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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Nacho Libre

Released: 06/16/06

Viewed: 4:50pm 06/23/06

Starring: Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez, Darius Rose

Directed by: Jared Hess

Paramount Pictures Official Site of the movie

Mexican wrestling is an untapped goldmine. Why isn’t there more of it? I first saw the posters for Nacho Libre at a comic con in New York this past winter. I was walking around with Clay and we saw Jack Black in full spandex and afro from afar and instantly had the same reaction. First, that it was awesome, and second, that it was odd that masked wrestlers weren’t a regular fixture in modern cinema. It’s a perfect formula. All the drama and showmanship of the Americanized professional wrestling world, but with a looming unspoken danger and masks. No one wears masks anymore let alone masks with sequins and glitter. More. We need more.

Nacho Libre tells the story of Ignatius (Jack Black), a holy man who secretly dreams of the glamorous world of wrestling. He yearns for the adventure of the ring as well as the respect and admiration that come with the Luchadore’s lifestyle. After the orphanage he cooks for runs out of money for food, Ignatius persuades a friend to join him in the ring and help collect the prize money. Thus this masked wrestler for God’s children is born. Long live Nacho Libre!

Conflict exists throughout, as Nacho’s faith seems to get in the way of everything he desires. Violence of any kind is a big no no, but Nacho justifies his secret activity as necessity for a better purpose. He is fighting for the children. That I’m ok with but there’s no way his attraction to the nun was going to slide by without at least a little bit of awkwardness. Ana de la Reguera is absolutely stunning but… she’s a nun! Try to rein it in, Nacho.

Actually their “love” story, as uncomfortable as it is on paper, is told with a real tenderness. Both characters are sweet and innocent and shy, which keeps things from getting crude. The film musters up the perfect sentiment for a family crowd without taking things too far. It’s still a little creepy though.

The whole thing is family friendly, actually it’s a lot closer to what the early buzz feared. It’s a kid’s movie. I’d been reading for a couple of weeks how concerned people were about it being a movie targeted to kids. I can understand that. There’s certainly a lot of potential for extreme violence and killer action in a movie about masked wrestlers, and as soon as a PG rating and a mushy emotional storyline enter the picture, things change. You know what though, you can get by. As long as the action holds up.

It does, but I could have used more. What’s there is well shot, quick, and a lot of fun as a crazy cast of characters unleash hell on each other. But it’s far too brief with the bookend battles being the two standouts. It’s great though. Jack’s flying around all over the place with his stomach bouncing back and forth battling to burst out of his tight bright uniform, and he’s just acting like a complete maniac. The guy brings a lot of energy to whatever he does. You’ve gotta respect that.

The story is the opposite of the action. Too much and not fun enough. It’s a pretty basic set-up and, to be honest, if they went too far down the different avenues it would have gotten unnecessarily messy and complicated. Love for wrestling and love for the children drives the movie along and for a movie like this, that’s all you really need.

What saved the movie for me was the performances. It took me a while to warm up to Black’s in and out Mexican accent but after about 15 minutes of it, everything that came out of his mouth was pure comedy perfection. And it’s not even that anything being said is especially funny. It’s almost purely the way the lines are being delivered. I can’t otherwise explain how a line like “Fantastic!” or “Don’t touch my blouse.” can get the biggest laughs out of the audience, but they do. The delivery was just completely spot on and unique in the weirdest way and that may sound like nothing, but to me it really held things together. It really kept me interested. And it confused the hell out of me because I was laughing all the way home at the most ridiculous things.

So will you enjoy Nacho Libre? Hard to say. Pacing is good (though I think 5 minutes could have been trimmed here and there) and the action is fun but it’s going to come down to how much you can enjoy the crazy characters of Nacho and and Esqueleto ( Hector Jimenez). If you’re not a Jack Black fan, it’s probably best to avoid Nacho Libre. Even though this character does stand apart from what Black has done in the past, little Jack-isms manage to wiggle their way in. I’m not complaining, I love the D, but I can see how some people would be bothered.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

A nice surprise. I half expected this family film to be watered down kiddie crap that would be the most deadly combination of stupid and boring. …Ok, it’s kind of stupid, but the laughs are there. Hopefully one day someone will make a totally bloody Mexican wrestling movie so we can have the other end of the spectrum. Until then, I’ll happily giggle at the great Nacho.

DVD Worthy?:

Yeah, maybe. Took a little time to get off the ground but a couple of those wrestling matches were really cool, and the character work from Black and Jimenez is amazingly funny and unique. This movie is highly quotable and that raises the rewatchability level.

Trailer Hitch: Barnyard

The movie parked right up front is another from Nickelodeon and Paramount called Barnyard. Barnyard is an animated film about the social world of the Barnyard animals when humans aren’t looking. You know like Chicken Run or Home on the Range.

I’ve got no problem with that really, what I do have a problem with is that the main characters featured are cows and the leader of the pack is voiced by Kevin James. Seems like basic math but a male cow isn’t a cow. It’s a bull. But this animated abomination jumps around on screen with utter front and center. I just hope they take 45 seconds to address that.

The talent is good though. Kevin James (who apparently decided to take the great momentum of last years hit Hitch and just do a bunch of voice work) and director/writer Steve Odenkirk who is completely underrated. That guy has great instincts and I think they’ll play up great to the kiddies while still keeping the adults entertained.

If You liked this movie check out: Napoleon Dynamite

The reasons I thought Nacho was good at all are the same reasons that endeared Napoleon Dynamite to the masses last year. The quirky individuality and innocence of the characters and their worlds is so different and endearing. Instantly recognizable to itself and still funny as hell. Napoleon hit big. Part of me thinks it was half quality movie and half that it was a small-unknown treasure that people could latch on to with all their hearts. Part of the appeal was that it wasn’t so accessible or in your face like Austin Powers or Ace Ventura at their peak.

Nacho is definitely on a grander scale but I’m not sure that will hurt it. Great character and odd comedy hold it together pretty well. Napoleon is certainly more quotable but I think Black screaming, “I don’t want no corn!” in a busted Mexican accent is light-years funnier than any “Gosh!” Heder has to offer.

Vote incentive:

Vote and see me jumping through the air! Also if you could vote at Top Web Comics as well I’d be very grateful.

That’s it for today. Take it easy.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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