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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

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Star Trek is Coming

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Last week J.J. Abrams premiered his take on the Star Trek franchise in Sydney, Australia with a second screening surprising a crowd expecting to see Wrath of Kahn in Austin. Naturally reviews started pouring in and the early buzz around the Internet from critics and fans has been great though comparisons come up quickly. For every positive point given to Abrams’ version there seems to be a quick reference to it not being as good as “Wrath of Kahn”. I’m just going to make T-shirts that say “Not as good as Khan” and pass them out on opening day, because even if it is as good or better than Khan, most people won’t be able to admit that until days later.

Since the premiere a few clips have hit the Internet and chances are we’ll get a handful more, as the release date gets closer. The clips overall are fine. Nothing insanely awesome but it seems like all the pieces are in the right place. I’m eager to see those pieces shoot lasers at each other.

This first clip shows us how Spock and Scotty first meet, under that machismo of Kirk. I hope we get to see more of Simon Pegg’s Scotty than the soaking wet stowaway that revolutionizes “beaming”.

This second one, from Yahoo features Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy who is having some pre-flight jitters.

And finally, Kirk getting his pimp on from MTV with a quick little overview of the cast and Abrams talking about the film.

I’m not sure where I really stand with the film just yet. I trust JJ as a producer (LOST, Alias, Felicity, Cloverfield) and really enjoyed his direction of Mission Impossible III, so I’m certainly willing to give him the benefit of the doubt even with such a cherished product as Star Trek. I wonder if I’d be singing the same tune if it were a property I had more invested in. I’ll wear my “Not as good as Kahn” shirt inside out just in case.

I wrote the first panel of this joke and was ashamed of myself. God willing JLCM should be as successful and recognizable as Ziggy some day, but I’d like to think it’d be because of a different sense of humor. Letting my mind drift I came up with the fourth-wall-breaking solution and the return to the very safe Grimace joke. I’m coming dangerously close to overusing the Grimace getting stabbed (here, here and here) but it’s hard to resist. As simple as the joke of the Grimace getting stabbed is, it’s remarkably versatile. It’s just a matter of changing the setting and the approach. A Klingon reading of the line seemed like a good enough twist to take advantage of. Plus, you can never have too many Trek comics.

I promised you guys some new sketch images form the Joe Loves Crappy Movies Artist’s Editions and here are a few from a batch I did last week. The Red Skull was a pretty straightforward request that I was happy to tackle. Don’t think I’d actually ever drawn him before. Batman Luchador was one of the oddest requests. I couldn’t help but want to include Dwarf Robin. Rachel had asked for something Veronica Mars or Star Trek related and when I hear those two things together all I picture is Kristen Bell in a Star Trek uniform. Is that terrible of me? Then there was a request for Faye (my cat), which just made me so happy. I’d like to say that Faye was equally excited but she’s a cat and their level of excitement is pretty much always set at 2.

More sketches in the next update. Don’t forget to pick up a book and request your own. Also don’t forget to pick up the Kill Zombie Wash shirt which we will be ordering from the screeners on Monday. We’ll be getting a slight buffer of shirts to stock the store (most likely sizes S through XL) but once they run out there’s no guarantee that we’ll be ordering these shirts again. Don’t e-mail me in three months or come up to me at a show and say, “Where are the Zombie Wash shirts!?” All I’ll do is give you the finger (or a hug depending on how cute you are) Don’t risk it! Get those orders in! Before I go I wanted to plug Ryan Estrada’s new strip The Kind You Don’t Bring Home to Mother. He’s in a vote-based contest right now and needs your support to carry on to the next level. Head on over and check it out and if you like it (come on… it’s Ryan Estrada, of course you’re going to like it) cast a vote his way and support a truly great creator.

Thanks for stopping by. More soon.

Joe Dunn's Facebook profile

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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