Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Oscar Picks 2008
This week on the Triple Feature, Gordon, Tom and I decided we should have our own little Oscar pool with the two losers doing guest strips for the one that wins. I don’t normally bet on award shows but I figured it would be a nice way to spice up what should probably be a predictable evening. How predictable you say? Well, here are my official Oscar Picks for 2008. The red circles are my choices to win and the blue circles are the picks for what I think should win. The actual process is so political these days that often who should win never does. I had to give credit where I felt it belonged but I still wanted to win the pool!
There were a few categories where I just had no idea. For those I went with the time-honored tradition of choosing “C”. Good Luck “Smile Pinki” in the Documentary Short category!
I thought though – let’s make things a little more interesting. Let’s have a JLCM Oscar Pool! Nothing serious, just post your picks and whichever one (1) has the most correct selections of the full Oscar list (seriously – everything) I’ll do a free sketch of you punching the Oscar nominee of your choice. But you have to beat everyone that enters, not just me. One (1) I’m only doing one. Seriously… ☺
Make your picks and post them on This thread of the boards or send them to me in a lovely e-mail. All posts that come in after 6pm EST on Sunday do not count (nice try though). Have some fun with it. Who knows, you might get a drawing of yourself punching Kate Winslet right in the breadbasket.
There’s a chance that I might actually miss the ceremony this year. Not a huge deal even though I was looking forward to Huge Jackman singing a song about Frost/Nixon. I’m going to be out of town doing family stuff but I do hope to sneak away and actually watch the big category stuff. Wish me luck.
This isn’t my official Slumdog Millionaire comic, it’s just an image I did for a new paper that I threw some dialogue on so I’d have something cool for this update. (I don’t love the dialogue. It’s cute… but it’s just not enough, you know? If I can think of something better I’ll change it.) I didn’t want to make this the official Slumdog comic though because I think I have a better Slumdog comic in me. For some reason I want to see King Leonidas trying to find his Queen by going on a game show, but a really terrible game show like Rock of Love: Love Bus. “King Leo, will you stay on this tour and continue to rock my world?” cut the Leo dressed like a skank screaming “LATIKA!!!” at the camera… …I’ll come up with something.
If you’d really like to read my thoughts on Slumdog though the review is done and posted up on the boards here. There will be a full comic and review soon.
And that is that. Love you guys. Thanks for reading!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V