Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Elizabeth Banks, Gabrielle Union, Scott Caan, Ed Helms, Kevin Hart, Mike O'Malley, Pat Kilbane, Judah Friedlander, Austyn Myers
Directed by: Brian Robbins
Twentieth Century Fox
The Official Site of Meet Dave
Discuss Meet Dave on the boards!
I know – the last thing you expected/wanted to see here on the Monday after the release of a movie like The Dark Knight was a comic and review for the latest “what the hell happened to Eddie Murphy” movie release. I’m just as excited about The Dark Knight as all of you, have enjoyed my long weekend of reflection and debate (beware the spoilers), but I don’t want to rush into the review. I found that as soon as I got home from the film I was praising it… perhaps a little too much. By Sunday I had a whole new take on it and I’d like for that to be reflected in the finished review.
I’m seeing the movie a second time this afternoon with a group of friends, one of which happens to be a huge Joker fan, so by the end of the movie/round-table lunch discussion at which we will pick the film apart, I should be a lot clearer in my thoughts on this truly impressive movie.. So, again – sorry that all that awaited you here today was something less than what you might have expected. By midnight tonight The Dark Knight stuff will be up.
At some point in the 90’s the multi-part, heavy make-up, outrageous concept movie’s from Eddie Murphy lost their appeal. The Klump movies were funny and I could go on and on for days about how much I love the clever sting of Bowfinger, but between the talking animal movies, the buddy cop movies, and whatever the hell Holy Man was supposed to be, I was starting to accept that Eddie Murphy would cash out his days in Shrek sequels.
Wouldn’t it be grand if his latest film, Meet Dave, a family friendly adventure about a crew of tiny aliens that travel to Earth on a ship that looks like Eddie Murphy, was his triumphant return? After last year’s career reboot head-fake with two huge movies at drastically different ends of the quality spectrum (Norbit, Dreamgirls), one so bad and one so good that the negative buzz from the first stole the Oscar nomination from the second, I don’t think anyone honestly believed that “Honey I Shrunk the Aliens” would be anything other than a reason to run back to the DreamWorks sound both. But here’s the thing – Meet Dave isn’t bad. It was actually kind of fun. Seriously.
The premise is kind of goofy and that stinging clever comedy I was talking about enjoying so much in Bowfinger is as alien to Meet Dave as its tiny little stars, but if you’re willing to enjoy the movie for what it is and not compare it to Murphy’s glory days then there’s a lot to enjoy here. Not necessarily enough to make it competitive in a crowded summer of really cool movies, but if you waited in line for the Dark Knight watching tumbleweeds roll out of the Meet Dave theater, then you already knew as much.
In the film Murphy plays the ship (named Dave during an awkward but entertaining exchange) and the miniature captain that controls it. They’ve come to Earth to retrieve a small orb that was found and cherished by a boy in New York City. The crew finds the rock pretty quickly, courtesy of a run in with the boys mother (the always wonderful Elizabeth Banks) but also finds that their short time around the expressive and opinionated humans of the planet has had a major effect on their normally stiff and rigid behavior. It’s one of those “they learn something about themselves in the process” kind of movies with a little “just because your small doesn’t mean you can’t do big things” thrown in for good measure. Nice messages, not overdone.
With the introduction of the characters and the reveal of the aliens I admit I was a little bored. I was a little bothered being there, but things really pick up once Dave hits the streets.
The fish out of water laughs that come along with the aliens adapting themselves and their spaceship to life on Earth is where this movie will win you back. Murphy goes big with it. Not a lot of people can pull off the fake smiles and colon humor that goes hand-in-hand with a movie like this. Not a lot of people can still make trying on a sweater for the first time a memorable movie moment, but Murphy shows us why he was, at one time, kind of a big deal.
I’d like to think he still is, but Meet Dave isn’t going to convince anyone of that. It’s a step in the right direction though.
Rating: 6 out of 10 - After 2 weeks in theaters Meet Dave hasn’t scratched the 10 million dollar mark and has already dropped out of the top ten movies in the country. Not good news for its 60 million dollar budget. It’s not as devastating as that whole Pluto Nash disaster but I’m sure it’ll draw some comparisons.
It’s not like they weren’t promoting the thing either. Check out this giant-sized Murphy head parked in times square for the kids to climb on, take pictures with and then wonder forever what the hell it was supposed to be exactly, because there’s no way their parents actually took them to see the film. Giant heads like this were even seen on the back of trucks driving around California. As it stands though, the probably spent more on gas promoting the movie than it actually made in its per-screen average this past weekend.
Nope. Not for me. I certainly enjoyed it for what it is but I’ve had my fill. I’ll just look forward to Murphy’s next movie hoping it’ll be the one to bring him back! Good luck “Nowhereland”! (Nowhereland synopsis - A financial executive (Murphy) who can't stop his career downspiral is invited into his daughter's imaginary world, where solutions to his problems await.) Oh well… maybe the one after next will be the one.
I don’t know if you could tell but I’m kind of an Eddie Murphy fan. At the very least I certainly respect the man. It feels though like he’s been in a slump for so long. Even with the Shrek films doing so well, and the really great turn in Dreamgirls it feels like Murphy has steadily been losing his grip as one of the funniest people on the planet. I would love to see him abandon the multiple parts thing for a few years, even if it means we have to see things like Beverly Hills Cop 4 and 48 hrs. Later: Cates Goes Crazy come to fruition. Today’s comic shows how excited I am at the prospect of a new Eddie Murphy movie, and how bummed out I get when I find out he’s pulling double duty.
He and Mike Myers should make a movie where they both play all of their collected characters… and they just fight. Whoever wins gets to keep making movies like this for another 5 years. The other has to actually try and rebuild their career working with other people.
In fact, why don’t we make that the new vote incentive image. Then after you do that, head over to the boards to see the archived incentive images!.
Vote now to see Eddie Murphy vs. Mike Myers!
Well I hope that wasn’t too painful. I’m looking forward to getting into The Dark Knight but I want to do it with a clear head. A second time through is the best way to get a true reaction. In the meanwhile I hope you did enjoy today’s update, and if you need more then please head over to Turtlevsbunny.com where I’ll be updating every single day this week!
For the past few months Turtle vs bunny: Distractions has been on a MWF schedule but while drawing this battle between Penguin and ninja on Friday afternoon I realized it just wasn’t epic enough. Part of the reason I got excited about this series in the first place was because of the opportunity to have cute animals beat the tar out of each other, so I decided to run with it a little. Now everyday this week you’ll be able to see this battle unfold! Penguin vs ninja at Turtle vs. Bunny! Okay, that sounds ridiculous but check it out anyway. Thanks for reading!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V