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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.


Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne, Lara Robinson

Directed by: Alex Proyas

Summit Entetainment

The Official Site of Knowing

Discuss Knowing on the boards!

With Knowing, the new Alex Proyas (Dark City, I, Robot) numbers-fueled suspense film about the end of time, I thought I knew what I was walking into. Familiar themes, familiar visuals and familiar scenes of Nic Cage shouting like a madman into the cold night air all spelled for a predictable unraveling of events. To my astonish at nearly every turn Knowing was surprising me. From the brutal disaster sequences to the film’s gutsy finale there’s a lot to appreciate here, even if Rotten Tomatoes and our gut instincts are telling us something very different.

In Knowing Nic Cage plays a father and astrologist that comes across a sheet of numbers written and buried 50 years ago in a time capsule at his son’s school. Obsessing over the potential math puzzle he finds out that the numbers line up directly with disastrous events over the last 50 years and he begins following the remaining numbers toward future catastrophes. It’s a by-the-numbers plot (get it) featuring Cage as the educated but eccentric, unlikely hero that we’ve seen him play a dozen times before. But like the rest of the film… he’s got a few surprises.

Now, the film’s surprises aren’t surprises like the ones that change the story completely or where Bruce Willis is a ghost. I think everything that happens in the plot of Knowing is something that you will “see coming” to a degree. The surprises are more in how the film is executed. How they get from point A to point B, the severity of the disaster sequences, the quality of Cage’s new wig. That sort of thing.

That plane crash in particular was a real jolt to me. It was plastered all over the promotion for this film so I knew it was coming and I knew it would be their big special effects sequence and that it would look really sharp. It comes early on in the film and Proyas explains (in this Anatomy of a Scene over at /film that includes a portion of the video) that “it was essential to have one of the predictions come true early on in the story, something so real and so horrible that we could no longer ignore the list of numbers.” It is definitely that kind of wake up call.

It looks great as expected and is even more impressive when you see that it’s a gigantic special effects sequence shot in one take on a hand held camera (think Children of Men except with an exploding jet). What got me is how much they really show you in this as well as the other disaster sequences. They range from startling to intense to excessive to emotional. It truly was like watching a disaster, like watching people die right in front of you and it floored me. Complete shock, especially considering the previews alerted us to three of the four catastrophes.

I found the puzzle of the numbers and Cage’s quest to disprove then prevent the prophecies to be an interesting one, but this is not to say that the film is flawless. Dependably Cage offers up a few instances that should make those that love to hate him burst into a joyous laughter. Typical stuff really – a few awkward line readings, a scene where he attacks a tree with a baseball bat and of course the fishtailing of his Ford truck every which way in the last third of the film. I can understand being in a hurry but dude is all over the road! (Speaking of cars, no one closes their car door in this movie. It’s ridiculous. Even at the end of the world, my common reflexes would still have me shutting it tight and checking the locks.)

Knowing is a real treat. One of the best films and surprises of 2009 to be sure. You get the fundamentals of what you’d expect but the film delivers a finished product that is not nearly as predictable as its plot line.

Rating: 9 out of 10 - I’m hesitant to outright recommend this because I think a lot of people will go in with preconceived notions of what the film is supposed to be. We all like to rag on Cage a little but he’s found something real here and he ushers us through it well.

It’s a less obvious choice but I think Knowing is a real contender to end up in my DVD collection. A movie that makes you laugh or features a couple dozen high-adrenaline action sequences is easy to add to your collection but, even with its incredible disaster sequences, Knowing doesn’t come close to being either of those things. Even as a thinking piece, a film intended to make you use your head and view the world in different ways, it’s not especially interesting. …But it is a fun film. I was completely engaged by it and I would hope for the same at home.

I enjoy drawing Nic Cage. Some caricatures are more difficult than others but I find with Cage, as long as you get the pronounced laugh lines and the droopy eyes then it pretty much works. This is the third time I’ve drawn him since August, first in a Clone Wars strip and then for Bangkok Dangerous, and I think this is the best he’s looked. I can’t wait until his next movie comes out so I can try again! (He’s actually got a lot of stuff lined up for the next couple years. You can’t say the guy isn’t prolific. Next up is the adaptation of Mark Millar’s Kick-Ass about a teenager who decides to become a masked hero and… well all hell brakes loose.)

LOST - There are a ridiculous amount of parallels between Knowing and this brilliant TV series. From questions of Faith vs. Science to Predetermination vs. Randomness, to little black rocks, Knowing a film that asks the same questions as the creators of LOST.

Taking of the Pelham 123 - A lot of hubbub was made over this trailer when it first popped up online a couple of weeks ago. I think moist of the noise was coming from the fans of the original film starring Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw. (You can watch the full subway hostage masterpiece over at HULU.com.

I love that movie. I think it’s a really intense character study and that Matthau and Shaw really delivered. That’s not to say there’s nowhere else to go. It’s a new age and there’s so much more that can be done with the concept of a subway hostage situation. I’m not saying Denzel and Travolta are the best men for the job but I found the trailer to find an excellent balance between plot and action. If the movie can do the same and we get the performances we need from these two talented individuals then it might be worth it. Might. Either way we’ll always have the original.

I got interviewed by Russell from Newsarama and the results of that phone interview are now up. (Just follow that link) It’s mostly about Watchmen and the release of the JLCM book. I had such a great time talking to Russell, but I’m afraid that I totally come off nervous when transcribed. I wish I were a more eloquent speaker. Thanks to Newsarama and Russell for the props though!

Tonight on The Triple Feature we’ll be talking about Knowing (if the guys are up for it) but much more likely I Love You, Man which you can read my review for here.

That’s all for now but more tonight.

Joe Dunn's Facebook profile

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V