it coming. It's not the sort of thing I would have normally expected, and a shock like that can certainly take you out of the moment. Especially the way it's done in Brokeback. And it's weird. If it were a guy and a girl it would so obviously be two people falling in love. It would feel natural. But because it's two cowboys in 1963 Wyoming it somehow feels less obvious. Not wrong, just unexpected. So a big part of me is glad I had some of those expectations.

The movie is fantastic and met my expectations. It's a big, and complex on a few different levels but at no time is it boring, at no time does it slow down. It's constantly introducing new questions and new problems for the characters to confront and overcome. Or crumble beneath as it were. It's been a long time since I found a love story this interesting in so many differing ways. Cutesy fluff it is certainly not.

The acting all around is magnificent. Every nomination is well earned, and each actor is given his or her chance to shine. But the plum role in my eye is the one played by Michelle Williams. Oh my god - she finds out, almost right away, and she buries it. Watching her go through knowing the big secret and suppressing something that so obviously was destroying her inside was captivating. For me that was the most interesting conflict of the movie. And there are tons of conflicts to choose from, but this one worked so well in so many different ways. What do you do when you've built a life with someone and you find out one little thing that changes it all? You could see that question circling behind her eyes through the entire film and it was dazzling.

All the conflicts raise a million questions like that one, and each character brings a new set of questions to the film. Ledger suffers silently as he doesn't know if he should take the plunge or be true to the life he's already established. Makes you wonder if he's confused about his life, or if he possibly has questions or even shame over his sexuality. I saw him as a character with a lot of questions to answer but no will to confront them.

Gyllenhaal shows the other end of the spectrum as someone willing to commit, but also willing to wait and pretend while he waits. I've been waiting for Jake to come out with a role that will define him as a real talent and Brokeback not only shows his skills, but has also been embraced with success. He's finally on his way, because this is a movie that will be with him forever. This movie will be mentioned in his obituary.

Of course people will always be asking him if he can "quit" things yet? And I think it's tremendously entertaining to alter the phrase "Are you the butch or the bitch?" to "Are you the butch or the Gyllenhaal?" But don't tell Jake I said that.

Cool supporting cast including Randy Quaid, Anna Faris, Linda Cardellini. Faris is great as the fast talking southerner. I'm just entranced by her because she does some seriously crappy movies (Scary movie The Hot Chick Just Friends) and then will pop up in movies like Brokeback Mountain or Lost in Translation. I'm telling you, she's the Kelly Clarkson of the acting world. She found success on a crappy franchise, and is really making the most of it as she steals every scene in every movie she's in.

Brokeback Mountain is the type of movie I feel like I could go on and on about. Tons of interesting questions and ideas to speculate that are questions a lot of people face all the time. Brokeback is not only an intense character study, but also an intensely entertaining experience. You might not get what you expect, but? well, if you did got what you expected every time, than going to the movies would be pretty damn boring.

8 out of 10 which is a fairly high score but not the highest I've ever given. This could technically be the best film of the year, I mean ? I could be talked into believing that, but there were half a dozen that were just more entertaining in my opinion. Not to say Brokeback isn't entertaining, just in a different way. I mean I cheered when Kaylee and the Doctor kissed in Serenity but didn't cheer when Jake and Heath got crazy on the stairway behind the laundromat. Just different movies.

DVD worthy?: It's a powerful movie, but powerful movies aren't ones you casually watch on a regular basis. A movie like this is meant to be watched and reflected upon, but if anything, watching it too often would only take away some of the impact. It's wonderful but I'll happily wait until it's on TV.

If you liked this movie check out: ???

I couldn't say. I mean it's got very classic themes that have been used in thousands of films but I can't pinpoint a solid recommendation. Love is universal, of course, so I've been trying to think of a film that dealt with love triangles (rather love "squares"), forbidden love, time, heartbreak, family, life and what's really important in it. I can come up with a few, but none that come close to carrying the same weight as Brokeback. And if they do they often carry it in a different way, using humor or tragedy to move the story along. The movies are still good, but when things like comical misunderstandings warp the story, it can take the true meaning out of the situation.

I'm open to suggestions though. What are your favorite love stories, and why?

Trailer Hitch: Thank You for Smoking

Thank You for Smoking is the best trailer for any movie out there right now. It's smart, sharp, and fun, saying just enough to let you know they're saying serious things, but not saying them too seriously. The cast looks brilliant even though I'm not a huge fan of its lead Aaron Ekhart. I still feel burned by The Core. Still, the trailer is brilliant enough for me to put our troubled past behind me.

Thank You for Smoking looks like it could be the bright satire for anti-smoking that I Heart Huckabee's was supposed to be for mental health. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the movie will live up to the trailer, but right now Smoking is my number 1 anticipated film of 2006.

Sometimes I'll bounce ideas off of Yeo to see what works and what doesn't. Sometimes I'll ask her witch ways the joke would work better, or even what ideas she thinks would work well. A second perspective is always helpful when troubleshooting ideas. When you vote today you'll get Yeo telling us how her version of things would have gone.

But that's not the end of the voting excitement! I've decided to do another month long incentive event in the spirit of last September's Secret Tales of Super Hero Virginity but this time you'll get daily incentives of me losing an eye. Let me explain.

Earlier this month in the comic for Bloodrayne I flashed forward 5 years into the future revealing an eye patch! Some folks asked the question "How did Joe lose his eye?" Well there is a real way, which I'll reveal at the end of the month, but until then I'm determined to have fun exploring the possibilities. Like reason number 1 from yesterday: Running with Scissors!

Be sure to vote every weekday to see a brand new incentive. The only days it won't be about losing an eye are on days when an actual comic comes out, like today because of the Brokeback review. But in the spirit of starting things off on the right foot you can go hear to see reason number 2. I Lost it for Love. Should be a fun event, I hope you guys approve!

Non movie related stuff:

This is the 100th strip. For the last couple of weeks I've been toying with different ideas on how to handle the big mark. Should I do a fake review, a DVD review, a list of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. Something like that. But as the numbers steadily got closer to triple digits I couldn't figure out anything special enough. Nothing I could get excited about.

Brokeback Mountain just so happen to be next on the list, and in a weird way it seems fitting. It's winning awards, and getting all the right nominations for Oscar. It may be the best movie of 2005. It wasn't my favorite of the year, but it was definitely something special, something very deserving.

So having Brokeback as the 100th comic is actually pretty cool since it will go down in cinematic history anyway. Perhaps my 200th comic will win the best picture awards for 2006. Do you think I can get done another 100 comics before Superman V comes out?

I'm trying something new over at the download site Ipod preview site at Clickwheel.

. When setting up Brokeback Mountain I hit a snag because it was just one big image. I ended up separating it into chunks, which gave me the idea to give it a proper intro. Take a look and let me know what you think. Does it work better with or without the title page?

Lastly I wanted to say thanks again to our very first sponsor Twisted Kaiju Theater Please run over and check them out. It's a great strip, and I'm thrilled they wanted to advertise at Digital Pimp. Let them though they didn't waste their money. And if anyone else is interested in ad space at Digital Pimp just contact me for the details. Thanks for reading everyone!

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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Joe Dunn
@joedunn721
HOBBS AND SHAW, great. But when are we getting LOCKE AND LOEB? @TheRock @VancityReynolds @robdelaney
18 Aug 2019