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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Night at the Museum

Released: 12/22/06

Viewed: 11:50 pm 12/21/06

Starring: Ben Stiller, Carla Guigino, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, Bill Cobbs, Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams, Steve Coogan, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd

Directed by: Shawn Levy

Twentieth Century Fox - Official Site of the Movie

As a guy that goes to the movies as often as I do, and sits through a lot of trailers that give far too much away, I really admire the marketing campaign Night at the Museum has adapted. While most trailers these days reveal the beginning middle and end of a movie, the ones for Museum are only showing us gags and the fantastic premise that the displays in a museum are coming to life when the sun goes down. The trailers don’t explain why or how this is happening, they just put it out there with some flashy effects and some heavy weight name actors, and wait for us to be baited in. To my surprise there’s so much going on in the movie that I would never have expected, and I love it! Of course that’s not saying much for my expectations. It’s the equivalently of me saying, “I wasn’t expecting there to be a plot... What a treat?!” But A Night at the Museum kept me on my toes, kept me guessing, and looked incredible all the way through. I loved that there were things I didn’t see coming. It had me asking myself questions like, “ Well what are they going to do with those guys now?” or, “How is he going to explain this to the boss?” and some of it I just plain couldn’t figure out. I was legitimately shocked by some of the turns it took towards the end, and the story is constantly introducing something that’s going to come back and haunt the new night guard (Ben Stiller). And like a little kid seeing his first movie on the big screen, I watched with eager anticipation of what would happen next.

I supposed though that my wonder was based more in logistics, because the problems in this film don’t fix themselves. There was an air of consequence with everything that happened in the museum at night. With every broken window, missing figurine, and burnt display comes a conversation with Ricky Gervais. Gervais, as Larry’s boss, kills in this movie. He’s hysterical. I’m not sure if his drawn-out, half-done, confused but confident lectures would have had the same comedic presence had I not warmed up to his improvising style on The Office, but the crowd sure seemed to love it. This is a character that knows what he wants to say but doesn’t know how to say it, and few people could have played it this well. It’s one of the finest examples of awkward comedy I’ve seen on screen this year.

Museum is a little light on any real belly laughs but there’s enough cute and clever humor to make note. It’s definitely dialled down for the kids, but I found that it was a nice combination of family fun with just a touch of edge to it.

I think as far as drawing the crowd, the premise of a museum, where objects come to life, is going to be appealing enough to any adult with an imagination, and the kids were most likely sold on this thing by the Stiller/monkey slap fight. But it has more to offer beyond a nice set-up and primal violence. There’s a wonderful story about working hard, learning new things, and finding the “greatness” inside of us. Now, before I go on spewing candy-coated Hollywood bull, this is a kid’s movie, and it feels like a kid’s movie. The colors are bright, the critters are cute, and Robin Williams is loud, but there’s still stuff here that even jaded adults should be able to enjoy. They have some really clever ideas that are intentionally played up to kids, but that aren’t insulting to the parents who would normally be suffering through a movie like this. It’s fun – just let it be fun.

In the comic I’m being a little hard on Robin Williams and Owen Wilson. Williams has become a regular target of mine this year in the strips for RV and Man of the Year, but I’m actually impressed with how understated he is in this movie. He has his wacky, explosive, why-is-he-still-talking moments, but he also acts as the voice of reason and guide to Larry on solving his problems and learning the ropes. He’s got a couple of quieter moments that remind you why he has an Oscar, and why he still gets work. Hard things to be reminded of considering he’s dressed up like Theodore Roosevelt.

Wilson on the other hand is playing the same character he always plays in these big budget romps. To be fair though, I think this is the first time he’s worn a cowboy hat. Wait, he wore one in The Royal Tenenbaums, but he actually played a unique character in that film so it doesn’t count. While I find his characters repetitive and his humor best in doses, he comes far from doing any real damage to this movie. In fact, I think the scenes with him and Steve Coogan, as rival diorama figurines, are a lot of fun and add a nice dimension (pardon my pun on these miniature characters) to the story.

