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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

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V for Vendetta

Released: 03/17/06

Viewed: 7:00pm 03/01806

Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea

Directed by: James McTeigue

Warner Brothers Official Site of the movie

In the not to distant future a government will rise to power. They will segregate and separate the races, religions, and believers in the name of peace. And it will work for a while until one mistake rises up and bites them in the ass reminding them that their theories were never right. I'm willing to bet though that it won't be a guy wearing a mask and throwing knives. Who's got time to be so dramatic?

V for Vendetta is the story of one mans mission to exact revenge on a government that wronged him, and make a statement against them loud enough for the world to hear. Are these the noble thoughts of a hero, or the big dreams of a fool? Or is that the same thing? Either way it's presented with a lot of skill and power. The emotion and true meaning of the story shine brightly even amoung flashy action and ultra cool visuals.

This is a big movie for first time director James McTeigue . McTeigue got his legs doing cinematography on the Matrix films and that's not a bad place to learn your craft. Every movie should take place in the Matrix! Imagine if Kramer vs. Kramer ended with a knife fight. Winner takes all! Or if Murrow Tae Kwon Do'd McCarthey's ass in Good Night and Good Luck. How awesome would that have been?

Ok I'm obviously kidding but the skills McTeigue picked up under the brothers Wachowski are good ones to apply to V for Vendetta. The scenery and characters, like the matrix, are dark, slick, and modern, and it's unbelievably important that the action in a movie like this looks good. He can do that, and he did it here. It looked great and paced along smoothly.

I'm actually surprised how much they held back on the action. In the comic book that V is based on there's virtually no visual action. There's more ass kicking in a 4 page back up story then there is in the complete proper story that the film is taken from. So to see any was certainly a welcomed treat. But there naturally is a problem.

V is crazy. Seriously crazy but he's not a heartless butcher. He doesn't slaughter people for no reason at all. Even if they're bad dudes he'll more often beat them down and leave them be. The final showdown has V going on a mad slashing rampage as he makes his way towards his primary target shucking and slicing his way through the lackeys.

It's gratuitous, excessive, and 100% out of character. That said it was totally kick ass. I don't agree with its inclusion but it was some serious high-five worthy action packed excitement. The darker side of me wishes there was more, but in the end it's still a bad fit. In my opinion it changes who that character is. Still cool as hell though.

Even though she's not the title character this is Natalie Portman's movie. Her trip from weak willed child to thick-skinned torture proof adult is as strong as the work she did in Leon so many years ago. Child actors are tough. Is it more impressive that they're good, or that they're young and good? People seem to think they'll get old and not be good anymore. Well Star Wars be dammed, she's still talented.

The accent? It's fine people, stop complaining. Everyone is so quick to jump at accents and say they're horrible. If you hadn't heard her speak with an American accent a million times before, you wouldn't have noticed at all. It didn't bother me. Although I was distracted by her huge nipples. The Shadow Gallery gets cold at night!

Hugo Weaving is brilliant as V. Remember this time last year when everyone was talking about the Fantastic Four movie and how the Thing's mask was too bulky? How it wouldn't be able to show depth or emotion therefore would not work effectively on screen? At least his eyebrows moved. Weaving was handed a sheet of plastic and a prince valiant wig and told to bring the most theatrical comic book avenger to life on screen. It would be one thing if V were the sort of role where he could be the silent stalker of the night. But he sings, he dances, he voraciously verbalizes verbatim a very vexing monologue of Vs. That's hard to do, especially behind the frozen smile of a pale Guy Fawkes.

It was truly an impressive performance. It's weird because I'll always think of him as Agent Smith. I didn't expect this to be much of a departure from that but Weaving has a lot more to offer than a menacing scowl and willingness for wirework.

As much as I enjoyed the movie I do have a few problems. Let me say first that I recently read through the graphic novel, which the movie is based on, so the original content is still very clear in my mind. Adaptations are hard. As written, few things can be translated to the screen with perfection. Liberties must be taken to make the flow consistent and to help wrap things up. I get that, and I support it. Omitting half a dozen characters who had very little to do with the ultimate outcome was a good move. Few people will miss them.

Where I have a problem is when they start messing with the major elements of the story or start taking out some of the more memorable moments. There were three moments specifically that I sorely missed. Three moments that may not have been important in the long run but spoke a lot towards who V really is.

I can't go too deep into the specifics without getting into spoilers but there will be a second comic at the end of this week where I talk about the man behind the mask and how it was translated to screen. It will be spoiler heavy, believe it, and I'll have a lot more to say about the story and it's political implications. I want to see the movie again though. I need a deeper look.

Otherwise it was a pretty tight and respectful translation. Even with a few major adjustments the spirit of the story and the characters within was very much intact. It would have been so easy for them to punk out on telling the story of society rising up against an unjust government in a time like this. Their bravery to be true to those ideas originally conceived in the Thatcher era United Kingdom 25 years ago is the most important thing. Rating: 8 out of 10

Such an amazing story told with a lot of passion and a lot of flash. It's by no means perfect but still very entertaining and poignant. I feel a little disappointment in some of the choices made towards the end but they are minor, still I'll take a point for it. And even though it goes against my better judgment I could have used a couple more action sequences. No stabby stabby stuff, but some more kicking and punching would have been delightful.

It may not meet your expectations of the original comic, but it's hands down the best adaptation of Alan Moore's work. Moore is arguably the best comic book writer of all time so the fact that none of his adapted works have hit the mark is frustrating. He's had a hard time these past few years as production on From Hell, Constantine, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has led him to a level of bitterness where he wants nothing to do with Hollywood. He's even gone as far as to request his name be removed from the comics. The story behind that is far more complicated than a non British Constantine or the last minute addition of Tom Sawyer to the League, but it's still a very real separation.

As a fan, to see one of his stories told with respect is very satisfying. Of course I do own Constantine and LXG. I love the crap! Seriously, it's not this years Sin City as I was hoping it would be, but it's light years away from being this years Elektra. Chalk this up as a win for the comic nerds.

DVD worthy?: Yeah. Even though it the sort of movie you can't put on casually it's still the sort of movie I'd want to watch a couple times of year at the drop of a hat.

If you liked this movie check out: V for Vendetta

There are tons of movies that are similar to V for Vendetta in story and concept. It's Equilibrium mixed with a little Batman all done up Matrix style, but I'm not about to recommend you watch half a dozen other movies when just rewatching V for Vendetta would be a more rewarding experience all around. It was awesome! Go see it again.

Trailer Hitch: Superman V

I saw it in IMAX and this was the only trailer they showed. I've talked about Superman V before. Just to summarize, I'm excited about it but I'm really hoping they don't go too in depth into the origin story. It's just been told so many times before and I realize they'll have to retell it for the new audience but they can't dwell on it. The origin tale in Superman one is long. Long enough to last 20 years if you asked me, so if they keep it to 10 minutes I'll be a happy camper.

I did hear a rumor this week that young Pa Kent would be played by Hugh Jackmen which is just ridiculously cool. If it's true then I'll take 15 minutes of the origin story but no more!

Vote Bonus:

The Web Comics List has been down over the weekend. Not really sure what's going on with that. I have a vote incentive done for V and will upload it as soon as I see Top Web is back up. If it doesn't get back soon I'll double up later in the week or like jump over to one of the other lists or like just post it here. I don't know. We'll play it by ear. Try and vote anyway if you can.

Thanks for reading, everyone.

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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