Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
No review today, just a small break in the schedule to shed some light on one of my all time favorite shows that is in trouble.
There is no good way for me to make you want to watch Veronica Mars. I could say that Kristen Bell is smoking hot, but hot ladies are hardly difficult to find these days on the TV set. I could tell you that the writing is smart, and that the long term mysteries are as compelling as the short term ones from episode to episode. But most of us are still too busy scratching our heads over the giant foot in LOST to take on any new unexplained phenomenon. I could tell you that the themes of love, family, and friendship are all touched on with grace and respect but aren’t forced down your throat like a sappy Liftime movie. But you still watch 7th Heaven and you eat that crap up, don’t you? Don’t you!? I could tell you that watching the show will give you super powers but it doesn’t. Unless knowing what’s happening week to week on an awesome show is a super power. Then yes – you will get amazing super powers.
I wish there was a way to make the show more appealing but on the surface it does sound either ridiculous or like something that your baby sister would enjoy more than you. But there’s no other show in recent years that has charmed me in the same way as Veronica Mars, and it frustrates me to no end that it struggles week to week. Critics and nerds can’t be the only ones watching this show. There have to be intelligent TV viewers that are willing to skip The Unit once and a while. I love Dennis Haysbert as much as the next guy but I find him much more compelling a day later on DVR.
I admit that I’m a TV junkie. Yeo too. It’s gotten to the point where we have a schedule for what shows we’ll watch and what shows we’ll tape. By November we’ll have about 20 hours of unwatched TV on our cue, I’m sure. It’s sad, I know, but normally we get bored a few weeks into the new season and cut our “must watch” shows down from 4 a night to 4 a week. Mars is one that will never get knocked off the list. Nor will it’s new CW lead-in Gilmore Girls.
That show has been Yeo’s favorite show for years and she got me hooked on it hard. I watched it with her when we first started dating because I was humoring her and trying to make her happy, but it didn’t take long before I found myself really engrossed by the show. There’s nothing quite so humiliating as riding a crowded subway, hearing two 13-year-old girls talk about if Luke and Lorelai are going to make it through this mess with Christopher, and understanding exactly what they’re talking about. It’s my secret shame, but I too love the Gilmore Girls. I try to rationalize it by pointing out the clever writing or sex appeal of it’s starlets, but the truth is, I’m as wrapped up in the goings-on of Stars Hollow as any other pre-teen girl.
Needless to say, don’t bother calling me on Tuesday nights from now on. The phone will be off between 8 and 9 and if for some reason it’s on and you manage to sneak a ring in… be prepared for a tongue-lashing. The bad kind.
The pairing of these two shows is great. Gilmore Gilrs has a great audience that I think would really enjoy Veronica Mars. The shows are different enough to not blend together, but but similar enough to compliment what the other does best. As glad as I am that I won’t have to hit the remote an extra time on Tuesday nights, when CW put these two great shows together, they may have signed Mars’ death warrant.
On UPN Veronica Mars never had a decent opening act. Never mind that it spent it’s first season competing with LOST’s first year, but what carry over traffic should they have expected from Sunset Beach or reruns of America’s Next Top Model? With Gilmore there are no more excuses. The Girls will bring the audience, and if Veronica Mars can’t hold it, that’s it. The big C word. Not the dirty one, the bad TV one.
Mars was only given an order of 13 episodes. I beg you to give this fantastic show a chance and help extended it to a full season. I promise that it’s not as lame as a little girl solving mysteries Hardy Boys style. It smart and fast and funny and it’s the type of show that will really surprise you with its twists and ideas. Don’t be concerned about catching up, that’s what these season premiers are for! I’m sure that there will be plenty of recaps to send you on your way and that the new story will be original enough to hold your attention.
If you’ve agreed with me in the past with any of my movie reviews then do me a favor and check out tonight’s Season premier of Veronica Mars. How bad could it be? Besides, Kristen Bell is smoking hot!
None Review Related News:
One quick note today. Tyson from Pirate and Alien and his wife Laura just had a little baby boy! Tyson is kicking off a guest month and I was horned to be invited to play along because P&A is probably my favorite strip artistically on line. I think what Tyson is able to do with a strong line and limited color palate is absolutely amazing.. Check out my guest strip, which went up yesterday, and be sure to have a look around. All the best to you two, and to your new little guy too.
Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