And the movies real star, Stiller, is good as usual. I tend to like him best when he’s wearing wigs and creating something completely different (Zoolander, Dodgeball) but as a character I’d imagine is far closer to the actual man, he makes a fantastic tour guide through this wonderful adventure.

I tried to give away as little as I could in this review because everything I didn’t know about the movie when I walked in, was a real treat as it was revealed to me on screen. Things like the reason objects are coming to life, the potential villains within the museum (don’t worry, there are a few of red herrings), and even the fact that Carla Gugino is in it, were all things that I was overjoyed with in the moment and things that you should look forward to discovering on your own. Sorry I let the Gugino thing slip, but she’s to fine not to mention.

In the future I see Night at the Museum dazzling and amazing kids with its effects and imagination. I see these kid’s excited about the possibilities of their own trips to the museum. I see them brutally disappointed at the comparison of reality to film when they learn that the only things coming to life in the real museums are dust spores. I see a generation of children emancipated from their parents and hating Ben Stiller far into the future for “lying to them.” So we should enjoy this journey while it lasts because as much as I love a good trip to museum to learn about the past, it’s rarely this much fun.

Rating: 8 out of 10 - Such a good time! The inventiveness of the script and the beautiful visuals really sucked me in. As an adult it’s probably the most bearable children’s movie I’ve seen since Akeelah and the Bee and that thing didn’t even have a walking dinosaur skeleton in it.

I barely touched on the visuals in this film, but they’re completely beautiful and completely realized. So good that they fade into the background and let you focus on what’s really important. You just accept them as real. I also barely scratched the surface on the supporting cast which included a delightfully smarmy Paul Rudd and screen legends Mickey Rooney, Dick Van Dyke and Bill Cobbs as the retiring night guards. Rooney is an adorable badass and steals the show. Van Dyke has become the wise old grandpa you love to listen to and I wish he showed up in more movies. He’s got the potential to serve the role in comedies that Christopher Plummer fills in dramas. I could go on all day but it’ll have to wait for a DVD review.

I’m not ruling it out, but I’m not clamouring for it either. The movie will do well in theatres which means there will be money to go buck wild with the bonus features on the DVD, and there are plenty of avenues to explore. I can see lots of great potential in everything from featurettes on animation and history to games for the kids. If it’s a nice set and the price is right, this museum might be worth revisiting.

Featuring: Jumanji - I get a big Jumanji vibe from Night at the Museum. I’m not sure if it’s because of the animal stampedes, the inventive sense of fun, or just the fact that Robin Williams is spot on in both films, but Jumanji and Museum are definitely two family adventures cut from the same cloth.

Jumanji was a great story about 4 people trapped at the will of a magical game. It was one of those films that would set a child’s imagination on fire and do the same for most adults. Looking back there are some animation problems (a limitation of the time) but the story still holds as a fun, family friendly escape. Last year the similar themed Zathura came out and was a fantastic combination of story, heart and special effects. Even though it was the same concept, they brought enough to the table to make “Space Jumanji” worth a viewing.

Joe: In the spirit of the holidays I thought it might be fun to get a little perspective from someone who knows something about this time of year. I’m honoured to have Jesutron here all week long to share his thoughts on this weekend’s big releases. Take it away Jesutron!

Jesutron: I want to be mad at this movie for it’s blasphemy and pagan magical parlor tricks, but… I just can’t stay mad at Ben Stiller. You’ve warmed my heart you furry little monster and I demand more! God, I must have seen There’s Something About Mary 15 times. I got so mad at Brett Farve for almost stealing Mary away at the end of that movie, that I cursed his career forever. Go Saints!

There were times in the film where I became frustrated. Ben would get into trouble and I would think, “Why doesn’t he just transform into a plane and fly out of there!?” But the movie teaches us that not all of our problems can be solved by changing into heavy machinery and running away.

A Night at the Museum doesn’t have as many laughs or balls caught in zippers as I’d like, but I still give it 2 halos up!

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (Teaser Trailer) - I had a lot of fun with Night at the Museum, but in all honesty there’s a lot of the first 5 minutes that is a little foggy. It took that long for the movie to register because I was still reeling form the new teaser for the upcoming Fantastic Four sequel.

