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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

10 on the 10th: Joe’s Top 10 Ghost Movies of All Time

December 2006

Well, I’ve taken a couple of months off from the 10 on the 10th, for reasons to be explained later, but for better or for worse – it’s back! This month the 10 on the 10th takes a closer look at some of my favorite Ghost movies including the readers pick for the comic and review, Ghostbusters.

For those of you new to the comic and unfamiliar with the 10 on the 10th, it’s a special monthly comic where I choose a category, create a top ten list, and ask the readers to vote on which of the ten they’d like to see get a full review and a comic focused on it. It’s been an opportunity to connect the comic more with the reader as well as an chance for me to go back and watch some of my favorite movies on DVD. Check out some from the past strips including 12 Monkeys, Transformers: The Movie, The Crow and Star Wars: A New Hope.

But enough about the past, it’s time to look to the future! Which oddly enough involves the dead. Here are my top ten ghost movies of all time:

10. Three Men and A Baby (Touchstone Pictures 1987) This made the list more as a goof. Many of you may be familiar with the rumor that there is a ghost in Three Men and a Baby. Apparently some boy died years before in the apartment where they were shooting and like any young person in Hollywood, he got some screen time. The truth is, it’s actually just a stand up of Ted Danson that someone left on the set. But this movie made a huge chunk of rental money in the early 90’s based on that rumor so whoever got in trouble that day for not cleaning out the set properly deserves a fruit basket or something. Even though this movie doesn’t really belong on the list it’s still a great family movie. Check it out. 8 out of 10

9. The Others (Cruise/Wagner Productions 2001) The Others rode the success of The Sixth Sense with it’s ghostly nature and surprise ending. What’s nice is that they didn’t make this one too obvious. I can honestly say that I was at least a little surprised with the big reveal. I think the reason it doesn’t leap out at you is because they constantly give you a lot to think about and a lot to freak out over. I still can’t watch that closet scene without having the volume at 2 bars. 8 out of 10

8. Gothika (Warner Brothers Pictures 2003) I caught so much crap over putting Gothika on this list. I guess I’m the only one that thought it was a smart modern ghost mystery with quality acting and terrific frights. Maybe folks stayed away from it because of the bizarre title or the overexposed starlet (Halle Berry who was just between her best and worst comic book films). But all I remember is being thoroughly freaked out and really impressed by how engaging it was from start to finish. When your murder mystery involves a ghost it’s real easy to go real big, and I admired the restraint they had. It’s worth a viewing if you have the time. 8 out of 10

7. Beetlejuice (Warner Brothers Pictures 1988) because it’s a great and I’d really like to watch it again, but there will always be a Star Wars or a Ghostbusters to beat it out. Maybe one day I’ll do the top 10 movies starring Michael Keaton where he plays a character named Beetlejuice. Somehow I’m sure I’d end up reviewing Jack Frost the next month.

On the boards I said how surprised I was that Beetlejuice couldn’t make it a tighter race and some people suggested doing a second comic. I told them that if I were to do a second strip it would be Gothika. I would do it out of spite just because of all the grief people were giving me. I find spite to be an excellent motivator.

Even at loss number two it’s still a fine film. A great example of Tim Burton’s whimsical storytelling and wicked sense of humor. Its twisted look into the afterlife that will leave you hopeful or terrified, but either way you’ll be laughing out loud. 8.5 out of 10

6. The Ring (Dreamworks 2002) The Ring was the first Japanese horror remake to hit big here in America. It hit REALLY big, making Naomi Watts a freaky longhaired Asian children all the rage. Even though I wasn’t in love with the haunted videotape angle, the movie thoroughly scared the hell out of me and had me constantly wondering what was going to happen next. It made the list because it’s an honest to God, well-made and terrifying movie. Those are more rare then I’d like despite all the cookie cutter wannabes that Hollywood has thrown at us since. 9 out of 10

5. A Christmas Carol (George Minter Productions 1951) A Christmas Carol is one of those movies from my childhood that I would always get so enthralled by. It is of course based on the classic story by Charles Dickens of the same name, about three ghosts that help bring and old curmudgeon back his holiday spirit. The story is sappy and corny to no end but so universally relatable that it has been told a hundred times over on film by everyone from Bill Murray to The Muppets. Of course this great story has also been butchered on countless sitcom soundstages by the likes of Urkel and Screech, but it just goes to show you how universal the story is.

