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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Released: 11/03/06

Viewed: 11:05 am 11/03/06

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian

Directed by: Larry Charles

Twentieth Century Fox Official Site of the Movie

Not since Pee Wee set out in search of his stolen red bicycle has there been such a bizarre individual meeting strangers and changing lives in the road trip to end all road trips. And it’s been a long road waiting for Borat, the film about an outsider's perspective of the U S and A from the mind of Sacha Baron Cohen, to hit theaters and redefine the “crazy American”. Rumblings of this film started this past summer as teaser trailers shocked audiences with its unique approach to the fish out of water tale and racism. Since then it’s been non-stop attack of Borat related marketing that has you either fed up with waiting for the damn thing, or more eager than ever. Either way I’m willing to bet at some point this weekend you’ll have a ticket in your hand. And you’ll be glad you did.

Borat is a Kazakhstan newscaster that has traveled to America to film a documentary about the greatest country in the world! The perfect set up to let this classless, sex starved brute of a character run wild and shock the laughs right out of us. The sheer absurdness of it all will keep you dizzy as the movie bounces back and forth between absolute shock and sidesplitting laughter.

Much of the comedy is direct and impossible to ignore, but Cohen does a brilliant job of filling the void between the big laughs with his subtle and polished delivery. The mannerisms and accent have clearly been thought out to the utmost. Combined with his natural skill for improvisation, fearlessness of the authority, and aggressive willingness to be naked, Cohen has officially established himself as one of the most dangerous comedians on the planet.

His natural style lends well to the documentary facade of the film. Borat has as many staged scenes as it does spontaneous ones, most likely for the purposes of furthering the plot. At times it felt a little forced but before you know it, something overly offensive is going down and you’re laughing to hard to worry about the movies ultimate goal.

What I really liked was that it didn't feel like a” big” movie. They were able to go big with some of the ideas but still keep the feel of a low budget Kazakhstan production that made the skits work so well when the character first appeared on Da Ali G Show. Before the movie there was a trailer for Reno 911: Miami and seeing them blowing up cars and beaching whales just screamed "We have a budget, and we're gonna use it to buy some bigger laughs!" (It'll work), but Borat still feels very much like a man and his camera slowly making their way across America. That's important to the character and they nailed it.

There's been a lot of talk about the country of Kazakhstan being upset about how they're represented, not to mention the negative attention from all the anti-Semitic ramblings in the film that resulted in the studio knocking the opening weekend screen total from 2000 down to 800. It's true that Kazakhstanians aren't represented as the upper crust of society with all their naked wrestling and sister kissing, and Jewish people, made out to be money obsessed, horn-hiding devils with the power to transform in to cockroaches also have every right in being offended. But the group that should be hiding their heads in the sand after viewing Borat is Americans.

Between the homophobic cowboy, the ball-busting New Yorkers, and the drunken frat boys that are pro slavery, our nation looks very much like the collection of Jerry Springer guests that the rest of the world envisions us to be. What makes it even worse is that the Kazakhstan stereotypes and anti-Semitism featured in Borat are fabricated for the purpose of humor, but the negative American's are 100% real.

The only personal attack that everyone can agree on is when Borat confronts a gypsy. Completely hysterical. Everyone hates gypsies and they never go to the movies so we can all laugh with a guilt free conscience. Please don’t put a curse on my comic.

So how will Borat hold up in today’s competitive box office market? Honestly I have no idea. It's targeted right at my age range so it's all I’ve been hearing about for months. A few weeks ago I speculated that it could be another Snakes on a Plane, where once great buzz lead to a bitter audience that abandoned it too early. To his credit Cohen has been hitting the publicity machine hard making appearances in character as Borat on every major entertainment vehicle that would have him. Watching him pop up on Saturday Night Live was a thrill, until it became apparent its PG-13 focus group was going to keep the R-rated comedy pretty tame. I enjoyed much more his unexpected and violent attempts to shave Conan O’Brien’s pubes, and his recoil in terror at learning Jon Stewart was a Jew.

But it feels like it's been too much too often with Borat. Not to mention it's going up against two kid's movies that are sure to draw in a crowd. Weeks ago I figured The Santa Clause 3 and Flushed Away might split the demographic and let Borat rise to the top. But as lame as it is, people are going to freak out over the Santa Clause which I think will win the weekend, followed by Borat, The Departed (why not right? It's your year Marty!), and Flushed, but it’s really hard to tell. The theater was packed and rowdy for Borat, even at 11 am, but as soon as the weekend hits, the kids will be in control and there’s no telling how those freaks will mess things up.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Solid laughs all the way through and enough memorable quotes to keep you and your friends saying “Very nice” and “Sexy time” through to Thanksgiving. Worth seeing in the theater for sure if you have a chance because as little as this movie feels, it deserves to be enjoyed in a big way.

DVD Worthy?:

There’s enough catch phrases and randomness to make this film watchable until the end of time but to be honest I fear the DVD. It promises to offer up a ton of edit footage, but the theatrical release is crisp with perfection and my gut tells me the footage was cut for a reason. I could make excuses all day but the truth is I just don’t want to see an unedited version of the naked fight scene.

Recommendation: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

In 1985 Paul Reubens and Tim Burton united together to take a popular children’s television show and make it into one of the greatest head trips a kid could go on. 20 years later Cohen captures the same charm and excitement of adventure but opts to replace the definitive man-child with an ignorant sex fiend. It’s a new “big adventure” for all the little kids that grew up with Pee Wee, but have since traded their red bikes in for promiscuous women. Little Johnny’s all growns up.

Trailer Hitch: Reno 911: Miami

Comedy Centrals loveable and completely incapable cops take the leap to the big screen with Reno 911: Miami. I understand the appeal of the show and have watched a few episodes, but never really got into it. To be honest never gave it a fair shake. The movies trailer may be winking, nodding and suggesting towards a slew on inside jokes that only loyal viewers will understand, but thankfully it still plays out really funny to us noobs. The trailer delivers plenty of laughs, as a budget and a change of scenery seem to have added a new level of humor to the group, as if they finally have the big money to back their big jokes. I’m looking forward to it but secretly hope it’s not that good so I don’t fall in love with the characters and end up blowing 50 bucks on the DVD sets.

Outside the Theater: Ok folks, it’s time to be a good web comic community. Good friend Adam, over at Drastic Comics had a snafu with his computer and contacted me for a guest strip. You’ve got to support so I’m in and if you enjoy Drastic and are also a web comic person I implore you to help out as well. Support and cooperation are the cornerstones of a good society and just common decency. Without it we might as well be a bunch of monkeys throwing monkey business at each other.

In all seriousness, I’m a big believer in guest comics. They are a huge part of the web comic world and should be done as often as possible. We have to watch each other’s backs because if we don’t then before you know it we’ll be getting hit in the face with monkey business.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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