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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Hustle and Flow

Released: 7/22/05

Viewed: 12:15:pm 8/18/05

Starring: Terrence Howard, Anthony Anderson, DJ Qualls, Ludacris, Taraji P. Henson, Taryn Manning

Directed by: Craig Brewer

Terrence Howard. That's all you need to know. He got attached to Hustle and Flow early, fought hard in the battle to get it made, and it paid off. Because he didn't drop the ball. Funding was found. Big name support (John Singleton) believed in it and made it happened. And when it came time to play ? Terrence Howard brought everything he had and gave a performance that won't soon be forgotten. In the process he gave life to a real pimp like we never could have imagined. No stereotypes, no clich?s. Just a man that took the wrong path and has finally realized it.

The story switches gears to the message of following your dreams and doing whatever it takes to make those dreams a reality. WHATEVER it takes. It's real and unapologetic, but not as gritty as you would expect. You're on pins and needles waiting for him to bitch slap one of his hoes. But they never really go there. Drug use is implied, but never really abusively. See, I've been wondering if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

The movie is extremely entertaining but is still missing some serious tension. Sure, there's plenty of drama. The characters have their problems to overcome, but at no point in the set up of the film do you feel like overcoming these problems is unrealistic. You watch them struggling, but the obstacles aren't HUGE. You walk in expecting drug abuse and gang wars, but what you get is a crying baby and an uppity ho.

At one point they're ready to record but a neighbor is blasting music. Howard's character D-Jay goes over to confront him. Quickly you find out there is a bad history between them. It's tense. You start to expect the worst. He gives him a bag of weed and asks him nicely to turn it down. And he does. ? Am I missing something?

So here's my conflict: what happened in the movie is what would most likely actually happen in real life. People that do drugs aren't always addicted to drugs. People that break laws aren't necessarily ignorant and worthless. But would it have made the movie better if he went over to this guys house and beat him up? It may have had an impact on me, but I'm realizing that the way it was handled was a real brave way to go. To depict the world as it is, is risky, because real life is boring, but in the long run it really fits with this movie.

Still it never gets under your skin the way you would like. You don't worry as much? until the last 35 minutes. At the climax of the movie the unexpected. Actually looking back it's not as unexpected as I originally though. It's realistic. I don't want to go into spoilers, because it's a pretty decent sequence. But what goes down is very believable and at that moment is when you will feel the most connected to the movie.

To say though, that this movie is extremely entertaining is a surprised. I mean, I expected to like it. The buzz was too strong, but if you analyze the movie then you see that not much happens. And for a movie this long, to be this entertaining from start to finish, is a true testament to the talent behind it. To do so much with nothing is pretty damn cool.

The most disturbingly real moment of the movie has nothing to do with hooking or a dirty underground music scene. It's easily the nasty-ass strip club. Big respect to the woman that made the clapping sound with just her ass? but overall ? ew.

Great performances throughout. And huge props to the producers that allowed this movie to get made when the biggest names on the list were Anthony Anderson and DJ Qualls. I love them both, and they both have great turns here, but neither is A list. Neither is seat filler. Even though I did see King's Ransom and The New Guy in the theater. I have to mention Taryn Manning who I'm not a big fan of. I'm not sure why. She did this show Get Real where I thought she was really cute, but then she lost the appeal. Did she go out with Eminem? Why an I thinking that? Anyway, she won me over here. Even though her hair was crazy and her accent was ?well, I'm sure it was authentic, but it was not appealing. It's like ? you know how Holly Hunter has that real sexy southern accent? Well it's nothing like that. But she's got a couple of scenes here where she really breaks it down and gets you on her side. By the end of the movie you're definitely routing for this aimless hooker with a heart of gold.

My favorite performances were Manning's, seriously he shows up and just takes control, and Taraji P. Henson who plays one of D-Jay's ladies. Her performance is so soft and delicate. You get the feeling she could shatter at any second. That kind of vulnerability can't be easy to do. The reason I'm singling these two out is because I recently saw both in Singleton's Four Brother's where they played COMPLETELY different people. It's the benefit of seeing both films within a week of each other, but it gave me chance to really see the range. Howard has hit and will be a big player in the next couple years. Henson is on the brink, and if Hustle and Flow gets her the supporting Oscar nod she deserves, then she could be the next Halley Berry.

They could have cast Ja Rule and Ashanti in the lead roles and got this thing made in two second. Probably would have made a ton of cash too. But it would have sucked so hard.

I've gone on and on about the acting, but for me, at least in this case, that was the driving force of the movie. It's a great story, and great film making, but spectacular acting.

8 out of 10 It's a powerful message of inspiration. You can do it, no matter what. If this rag tag group can, anyone can. It's plain and simple great filmmaking. Looks like it did a decent box office too. Hopefully it will find an even bigger home on DVD.

DVD worthy?: Well as much as I would love for people to see this movie, I wouldn't buy it. But more because it's not the type of movie you want to watch everyday. I would like to see it again, but it's the sort of thing where, I'll rent it when it comes out, and that'll be the end of it. Until I get that craving a couple of years later.

Trailer Hitch: Get Rich or Die Tryin'

That's right. The new movie staring 50 cent! I was surprised. It actually looks halfway decent. Sort of like 8 mile except with guns and perfectly shaped mustaches. Can 50 act? To soon to tell, but I'll be there to check it out. Why not, right? To see JLCM's official ho, simply cast your vote. and don't forget to check out my LiveJournal to see some of the badass JLCM feedback as well as my endless ranting about the comics, and everyday life. And I'll mention again The web comic list which is a cool site that caters to the fans. It's a nice set up and JLCM hasn't found its niche there yet. I'm curious if it can. If not - it's cool. But if you use the List, and like JLCM? let's make magic, baby.

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V