Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
The Lake House
Viewed: 5:50pm 06/17/06
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Christopher Plummer
Directed by: Alejandro Agresti
Warner Brothers Official Site of the movie
In The Lake House two strangers connect across time through a common residence, but the magical connection is never clearly defined. I can’t decide if that’s brave filmmaking or a rookie mistake. The geek in me demands detailed scientific explanations but every other part is willing to let potential plot holes and dead ends fade out behind a beautiful love story.
Sandra Bullock lives in the year 2006. Keanu Reeves lives in 2004. Somehow the two are able to communicate through the mailbox of the house she just moved out of (in 2006) and he just moved into (in 2004). It’s a magical house, or at the very least a magical mailbox, which is nothing to squawk at. Neither star seems to get any junk mail.
We’re meant to wonder what truly connects them, and meant to assume it’s this beautiful house alone. But as the movie progresses and as the two continue to communicate across time, new possibilities arise. Do the two know each other? Would they have met in the first place if it were not for these magical letters? What sort of paradoxes are we creating just talking about this?
Time passes (in both times) and the two come to love each other and eventually want to be together. It may sound easy – just have 2004 Keanu wait 2 years and go to Sandra’s apartment in 2006. But it would be a boring movie if everything worked out.
“Something must have gone wrong.” Sandra reads from Keanu’s 2004 letter. So he attempts to find her. With insight to the future Keanu is able to influence and alter it. More potential paradoxes. But really, that’s the best part of the story. Cause and effect. Seeing how one adjustment changes the outcome. It’s a brilliant plot device that becomes so much more poignant when it’s about love.
Logically I’m a wreck over this film. There are so many unanswered questions that aren’t so much without answer as they are simply undefined. Why did neither of these people consult a psychiatrist. when mystery letters started magically appearing before them? Well, they had both reached rock bottom and were willing to open themselves up to the unexplainable as an escape form reality. Is that the real answer to the question? I don’t know, the movie never says so for sure. But there are dozens of situations like this where the audience is able to decide for themselves and either accept the choices or dismiss them. It’s dangerous, but I think it’s a good move.
A story like this will have people thinking about the movie long after it’s ended. It will evoke theories and discussion going far beyond what the movie only hinted at. I personally woke the morning after and couldn’t get it out of my mind. Yeo admitted the same thing later in the day and we ended up chatting about the possibilities on our long drive home from her parent’s house. I was actually so distracted by the conversation that I missed my exit and ended up driving through the heart of Washington D.C. It’s quite a city!
If you are willing to accept an uncertain science then the movie is quite astounding and that’s high praise considering the story itself is painfully apparent. Without getting into spoilers, the big ending is right in front of you. The real pleasure is the pieces used to get you there.
Sandra and Keanu are both very good and have great chemistry, but are rarely on screen together. There had been a lot of big hype about the stars of Speed finally reuniting after all this time. Loved Speed. Loved The Lake House. Love the duo. Now let’s hope for more. Would it really have been so hard for him to have done Speed 2? I couldn’t even watch that on TV it was so bad.
At its core The Lake House is a true love story. These two people have met and fallen hard for each other but calling the situation “complicated” is an understatement. At one point Sandra refers to it as a “long distance relationship” and everyone in the theater either giggled with delight or rolled their eyes with a bitter sarcasm. Bad puns aside, The Lake House is a smart and charming movie about waiting for what you love. We could all use a little patience.
Rating: 8 out of 10
There are a lot of things to pick apart in The Lake House but as a rare treat that turns out to be a good thing. They give you just enough to make you ask the right questions and decided for yourself. It’s a movie that will leave you with questions but you’ll have a lot of fun trying to answer them.
Eh, I’m on the fence. I know Yeo would say “No. It’ll be better on TV.” That’s her thing. She loves to watch movies when they come on TV. Even if we own them. I’ve explained to her that she can watch Daddy Day Care any time she wants but she refuses. Just let it come on TV.
So she would say no and my better instincts are telling me to agree with her. If we were just sitting around flipping through channels and stumbled upon The Lake House on Lifetime, we would absolutely freak out. I know. It happens every couple of months when Serendipity or You’ve Got Mail comes on. But it’s the sort of story I’d like to examine further for clues. Maybe it’s not that kind of movie though. We’ll let Lifetime decide.
Trailer Hitch: The Holiday
Oh wow The Holiday
looks like a complete train wreck of emotion that will have every woman in America over 50 flocking to theaters in a haze of estrogen and confusion. God, my vagina hurts just thinking about it.
The trailer is about two women, Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, who become frustrated with their lives and decided to spend their vacations in each other’s shoes. A new place, a new perspective, a complete tear jerking disaster. Even though the ladies attempt to avoid men they get wooed by; Jude Law (sure) and Jack Black (Uh-WHAA!?). Come on, Jack Black with Kate Winslet? Even Irv is out of Jack Black’s league. It’s a completely new role for him though and I’m curious to see if he can pull it off. I’m not sure it’ll be worth sitting through to find out though.
If You liked this movie check out: Frequency
is awesome. So awesome in fact that it made my list of top 10 sci-fi films
from earlier this month. It’s a simple story of family told with a little help from science and fantasy. It’s fast, clever, and as heartwarming as it is action packed. Something for everyone. It parallels The Lake House with communication. In both movies two people connect, communicate, and bond from two different periods in time. Frequency makes a stronger attempt to explain how the connection works but similar holes exist and there’s a certain leap of faith needed from the audience to accept that it’s happening.
Lake House and Frequency both use sci-fi as a launch pad but force it to the background with real stories about people. The people involved in the connection are more important than how the connection came about, and I think most audiences get that.
Today’s vote incentive is… well… Where’s the worst place someone could go with today’s comic. I went there. Sorry. If you forgive me please vote at Top Web Comics even though there’s no new incentive. That list is tough to crack, that’s for sure.
Non Movie Related News
Just wanted to show you guys this. I’m still freaked out by how fast Youtube has grown, but when taekwondogirl made a hand puppet of me singing a Who song… I had to check it out. She actually put this up a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to take a moment to say how cool she is for doing it and to officially say - Thanks for making me into a Fandango character. You rule.
Thanks for reading. I’m seeing Superman Returns late tomorrow so the review will go up either really late, or very early the next morning. Until then – make puppets.
Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V