I have a love/hate relationship with the original Fantastic Four film. Love the comic, hated the movie in the theater, liked it on DVD, was indifferent to it on HBO a few months back and have eventually come to accept it for what it is. I own it, and I don't regret that. But if the movie did one thing, it set my expectations of the future of the franchise securely at ZERO.

So the Marvel logo comes up during the previews and I expect the trailer for Ghost Rider. No... That’s not it. There’s a wedding going on. Spider Man 3? No, they just showed that a couple of trailers back. Oh, it's Fantastic Four 2. Ok. The teaser starts off simply enough, showing Sue and Reed getting married, quickly flashing at the rest of the four including the Thing in a tux, just for those who weren't sure what movie they were looking at. Then in the distance... a silver streak.

At this point I think that it's a nice teaser and it's got me excited but not freaked out for the movie, and I expect the Fantastic Four logo to come up and the trailer to end. It’s a teaser after all. Then everyone at the rooftop wedding sees the streak as it passes slightly closer. Reed turns to Johnny and says his name signaling him to pursue the situation. Then I lean forward in my chair and make sure my glasses are on straight because they're about to do what I thought was at least months away. They're going to show the Silver Surfer.

FLAME ON! Johnny leaps off the building and takes off after the streak following him over Manhattan, through the Lincoln Tunnel and across Northern Jersey. He moves fast but you get a clear shot of the Silver Surfer in all his glory and in numerous awesome poses. Including upside-down, which got an enthusiastic "WOO" out of the crowd.

The chase comes to an end and finishes on a fantastic image that just blew me away. They did a great job and were able to, in 120 seconds worth of film, create something far cooler than all of the cool moments in the first film combined. As far as teaser trailers, from this week, go, it looks like Transformers might have to wait until the 5th. This teaser has awakened the geek in me. SNIKT!

So I’ve been getting into the world of pod casts lately, and I’m excited about it. I can’t decide if I’m excited about it as a way to build the site and get in better contact with the readers, or if I’m just excited about it because it’s fun. I guess there’s nothing wrong with it being both but either way I should be promoting it more.

Digital Pimp is officially jumping in to a weekly pod cast where we’ll discuss our strips, answer questions, and just talk about what’s going on in our lives. We had a trial run this past weekend which you can plug into your RSS feed with this code, and listen to. Also on that feed is a show from last Wednesday which you can also listen to directly through Talkshoe For those first two it was just me and Phil, and a couple of nice callers, but in the future you’ll also be hearing from the other Pimps Kevin and Irv, as well as… I hope… you guys! It’ll be a live pod cast every week so we’ll be able to take calls and chat with the listeners in real time! I encourage all of you to check it out.

The tentative weekly show time is Wednesdays at 10 pm Eastern Standard Time. It’s the best chance to review the comics that have already come, and hype what’s scheduled to fill out the rest of the week. Plus, there’s nothing good on TV then. Until Lost comes back. I hope you guys are into this, and if you are, please stop by and check it out.

In addition to that I’ll also be co-hosting a pod cast with Tom Brazelton on a weekly schedule sometime in the New Year. It’ll be more movie-themed but expect it to get a little wacky too. You can check out Tom’s first three shows, the most recent one I actually participated in. It was crazy, but tons of fun.

It’s a new age of technology and it’s very exciting. Hope to hear you soon.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

pimptour
@pimptour
@SCORPDLM @joedunn721 Did I say days? I meant weeks (months?). Sorry about that but they're available in the store... https://t.co/yw3fNlT8PK
26 Sep 2022
Joe Dunn
@joedunn721
@dernjg hahaha! You say that now but when I need you, baby... you're never there.
07 Oct 2022
Irv Fabor
@irvfabor
When your away from a spot where you built a rapport with the bartender and you're away for three weeks and once yo... https://t.co/VpJqiTWoZV
16 Sep 2022
Kevin Gleason
@retail_rage
@joedunn721 Unbelievable how many steps back we are taking.
23 Jul 2022