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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

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The Baxter

Released: 8/26/05

Viewed: 2:00pm 9/3/05

Starring: Michael Showalter, Michelle Williams, Elizabeth Banks, Justin Theroux

Directed by: Michael Showalter

The Baxter is a movie about the guy that's left at the alter. It follows him instead of the happy couple. A fantastic idea with huge appeal because, let's face it? the world is full of Baxter's. It's ok, just accept it.

Michael Showalter (of the State and Stella fame) makes a strong showing in his writing/directorial debut. The resulting movie is charming and pleasant, and buzzing with belly laughs and style. And like I said, everyone can relate to this story, because for most of the world, it's pretty close to home.

People in the real world don't live adventurous exotic lives. Not the ones going to movies anyway. People living those kinds of lives are too busy to go to the movies. That's cool. More for me. But it's nice because Showalter shines as an artist making this banner film for an entire awkward society.

Ok, I'll go on?.

It's a great looking movie. It's got this whole "old New York style" where you can tell the artists years in NY have paid off because he's found all these perfect little apartments and dive bars, and burger joints. It may sound like nothing, but it makes a huge difference to tone and atmosphere.

Casting was great all around. As with most of the projects Showalter is associated with, we see a lot of the same people. No shame in giving your friends a gig. Especially when they're funny as hell. So when I saw Michael Ian Black, Zak Orth, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks and the great David Wain (among many others) I had zero complaints, because these people have all proved themselves to me in the past. Rest the funny in their hands and let it roll.

The best addition to the gang is Justin Theroux as Bradley the ex-boyfriend. We've seen him here and there in a few roles. Unfortunately mostly frustrating Drew Barrymore movies like Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Duplex. Thank god he's branching away from that stigma. But things look good. He was a jerk in the Baxter, but you still liked him. I guess you're supposed to. If Stella gets picked up, here's hoping he'll appear as an Ice Cream sales men that convinces the guys to watch his truck while he gets over the flu. (Ok, if you're not watching Stella, you got to!)

Also, I can't say enough good things about Michelle Williams who is sweet, and adorable, and the sort of girl that any upstanding Baxter would fall for. Can't believe she ended up with anti Baxter Heath Ledger. Just goes to show ya.

My only beef with The Baxter would be that it's predictable and frustrating at times. You know what's going to happen. Not just because they tell you, but? well, let's just say, in the scene where Paul Rudd shows up, you see how the pieces fit together, and you start hoping for a big surprise.

So you're watching it and the girlfriends a jerk, and her ex is a jerk, and you know the Baxter isn't going to end up with her, but you still just feel bad. It's plenty funny, but it becomes torturous watching this poor guy getting mistreated and disrespected.

6 out of 10 It's very sweet, and a great first film for Showalter. It's nice to see he can be funny and say something important at the same time. But this movie is not for everyone. Yeo and I saw it on a Saturday afternoon, and there were only 2 other people in the theater. And you could hear one of them say "That was the worst movie I've ever seen." as he got up and left. He was old and crotchety, and probably bitter because his love story didn't work out nearly as well.

Oh, and stay for the closing credits. There is an excellent nod after the first set of names. .

DVD worthy?:I don't know. There are some good laughs, and it's a sweet story. At the same time it's a little frustrating, and I think I'd more likely be getting it because of my respect for Showalter and his past work. That's really not fair. If a Stella DVD comes out though, I'll get that.

If you liked this movie check out: The Graduate

If only just to see what every other movie parodies. Plus it's a pretty incredible movie. But if you're a Showalter super fan, just stick with Wet Hot American Summer.

Trailer Hitch: Movie Soundtracks

There were no new trailers at this movie. I'm not sure why, but it was the same trailers I've been seeing for the past month. Enough already, I'm excited about Flight plan. We get it. SO I'll just point out now that songs in the trailers are messing with my head. A normally crap ass looking movie can all of the sudden be awesome if I recognize the tune being played behind the montage of credible actors doing ridiculous things. Here are the most credible cases.

The Trailer for Just Like Heaven starring Reese Witherspoon, and Mark Ruffalo looks blah. Let's face it; there are two possible ways it can go. She help him fall in love with a woman he's over looked, or he dies and they "live" out existence as ghosts in love. Unless they're hiding a huge plot point in the trailer (god I hope) it will end one of those two ways. Or should. Whatever. It looks like fluffy garbage. But when that cure song kicks in? well you sit up in your seat a little.

The Man starring Sam Jackson and Eugene Levy has my vote for worst trailer of the year. Makes Sam look like a punk, which is an enormously difficult thing to do. But are they playing "Pump it up" by Elvis Costello? I don't care if it's a little played out ? the song still rocks. And it makes me pay attention. If they're cool enough to know how cool Costello is, well then there's hope, right!? RIGHT!?

Wrong. It's still gonna suck. Let us learn the lesson of not letting our favorite songs mislead us. A good tune, does not make a good movie.

For today's vote incentive I've done a quick sketch of Michael Showalter. It's an OK likeness, but it could be better. It's the sort of thing I'd really like to sit down and focus on. Maybe one day.

And don't forget! All month long we're celebrating the Secret Tales of Super Hero Virginity. Vote everyday to see anew hero talking about virginity. SO far you've missed Dare Devil, Captain America, Silver Surfer, The Blob, and Professor X. SO don't forget to vote! And then check out this thread for the full details and reactions. Thanks!

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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