Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Starring: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Timothy Spall, Idina Menzel, Susan Sarandon, Rachel Covey
Directed by: Kevin Lima
Walt Disney pictures
The Official Site of Enchanted
Living in the forest and singing songs with stray animals about kissing doesnï¿½t sound like a safe way for a young lady to live. Unless of course sheï¿½s a cartoon and slowly going crazy waiting for her prince to come. In Enchanted, just as sanity and true love are within her grasp, Giselle (The picture perfect cartoon version of Amy Adams) is pushed into a mysterious well by a power hungry Queen. Nothing odd there. Old lady attacks are as common as talking animals in the typical development of any Disney cartoon. That is until we find out that the bottom of that well opens up to a manhole on 42nd street in real world New York City. Suddenly this perfect princess finds herself over dressed, over styled, and way to nice for the environment sheï¿½s landed in. (Iï¿½m a New Yorker, I can say that. Most of us are kinda jerks)
Other than the shoving and the falling and whatnot, Enchanted is every little girls dream come true. A real life princess with the hundred-dollar hairdo and glitter to match. But somehow that appeal branched out to include 50 million dollars worth of box office in its opening holiday weekend.
All of that canï¿½t be daydreaming, would-be princesses or even the collective boyfriends, husbands, and fathers dragged along. Thereï¿½s something to this movie that takes its appeal beyond puffy dresses and prince charming. Really thereï¿½s a lot to choose from. Enchanted is a romance, a comedy, a musical, an animated childrenï¿½s feature, with recognizable talent and enough other little clicks to round out a nice opening take. But if any of you are like me, the real draw is the concept.
The idea of cartoons crossing over into the real world is a unique enough idea to attract a lot of people that may not necessarily be the target of any of the genres above. I think some of us just want to see how theyï¿½ll pull it off or if theyï¿½ll pull it off at all. Same thing with Like Beowulf last week. The curiosity factor is high enough to draw in the stragglers.
Itï¿½s barely worth it though. The fancy premise is just a jumping off point for a fish-out-of-water adventure. Weï¿½ve seen this story before but the concept is unique enough to fool us into thinking itï¿½s brand new. I donï¿½t feel like Iï¿½ve been suckered out of my ten bucks or anything, but I do feel like they let an interesting concept act as nothing but an introduction.
The one lasting characteristic of the idea that got me in there is the characters that cross between the two worlds. Even in our universe they follow their own fairytale rules. Poison apples, Aquaman level influence of animals, talking to old ladies in reflective surfaces, and singing. Endless singing. Big, choreographed, harmonized productions like the sore thumb from Clerks II except, you know - fitting.
The lead crossover animated characters, Adams and her tireless hero in search of her (brilliantly played by James Marsden) really commit to being these prince and princess types. Super confident, ideal, optimisticï¿½ essentially crazy people on our end of the manhole. If they werenï¿½t both so believable as fictional fairy tale characters then thereï¿½s no way this movie would have worked at all. In the real world Giselle is taken in by Patrick Dempseyï¿½s character whoï¿½s half-glass-empty mentality clashing with her cheerfulness offers the most sincere connections of the film. Predictably she teaches him how to let loose and he teaches her that thereï¿½s more to life than ï¿½happily ever afterï¿½, but it is interesting seeing these two extremes whittle away into common ground. Itï¿½s a well-told fairytale.
Still, I longed for more animation. Especially since it was done so well. The old school 2D style used here was Brother Beared out of existence when companies like Pixar and Dreamworks came along to reinvent the way cartoons are made. Seeing the classic style on the big screen again was a welcome treat for this little boy that was raised on Aladdin. The look is sharp and crisp. Itï¿½s the timeless Disney style with a modern facelift and some Art Nouveau influences. It was a fresh look that fit in nicely with the classic Disney flair. Whatï¿½s more, the characterization is dead on. Wildly stylized but recognizable at the same time. When you think of Susan Sarandon, ï¿½iron jawï¿½ isnï¿½t what immediately comes to mind, but somehow, itï¿½s her.
I find that appealing, and there truly is something for everyone in Enchanted, but family fun wins out as the movie fizzles into a sweet but predictable conclusion. I wish I could say that the clever concepts continued beyond the unique set-up but the movie turns into sing-a-long musical numbers and princess shopping sprees instead. Itï¿½s the classic Disney formula, and while it may not be ground breaking, itï¿½s working just fine. Iï¿½m still whistling that damn ï¿½first kissï¿½ song.
Rating: 7 out of 10 - Enchanted is an entertaining and refreshing adventure worthy of all its success. Parents should feel comfortable bringing even the youngsters to the theater even though there seemed to be a very specific point where they all got bored and started stomping their feet. Recovery was quick but there was definitely a moment where the story lost its youngest of audience members.
Still, it is great to see this movie really take off and find a crowd to embrace it. Iï¿½m so happy for Amy Adams who has really come into her own here and finally found a role that will endear her to the masses. Sheï¿½s been buzzing around Hollywood for years most notably in projects like Talladega Nights, Junebug and The Office, but with Enchanted sheï¿½s finally become a star, and I canï¿½t wait to see her again. Sheï¿½s come a long way since The Skulls II.
Things were looking good but the answer is no, and I can tell you exactly why. The ï¿½clean the houseï¿½ sequence when Giselle wakes up in Robertï¿½s apartment. Really itï¿½s one of the more clever sequences in the movie because, when a princess summons nearby creatures in New York City to help with some light house work, what else would you expect to show up but rats, pigeons and cockroaches. Clever, accurate, and disgusting enough for Yeo to lay the DVD veto down on it. Thereï¿½s so much to enjoy throughout the film but I know sheï¿½ll never be able to get past vermin scrubbing the tub.
This joke is a dead fish unless youï¿½ve read a few strips back in JLCM. Check out the strips for Beouwulf and Beouwulf 3-D and youï¿½ll be up to speed.
Sorry about that though. With each comic being dedicated to a specific movie itï¿½s really hard to develop long running jokes because in theory, each comic should be a stand-alone joke. Each comic should be a jumping on point for new readers. I appreciate that for what it is but part of me craves the luxury of the slow burn. No worries though, Iï¿½ll try to make it a rare occurrence.
27 Dresses - letï¿½s watch as Katherine Heigl reaps the rewards of Knocked Upï¿½s success in her first solo headlining romantic comedy 27 Dresses. Itï¿½s the story of a woman thatï¿½s always a brideï¿½s maid and never a bride. Always as in ï¿½27 dressesï¿½ worth of times.
Heigl is making her bid for Americaï¿½s Sweetheart, but sheï¿½s not doing it alone. Relaible support like Malin Akerman, Edward Burns and Judy Greer are waiting in the eings. Not to mention Enchantedï¿½s very own James Marsden who, after years of playing the perfect guy that never gets the girl in movies like The Notebook, Superman Returns and X-Men, is finally lining up to play leading man!
Iï¿½ve been a fan Marsden since Disturbing Behavior, and even more so after his all-out offering here in Enchanted. Itï¿½s exciting to see his career take this big leap.
Want to hear more about Enchanted? Be sure to tune in tonight at 10PM EST to listen to the Triple Feature where Gordon, Tom and I will be talking about it at length. And if youï¿½d like to ad your 2 cents, listen in live where weï¿½ll be taking calls and questions from the live chat!
Thatï¿½s all for now guys but Iï¿½m gearing up for the other major releases over Thanksgiving including Hitman and The Mist, not to mention the DVD release of my favorite comedy of the yearï¿½ more soon! Thanks so much for reading!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V