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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

What Happens in Vegas

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Jason Sudeikis, Treat Williams, Michelle Krusiec, Dennis Farina, Zach Galifianakis, Queen Latifah, Dennis Miller

Directed by: Michael McCull

Universal Pictures

The Official Site of What Happens in Vegas

Discuss What Happens in Vegas on the boards!

“Cameron and Ashton” the poster proudly presents, as if we were that informal with people this famous, this rich or this good looking. How presumptuous of them to sell a romantic comedy on a first name basis. Are Cameron and Ashton really so big that their first names could sell any movie let alone one as stripped down and predictable as What Happens in Vegas, an odd couple, will-they-or-won’t-they romance that any of us could have written because we’ve seen it so many times before? It’s not as if the words “Cameron”, “Ashton” and “Romantic Comedy” are a match made in heaven. I mean they’re Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks for Christ’s sake.

What Happens in Vegas is certainly not Sleepless in Seattle or even You’ve Got Mail though it is light years beyond Joe Versus the Volcano. Most movies are. While few movies are that bad, fewer movies can be expected to work as well as the Hanks/Ryan classics, so comparing Vegas is unfair. If anything its stars have slightly more original first names. You could never sell the “Tom and Meg” romantic comedy. Or could you?

“Cameron and Ashton” sold just fine last weekend in a summer that seems to be doing a respectable bit of business on counter programming. Audiences came out in droves to see the story of two unlikely newlyweds fighting over a big Vegas jackpot – it was her quarter, he played it and judge Dennis Miller decided the best way to split it up the winnings was to have the two suffer through 6 months of marriage. Can a judge even do that in the real world?

Whether they can or not, the unlikely premise lends well towards this wacky “opposites attract” comedy that actually ended up impressing me. There are few real surprises but the movie is genuinely funny and very sweet even with the less than loving set-up. I think Vegas ultimately works because of its stars who are good enough here to have their full names put on the advertising.

The first name thing isn’t really such a big deal, it just sort of took me off guard, like, “Are we really there with these two?” We might be. How many Ashton’s do you know? Chances are, with or without his perfect smile and $200 dollar haircut staring oyu in the face you would have known whom they were talking about, and while the movie world boasts a few notable Cameron’s (Crowe, James), few of them have made a movie worth mentioning in the past 5 years. And I doubt those other two were ever a desktop wallpaper on your computer before. I’m looking at you perv.

What’s more is that the pair is great together. There’s a chemistry there that works whether the pair is bickering like an old married couple or falling for each other against better instincts. That buried spark telling us that there might eventually be something to this relationship (Yeah, they got together in your version of the script too. That’s how predictable we all are.) was handled, I though, very well. A lot of the time you’ll get a romantic comedy pair that can be friends or lovers but not both. I didn’t expect either from Cameron and Ashton and I got a pretty solid display of both. I bought that they were falling for each other against their will, because I was experiencing something very similar reaction with the whole movie.

As much as that has to do with the stars, you also have to credit the supporting cast and the casting director, who apparently is my dream journal. Jason Sudeikis, Zach Galifianakis and less Greek sounding names like Queen Latifah, Dennis Farina, and Lake Bell take turns stealing the show. Even a welcomed blast form the past in Michelle Krusiec who was one of the stars of a show called One World was a delight to see. One World was one of those “NBC Teen” sitcoms that ran on Saturday mornings before Saved by the Bell: The New Class. Yeo and I lived on those old T-NBC canned comedies when we were to poor for beer and cable. What’s sad is that they only made 39 episodes of One World which means that, collectively, I’ve probably spent more time watching One World than Krusiec spent making it.

The real gem in the cast though is Rob Corddry who, after a few years in forgettable supporting roles on the silver screen, managed to wrack up two solid performances worth remembering in the past month with Vegas and Harold and Kumar 2. Between the two Corddry has reminded us of that loveable sarcastic jackass we fell in love with on the Daily Show, and now I want more. In Vegas, the majority of the cast is there to push things along but Corddry roams free, acting the fool and bringing some well deserved and well needed laughs.

Corddry probably won’t be on a first name basis with romantic comedy crowds anytime soon but it seems I may have underestimated Ashton and Cameron as the new “it” romantic comedy pairing. Wheter it should or should - the match up works. It’s no Hanks/Ryan but Cameron/Ashton is certainly somewhere between McConaughey/Hudson and Cusack/Piven

Rating: 7 out of 10 - It’s been a light year for romantic comedies but the two most predictable ones have proven to be the best. Vegas and 27 Dresses stuck to what works, but made sure to do it well. Great performances, believable characters and sincere laughs made these two movies work where they otherwise wouldn’t have. With a wide variety of movies playing in theaters now Vegas isn’t your best option out there, but it is a safe one.

I don’t think that my wife would actually let me buy this even if I wanted to. She’d hit me with a rolled up newspaper and screech something about, “IT’LL BE BETTER ON TV” and I’d scurry out of Best Buy with my tail between my legs. Even if Yeo were all about it, Vegas doesn’t belong in a DVD collection. It’s charming and enjoyable the first run through but charm fades. Even You’ve Got Mail gets boring when you watch it too often. Vegas is a hit. Just wait until TBS is running it around the clock and spend the extra dough on something with more longevity… like Robocop

Robocop - Jesus, it has been forever since I’ve seen Robocop.

Swing Vote - Every time that Kevin Costner shows up in a movie where he’s not playing baseball or wearing a cowboy hat I get excited. I like Costner. I’m rooting for his success, and as much as I like the movies that made him a star in the first place, dipping back into the same old well is no way to win the country back. So when a movie like Swing Vote pops up and it looks so fresh, so fun, and it actually stars Costner… I get a little excited.

People forget that Costner is good. They remember the misfires like Waterworld and The Postman, and forget how amazing he’s been in… well, in the baseball and cowboy movies.

In swing vote, Costner plays a blue collar slacker who finds himself at the center of world’s eye when it turns out his vote will decide the winner of the next Presidential race. It’s one of those scenarios that could only happen in the movies but you’re willing to forgive it because it’s delivered with a lot of style and an amazing cast. The whole trailer gives off a Thank You For Smoking vibe that is impossible to resist. Here’s hoping it follows through with the same level of quality. Costner could use the hit, that’s for sure.

I’ve stopped wearing my hat. You know, that blue hat with the red trim that I wear in 90% of the JLCM comics? That thing is for real. It actually exists and I actually wear it. Until recently anyway. I went out without it a few times and saw how awesome my hear is and decided that I could no longer hide that from the world.

Well apparently Jon Scrivens stole it. He sent me an e-mail with one of his characters wearing it in the latest strip for his great zombie comic Little Terrors. If the hat makes its way over to your comic send me an email and I’ll give you a proper shout out.

That’s it for now folks, but I’ll have some Narnia coverage up by Monday. If you saw the movie, let us know what you though over on the boards!

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V