I’ll always go back to the 1951 version starring Alastair Sim, which is actually called Scrooge. It’s an old fashioned movie with a great big sweeping story that really engages and inspires the child in you. The type of stories that don’t seem to be told anymore. I have a horrible attention span but if it’s done in just the right way, a larger than life epic, even with outdated effects and no actors I recognize, can be the best Christmas gift of all. 9 out of 10

4. The Wraith (Alliance Communications Corporation 1986) Ok, this is the movie that I voted for. Yes, I vote. I read JLCM as much as anyone and I deserve a vote too. Unfortunately only one other soul agreed with me, that this 1986 Charley Sheen masterpiece about a vengeful car racing ghost that taunts Clint Howard and seduces ex-girlfriends was worth a closer look. Actually, I’m lucky it didn’t win. Is this thing even out on DVD? If it is, add it to the list because even with its borderline B-movie quality, it’s a hidden gem and a perfect example of pure 80’s goodness. 9 out of 10

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Walt Disney Pictures 2003) As much as I’m having trouble washing the incomplete sequel out of my head, Pirates of the Caribbean is one of the best movies of our generations. Not just because it made boatloads of cash and ranks right up there with Potter and Skywalker when it comes to success, but because it’s just technically a brilliant movie. Fun, exciting, tons of good looking people to look at for girls and boys alike. But beyond first instincts and high cheekbones, Pirates is the perfect combination of acting, visual effects, action and storytelling to make it the kind of epic adventure film worth remembering.

The sequel, Dead Man’s Chest, came out this past summer and ruled the majority of its box office dollars. And as much as I loved its predecessor, to say that I was disappointed with Dead Man’s Chest is an understatement. I felt like they muddled up a lot of what was so well established in this original film. Still, when it came out on DVD this past week it was very difficult not to pick it up. But I have to wait for the third film. I feel like next years Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End will either justify the actions in the second film or destroy the franchise thematic story completely. 10 out of 10

2. The 6th Sense (Spyglass entertainment 1999) I love Ghostbusters, but The Sixth Sense is probably the best all around movie on this list, and the strongest Ghost story of the last 10 years. M. Night Shyamalan’s telling of a boy (HJO) haunted by the dead and the man (Bruce Willis) that tries to help him is told with such heart and passion. It’s twist ending and pacing, crawling along slowly but somehow able to keep you as interested as you are terrified, made it the quiet thriller to live up. Even if the ending has been spoiled for you don’t miss out on this stellar example of filmmaking and character. 10 out of 10

1. Ghostbusters (Columbia Pictures 1984) I don’t know why I was so surprised that Ghostbusters won your vote. It’s my favorite of the bunch so why shouldn’t it be yours too? TI managed the top spot in my mind more for nostalgic reasons and because a generally prefer to laugh than cry. Make no mistakes though – It may not technically be the best movie on the list, but it’ll always be number one in our hearts. Scroll down for the full review.

On The Fence: There were a few films that almost made the list but got bumped for one reason or another. I give you… the runners up.

Scrooged - This ghostly Christmas classic was a contender and would have replaced Three Men and a Baby had I not been in such a snarky mood. Of course it didn’t help that the story of A Christmas Carol was already represented on the list at number five, but the Murray holiday movie is still one of the sharpest comedies of Murray’s early career, and they definitely brought a great new perspective to the classic tale. 8 out of 10

Just as a warning – the DVD review contains spoilers

Ghostbusters

Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Annie Potts, William Atherton, Ernie Hudson

Directed by: Ivan Reitman

1984 Universal Pictures

I was born in the late 70’s and remember nothing of it. Nor do I remember the first couple years of the 80’s which sucks because the music was so choice back then. I don’t remember the early day’s of Saturday Night Live or movies like Meatballs, Stripes and Caddyshack - The movies that established the careers and friendship of the four men that would make one of the most significant and memorable movies of this, and every other nerds, young life. But thank God for home video because it allowed me to discover all those classics including the best of the bunch - Ghost busters.

Who’d of thought that a supernatural adventure about 3 scientists battling ghosts in New York City would become such a comedy classic. Who’d of thought a movie with that premise could work as a comedy at all? It sounds anything but funny, but with when Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Bill Murray are your building blocks, you’re going to have a pretty humorous foundation.

Ghostbusters was an event movie. Like Star Wars. The kind of movie that, when it came out, impressed adults as much as it did children simply because there had never been anything quite like it before on screen. It appealed not to a specific audience but to all audiences because it was something new. It’s ambition with visual effects as well as the mash up of comedy and horror separated it apart from the horror movies, comedies, and visual spectacles that came before it. In fact when it comes to making movies that are as laugh out loud funny as they are finger nail biting terrifying, there haven’t even been that many since that have been able to bottle the same magical combination. I’m a big fan of Broken Lizard’s Club Dread which does a great job mixing the two, but resorts to a hard R rating to get the job done. Ghostbusters was able to achieve the same balance and still, somehow, make it accessible to children.

