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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Flushed Away

Released: 11/03/06

Viewed: 11:45 am 11/03/06

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Ian McKellen, Jean Reno, Bill Nighy, Andy Serkis, Shane Richie

Directed by: David Bowers Sam Fell

Dreamworks - The Official Site

Rarely does following a mouse into the sewer, for an adventure of friendship and filth sound like a worthwhile afternoon, but how often is that mouse so well dressed and voiced by Hugh Jackman? If that weren’t enough, this underground population of vermin all have British accents and their own makeshift London made of soup cans and Lego blocks. It would almost be as cool as the real thing if it weren’t for the smell.

Our adventure through stinky London is lead by Rodney (Jackman), a mouse that had an isolated and pampered lifestyle on the surface and wants nothing more than to return to it. As a pet of a family of upper class humans, Rodney’s only interaction, once his owners leave for holiday, is with a pack of lifeless dolls and a big screen TV. For those of you about to erupt with a “Heywaitaminute”, hold your horses. I remember too. In the earlier trailers for Flushed Away, Rodney is clearly seen with at least two mice butlers that live with him in the lap of luxury. This minor detail in the long run hurts the films concept of luxury and loneliness versus poverty and companionship, so I’m willing to let it slide without too much of a fuss. But for the record I hate false trailer information. It’s like a beautiful woman that seduces you in a bar and ends up being a dude. Not cool.

The worst case I ever saw of false trailer information was for Highlander: Endgame. In the trailer they show someone getting cut in half! …Never happens. To be fair though, my friends and I have had years of laughs making fun of how angry we were that day. If there can “be only one” make it Highlander!

Where was I? Oh right the king in his castle. When a filthy sewer rat pops out of the pipes and unleashes his crude ways on Rodney’s sweet set up, you can practically hear the Odd Couple theme start up. But the movie surprised me, taking a quick turn and sending Rodney down into the sewers to begin his adventure. All within about 7 minutes.

This quick pacing is pretty common in Flushed Away. The storyline and laughs flow steadily and swiftly enough were your not really given the chance to get bored. Some of the jokes I really loved and found myself laughing through to the next scene, oddly enough most of those laughs came from the character of the bleached lab mouse played by Bill Nighy . Hands down the best rat enforcer of cinematic history. Truth be told, in hindsight the humor throughout is a little less clever than it is cute. They save their clever moments for the stuff done with the size adjustment. Things like hand-mixers being used by the mice as jet skis, and a wire clothes hanger’s top being used as a mouse pirate’s hook.

Once in the sewer civilization Rodney immediately sets his sites on returning to the surface. Of course the sheltered life of sophistication he is used to, feeds this fish-out-of-water scenario just enough for him to cause some serious damage in the short time he’s down there. Before you know it, the lovely boat captain (Kate Winslet) has been forced into helping him return home, and the evil aristocrat bullfrog (voiced by Ian McKellen who gives us the most entertaining frog on film since Kermit took Manhattan) is on their tails. Let the chaos ensue.

Without spoiling the ending I’ll say that Flushed Away was smart enough where I didn’t see it coming, but not so smart that the kiddies won’t know what’s going on. I was quite pleased with the amount of tension and excitement they were able to bring to it. At the same time they were able to convincingly wrap up the primary story of friendship without getting too sappy. Some kids will milk that emotional angel for all it’s worth. I found that Flushed Away had just the right touch.

The animation had the least impact on me than I would have expected. I can’t decide if that’s because the story was so good or the animation had nothing to offer. Looking back I can’t find anything wrong with it technically, but I can’t say that I was blown away either. The usual pitfalls where things go terribly wrong, things like hair and water, all looked awesome. There were a couple of close-up shots on the characters where the movies claymation style of animation felt abrupt. But for the most part the animation was so smooth and well done that I was truly able to focus on the story and the characters without saying either “That character looks like crap” or “That camera angle is amazing!”

I love the animation house behind Flushed Away, who are also responsible for Wallace and Grommet and Chicken Run, but it was an interesting experience to watch an animated movie and not be so distracted by the fact that it wasn’t real. It felt real, and it felt believable. …And I can’t believe I just said that about a talking animal movie.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Flushed away was light and funny, not the sort of animated film that will make you go out and start making babies so you can watch nothing but this movie ‘round the clock, but it was certainly a worthy trip to the theater.

DVD Worthy?:

Yeah, if the price is right. I had a really good time with this one and even though I laughed a little too hard at some jokes that were just a little too cute, Flushed Away is the type of movie I could see myself enjoying again and watching with the kiddies.


Nothing springs to mind, but I can tell you that a few months down the road when Pixar’s next film, Ratatouille comes out, I’ll be referencing back to Flushed Away. Reason being is because it appears to be the exact same set-up. God knows why these dueling themes arise in animation every couple of years (Ants/A Bug’s Life, Madagascar/The Wild, Happy Feet/Surf’s Up) but there always seems to be a champion. Flushed Away has the advantage of coming out first and being actually good, but you can never count out Pixar. And the fact that Patton Oswalt is Ratatouille’s star isn’t hurting their chances for an eleventh hour upset.

Trailer Hitch: The Nativity Story

The Nativity Story is a film heating theaters on Christmas day that tells the story of The Virgin Mary. Taking a page from Passion of The Christ, Nativity shows us an unseen perspective on the story exposing some of the less talked about hardships she endured. Stuff like explaining the pregnancy to a patriarchal society that kills women for infidelity. Nativity however ignores the language barriers and films the movie in English, making it more accessible to it’s target kid audience. Kids hate to read. The movie looks OK, a little sappy maybe, but that’s all I’m going to say about it so as not to invite God’s wrath.

Outside the Theater:

I completely forgot to comment on this yesterday, but the guest comic I mentioned a couple of entries ago did in fact go up this week. And it came out ok if I do say so myself. Have a [url= http://drasticcomics.com/index.php?id=162]look[/url].

More tomorrow folks!

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

@geekboypress Let me know what booth you're at and I'll swing by!
07 Aug 2022
Kevin Gleason
@joedunn721 Unbelievable how many steps back we are taking.
23 Jul 2022