Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
This comic, about a movie that is barely in production, is only relevant now because the director that is attached to it is Edgar Wright, the man who helmed the cult classic Shuan of the Dead and this weeks hysterical release Hot Fuzz. Rumors of his involvement in Marvel Comics’ Ant-Man project have been buzzing for a few months now, and even though the credit is listed at IMDB, the job has been named his by Marvel, and involvement has been confirmed by the man himself in interviews across the web, I still call it a rumor because it’s so early.
There’s plenty of time for things to go wrong especially in a movie where you have one director that has had such success translating his own vision and you have a company that is going to have a tight reign on how far they’ll let him go with one of their babies. Thankfully Ant-Man isn’t one of their favorite kids. Certainly not in the same league as their doctor son Spider-Man and football star X-men. So because there’s less pressure there’s a lot more room for Wright to play with the character and interpret him in his own way. This gives me some hope because the last time Marvel translated an unknown character with Blade we got something that was completely different than the source, but totally enjoyable on its own. Wright will more than likely be able to do anything he wants as long as he stays under budget and under “R”.
Keeping it cheap and family friendly are benefits for the character as well as the size-shifting, ant-communicating superhero has become a campy character in recent years as opposed to the rigid, “life or death” heroes that we’re used to seeing on screen. I love those guys but Ant-Man will be a breath of fresh air by comparison, and based on what Wright has been able to do with injecting humor into genres where there is normally little to none, it’ll be a blast to see him tackle the superhero world.
I’m not sure why I was so compelled to do this comic. When I saw that the “shortcut” gag was used in both Shaun and Hot Fuzz, I couldn’t help but imagine a little Ant-Man following suit. Of course true comic fans will be quick to point out that Ant-Man could grow to normal size, call a band of Ants to use as a ladder, or call some other bug to fly him across the fence, but how is any of that funny? I hope that Wright is able to come up with some really clever “size humor” that doesn’t rely on sight gags or illogical situation, but to go into a movie like Ant-Man not expecting something a short gag or two would be a mistake.
Just the quick entry for today guys. More movie reviews and comics coming up soon! In the meanwhile be sure to check out the latest Turtle vs. Bunny update today and Matriculated on Wednesday. And if you’re aching to hear my thoughts on Hot Fuzz before the review comes out, you can download the latest episode of Triple Feature where Gordon and I tried very hard to discuss the brilliant film without going too deep into spoilers. That’s a very fine line isn’t it?
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V