In fact a lot of this movie I would say caters to children. Slimer is practically a cartoon, the proton pack is a little boys wet dream as a twisted combination of guns and fireworks, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is a stuffed animal just waiting to come to life. When I was a child, the movie was so much about experiencing a fantastic and terrifying adventure. (Perhaps a little too terrifying as some scenes have been burdened into my brain since childhood. Rick Moranis being attacked outside the restaurant and no one helping him… Sigourney Weaver floating above the bed… those moments aren’t even the most frightening in the film but I can remember being haunted by them.) As a 7 year old watching it on TV I barely understood what was going on within the structure of the story but would still get completely caught up in the adventure, cheering and laughing along, even though I had no idea why it was supposed to be funny.

The older I got the more I started to appreciate just how funny the movie really is. The one time stand out visual effects now took a back seat to Bill Murray’s one liners and comebacks. Of course, visual effects have since grown leaps and bounds dwarfing the amazing work this group did in 1984, but a great line of dialogue is going to work regardless of the fact that a claymation dog looks completely out of place jumping through a wall.

I think every little boy wanted to be Peter Venkman (a roll originally intended for John Belushi. It would have been interesting, but a completely different finished piece.) when they were little. At least for a little while, and why not? He gets all the laughs AND the girl. Murray has had a brilliant resurgence in recent years changing his career completely but remaining as smart and sharply clever as ever. While Ghostbusters may not be his best movie anymore, it certainly remains one of his strongest and most memorable performances. At least to this little nerd that’s been laughing at his antics for decades.

When I watch the movie now it’s Harold Ramis’ work that stands out the most, and in recent years, Egon has quickly become my favorite Ghostbuster. Venkman gets the lines that fanboys will quote into infinity, but Ramis’ perfect deadpan delivery of dialogue like “Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?” or “Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.“ just flips my laugh switch into the on position every time. Admittedly, the humor is more in the delivery than the line itself, but it’s hard to ignore that Ramis’ performance as Egon in Ghostbusters is one the funniest straight man/man-statues in recent history, and he delivers every line with static, robotic perfection.

As much as I wanted to be Venkman and admire a lot of what Egon is all about, I’m totally a Ray. It could be worse though. At least he’s the one that gets laid by a ghost in his dreams.

What really made the movie special back then and still work today is the chemistry between the cast and crew. The four principal players director Ivan Reitman, co-writers Aykroyd and Ramis, and front man Murray had all worked together on a slew of projects leading up to Ghostbusters. There was a friendship, an understanding, a shorthand that allowed them to work together with ease and produce the best product possible. I think the movie benefits from that kinship and common vision as the Ghostbusters look like real friends and sound like the funniest men on the planet.

That chemistry also carries over to Weaver who had found much success before Ghostbusters with Alien, but had never really tackled comedy before. The scenes between her and Murray are crucial for this film to work and while her character is there to ground the films more serious moments, they couldn’t have found a more lovely and natural focal point for the guys to act like buffoons around. It’s amazing how much class she brings to the film considering that before the movies end, she turns into a dog.

Since 1984 there have movies with better effects, scarier villains, wittier comebacks, and heartier laughs than Ghostbusters. And the future promises even more progress in all these areas. But whatever is said about a particular effect, a particular character, or a particular joke in any movie ever, it can’t change the fact that Ghostbusters is one of the strongest comedies ever to exist. It can’t take away the unique combination that made this movie so special and so memorable.

Despite what Ghostbuster you relate to the most, whether you’re the wisecracking ladies man, the positive optimist full of heart, the brainy logical thinker, or the black guy, we can all agree that this movie is something special.

Ok, sorry about that. I just always feel bad that black guys always get lumped in with Winston just because he’s the only black Ghostbuster. Ernie Hudson is awesome in that movie but any African American kid that loves the Ghostbusters and wants to play it with his friends is always stuck being Winston. For the record he’s the rational hardworking man with an outside perspective. Not a bad thing to be but it’s always nice to have choices.

Rating: 10 out of 10 - As much a treat today as it was over 20 years ago when I first saw it. It’s amazing what little lines will sneak up on you and make you laugh. I’d feel bad if I didn’t talk about Rick Moranis who brings so much to the film as Louis the bumbling insurance man/key master. While he doesn’t achieve Ghostbuster status until its 1989 sequel, Rick is an important part of this masterpiece.

