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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Let’s Go To Prison

Released: 11/17/06

Viewed: 7:25 pm 11/17/06

Starring: Dax Shepard, Will Arnett, Chi McBride

Directed by: Bob Odenkirk

Universal Pictures - Official Site of the Movie

Prison is a great in concept. I mean, I understand that it’s a form of punishment but it’s also a program designed to reform people by providing a safe environment to grow and change. Like high school except you can’t leave. In that respect, Prison is the bomb. I would love the time to just focus on life, art, maybe actually read a book again. But like most things, prison is better in theory than it is in actuality. I wouldn’t be able to deal with the power struggles and 24-hour ass protecting.

Let’s Go To Prison offers an alternative look at the do’s and don’ts of incarceration. It’s the type of movie that should blow the doors of the idea of prison offering insight to a reality that will make you laugh hysterically ,but still instill enough fear to keep you on the straight and narrow. Instead Prison tiptoes through jokes we’ve heard a million times, never taking advantage of the opportunities for real laughter. Prison has some nice ideas and a strong cast, but offers nothing new. Dax Shepard is strong in the lead role, convincing me that he’s definitely got what it takes to carry a movie. He’s as cool and funny as he’s ever been and is very likeable even as a lazy, albeit determined convict. After being sent to prison twice by the same judge, John Lyshitski set’s out for revenge. But by the time he serves his sentence, the judge has died. John does the only logical thing… he focuses his revenge on the judge’s only son, Nelson Biederman IV (Will Arnett).

Thankfully the son is the type of unlikable jerk the audience would gladly see framed for a ridiculous crime and locked up. Arnett plays the part perfectly, capturing the very worst qualities of the pampered rich kid turned prison bitch. In his first substantial role on the big screen after supporting one of the greatest comedies shows of the last 10 years (Arrested Development), Arnett ably proves that he’s funny enough to pay to watch.

John gets himself locked up as well to ensure that Biederman’s life is hell on the inside. Helping him with that is Barry (Chi McBride) who is instantly smitten with the fresh meat. Barry is the oddest combination of comfort and fear. He’s like a cuddly teddy bear that wants to make friends with your butt. McBride is always good, and it’s a lot of fun to see him take on comedies. He has this ability to take the most mundane line and get you laughing out loud. The man knows deadpan.

After an interesting set-up the movie plummets into predictability. Prison is safe and non-threatening, which is ridiculous to say considering the plot revolves around man-rape and chiving people in the bathroom. The movie manages to be amusing all the way through but never takes any real chances to become the epic comedy you’d expect out of this group. They treat us like we’ve never encountered the concept of being someone’s bitch in prison. Everyone knows what happens in prison. That’s the real reason people don’t want to be there. The rest of the humor is just as clichéd. Prepare yourself for jokes about white supremacist gangs, nasty prison food, and corrupt guards. The only thing missing is cigarettes as currency. And that’s just because cigarette’s as a form of currency are stronger than the American dollar at this point.

Most viewers could smell the mediocrity of the movie from its trailer, which, like the movie itself, is as risky as an undercooked hamburger. But the deciding factor in me wanting desperately to see the film, was director Bob Odenkirk, a comedy ledged who’s worked on The Ben Stiller show, SNL and of course his sketch comedy masterpiece with David Cross, Mr. Show. The movie itself looked to be playing up every major prison stereotype in the book, but Odenkirk’s unique comedic voice gave me hope that it could avoid unoriginality. That voice I was looking for barely manages a squeak.

An impressive supporting cast including David Koechner, Dylan Baker and Odenkirk himself were able to do little more for the overall movie besides steal their respective scenes. With a support system this remarkable, Prison had the potential to be a much stronger comedy. But they were really just a group of very talented day players that are ushered out of the movie as quickly as they’re introduced. Forgotten before you have the opportunity to appreciate what they’ve done.

You’ll enjoy the actors, you’ll enjoy the story, but you’ll be waiting a long time for the real laughs to show up. They just never take the chances necessary to make the movie great. The only real insight Prison offers is either that there are no new jokes about jail or that this group was just as ignorant to those jokes as the rest of us.

Rating: 4 out of 10

Let’s Go To Prison is cute and harmless. Everything and R rated movie about prison shouldn’t be. There should be buzz on the streets about how far they took things, about how unbelievable the shower scene was or how they’ll never be able to erase that memory from their mind. Hell even if people were violently offended by it, that would be something. Instead everyone’s just talking about how badass Bond is, and anyone that is actually muttering about Prison will forget it completely sooner than you can say, The Fountain.

DVD Worthy?:

No. Even if I loved it to death, Let’s Go To Prison has “Basic Cable” and “Discount DVD” written all over it. The most exciting race of the spring will be who begrudgingly picks this up first - TBS or Blockbuster.

Recommendation: Half Baked

About 8 minutes of Half Baked takes place inside prison walls and every second of that takes more advantage of the comedic possibilities of prison than Let’s Go To Prison does in it’s entirety. “Squirrel Master”, “Nasty Nate”, and “Cocktail, fruit” play on the same stereotypes that Prison is built around but manages to push them to the point where the jokes become legendary. Half Baked barely scratches the surface of what a prison comedy could be and makes it look completely effortless.

Trailer Hitch: Balls of Fury

How does one describe Balls of Fury? A thrilling government takedown of an underworld crime syndicate by attacking them where they’re weakest – tournament ping-pong! It’s a comedy obviously, starring a lot of familiar faces most notably Christopher Walken as an Asian crime lord. Picture Pai Mei but with an even more false looking beard, and more dancing I’m sure.

Balls has the potential to suck balls on all kinds of levels, but could also be the extreme does of wackiness this year has been waiting on. Good or bad Maggie Q is in it and that’s all I need to hear to show up at the theater.

Outside the Theater: So, how many of you enjoyed my little Goth Spiderman from the Spiderman Teaser Trailer comic on Friday? How many of you enjoyed it when Cartridge Comics did it first over 6 months ago?

I was seriously bummed out upon hearing that the idea had been done. It’s the sort of idea that I knew I wouldn’t be the first to think of, but I had hoped I’d be the first to make a comic out of. Chris and Lex from Cartridge beat me to the punch fair and square, and what makes it sting even worse is that they did it better!

For the record, I wasn’t aware of their version before doing mine. After I was alerted to the problem I contacted Chris and Lex to explain that to them and they were very gracious and kind about the entire situation. Big thanks to them for being so cool about it. Do what I did and go to Cartridge Comics and read through their archives. I went through them primarily so I would never unintentionally rip them off again, but the comic is totally worth reading even if I wasn’t afraid of their genius ideas.

Gotta go for now, but Casino Royale was amazing. Expect the big Bond comic this Wednesday.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V