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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Must Love Dogs

Released: 7/30/05

Viewed: 7:30:pm 7/16/05

Starring: Diane Lane. John Cusack, Christopher Plummer, Dermot Mulroney, Elizabeth Perkins

Directed by: Gary David Goldberg

On the surface Must Love Dogs is not my kind of movie. That's not to say I don't enjoy a good romantic comedy from time to time, but to get me to pay the money modern day movies costs, there has to be something special that indicates the possibility that it's more then just hearts and giggles. I'm aware of Diane Lane, but not familiar with her work first hand. From my lowbrow comedy, high-octane action movie perspective I see her as the current spokes woman for older women rebelling against failed love, as they find out who they "really" are in the process. I have nothing against that, but it doesn't exactly call out to me.

Enter John Cusack. Cusack rules, plain and simple. Over the past 20 years he's acted in some of the movies that have become all time favorites of mine. With his history in romantic comedy, picking roles that were not typical romantic fluff (Say Anything, High Fidelity, Grosse Point Blank ? yeah it's a romantic comedy) I was given a burst of faith that this movie might actually be worth a viewing. And it was.

Must Love Dogs is the movie for the middle-aged divorced crowd looking to figure out what's next. It's a question I'm sure millions of people face. What do you do when your life changes so unexpectedly? There's a few ways it could have gone. It's a comedy so we get expected moments like the montage of horrible dates, or the over protective family trying to fix her up with anyone and everyone. As clich?d as it was I still laughed throughout it. The movie has the sincerity to pull it off.

At no point does the movie slow down or loose focus. Constantly we're introduced to new characters that are interesting and entertaining in their own way. And that's great. It keeps you on your toes. "Whose that dude? How much or little will he fit into all of this?" They create a nice little cast and wisely bring them back in at the appropriate moments. In that aspect of craftsmanship, the story is really quite charming.

One of the most welcomed actors popping up throughout the film is Christopher Plummer. There's something about him. It's like everything he says is earth shatteringly important. He's the type of guy that reads a poem out loud, and makes you understand it better then you did before. Even if you didn't think it was possible. My favorite non-comedic scene in the movie was between Plummer and Cusack, as they discuss art and love. It's very casual and light, but between Plummer's presence, and Cusack's cool the scene jumps right of the screen and burns itself into your memory.

Like most romantic comedies it focuses a bit too much on the romance. It's pushed too much to the forefront, and things like daily life and jobs are given a back seat, even though work is what people do all day. We're given glimpses of career, but all the characters treat it as if it doesn't affect the rest of their life. Wouldn't it be nice if that were true? It's as if romance is paying the rent. A failed boat maker can't be eating well if the only thing he does is watch Dr. Zhivago all day long.

And the template for Romantic comedies begins to develop. The man that she's fallen for does her wrong and she's thrust back to the waiting arms of prince charming. Wouldn't it be more realistic if instead of the guy being a jerk, he just weren't what she really wanted? It seemed to easy an out to just make the guy uncharacteristically switchgears so fast. I guess guys are after one thing.

Overall this is the best (only) romantic film of the summer. But in all seriousness, if you're looking for something casual that you and you're loved one can enjoy together, without getting wrapped up in emotional baggage ? this movie is perfect. It's easy, and fast, and funny (the mad dash for condoms is a classic moment).

As a romantic comedy it's one of the best I've seen in months. It doesn't have the time travel excitement of Kate & Leopold or the spontaneous dancing of From Justin to Kelly but it's still pretty good. I would rate it easily an 8, strictly as a romantic comedy. As a movie I would give it 6.5 out of 10. Very enjoyable, but it's not life changing or thrilling. It is what it is. A fantastically entertaining romance.

DVD worthy?: ?ehhhhhh?. Maybe. In terms of Cusack films it's not the best. But movies like High Fidelity and Grosse Point Blank spoke to me on completely different levels. Those were romantic comedies that had so much more going on. I can appreciated love when it's surrounded by hit men and 80's music.

If you liked this movie check out : Serendipity

With Serendipity you get the same level of romance and the same sort of cast that appear and revolve in and out. Still, it's not the same kind of movie as Must Love Dogs because it's not a search to find love. Well I guess it is, but in a much more literal sense. Regardless, it's a great movie that should be seen.

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

Joe Dunn
@joedunn721
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Irv Fabor
@irvfabor
I'm included in a lot of group text but I hardly respond, this is due to me not wanting everyone to know my busines... https://t.co/l7gtJYP0Fu
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