A true testament to what a collectors DVD should be, especially since this fully packed edition is now nearly 8 years old. Ghostbusters was one of the first movies to really take advantage of the medium in a creative way with multiple featurettes (including one from 1984 when the movies was released), conceptual drawings as well as interactive text and audio commentaries. And even though their image-intrusive audio commentary track didn’t exactly take the DVD industry by storm, it just shows how excited they were to experiment and embrace this new home video technology.

Stand outs

There was something in the trivia commentary that really had an impact on me in terms of what storytelling works in movies. The Ghostbusters had just defeated Gozer and recovered Dana and Louis and everything was ok. Reichmann pointed out that originally there had been more dialogue on the roof and even another scene out in front of the building, but that at this point – “the movie was over. The sooner we got to the credits, the better”

And that made so much sense to me. They end the movie on a high note and don’t give the audience a chance to get bored with an excessive wrap up ala Return of the King. What’s better is they use the credits as an abbreviated wrap up. While the credit’s role, each cast member is spotlighted, we get to see things like Janine hug Egon, Ray behind the wheel of Ectoone one last time, Venkman and Dana kissing, and even the people of New York covered in marshmallow fluff cheering them on. Really that’s all the closure we need. And the fact that the Ghostbusters theme is blaring in the background the whole time just helps to keep you in the moment.

It just made me realize that the best movies know when to end and that a drawn out ending can make even the best movies a disappointment. I’ve been applying it to everything I’ve watched since -Apocalypto could have ended a scene early and been stronger. The Holiday felt just right.

What’s Missing?

That’s simple. Bill Murray. Between commentaries and featurettes, every other major player in this film is represented except Murray. A noticeable absence since he was the loudest voice in the film, and the Ghostbuster every kid connects with initially.

I have no clue why he was out of the loop. Every now and then a story will pop up about strained tension between Murray and the others. Stories that could be true or false. I heard one where Murray was upset at rumors that his character Venkman was busted down to just a cameo in the script for a 3rd film. God knows if any of it’s true. What’s important is how good the movie they made back then is, and that it still holds up today.

DVD: 8 out of 10

It’s a strong set that’s do for a revamp but still has more content then 90% of any dual disk special edition you might stumble across on any given week. In recent years Ghostbusters has been repackaged to include Ghostbusters 2 at the low price of 9.99, but to me Ghostbusters 2 just taints the purchase with it’s un-DVD worthiness. As far as incentives go I’d be more likely to purchase the Ghostbusters DVD if it was haunted than if it came with Ghostbusters 2.

DVD Worthy?

As good as it is… I think I’ll always be holding out hope for a “Slimer edition” with Murray’s inclusion. Don’t call me a fool for wanting the impossible. This is a movie about ghosts.

Well that’s that. I’m nearly all “Ghostbustere-ed” out. But not just yet. Come back tomorrow for a second Ghostbusters comic and a little background on why the 10 on the 10th took a brief hiatus. But before that, let’s look to the future! All the way to the year 2007 when on January 10th we will be taking a closer look at the Top 10 Spy Movies of all time. Here’s my list:

10. Spies Like Us

9. Spy Games

8. Enemy of The State

7. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

6. Mission Impossible 3

5. The Bourne Identity

4. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

3. Casino Royale (2006)

2. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

1. Mission Impossible

You guys know the drill, head over to this thread and cast your vote for which movie you want to get the comic and review treatment next month. And as always I offer that space as an open forum to discuss my picks and include your own top 10 spy movies as well. As most of you know, I have my opinions on what movies are great but realize many people are going to disagree. It’s just the nature of the game. Yeo for instance can stand Mission Impossible while it’s probably one of my all time favorite films. Somehow we make this marriage work…

While the list itself was inspired by the relaunch of James Bond in the absolutely brilliant film Casino Royale (Those of you anxiously awaiting a comic for Casino Royale, don’t worry – it’s coming. It’s a monster, but it’s coming. Don’t feel pressure to vote for it. If it wins there will just be two Casino Royale comics.), there is a noticeable lack of Bond movies on the list. Reason being – I was never really a James Bond fan. I like Connery and had seen all of the Brosnan dynasty in the theaters but never got swept up in the magic of it. Perhaps down the road I’ll put out a call to you Bond fans for your favorite Bond movie and I’ll do a special review specifically for you guys. Truthfully I just need the lesson on what Bond films are the best.

That’s it for now but don’t forget to come back for a second helping of Ghostbusters tomorrow.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V