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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Serenity: Spoilers

Spoilers ahoy, people. Proceed at your own risk.

Serenity has been out for nearly two weeks at this point and has made $17,594,000, which is not bad for its 2189 screens, but is not the number die-hard fans were hoping for. Dashed are the dreams that the Firefly series would be renewed and revived on Fox or Sci-Fi or any of the channels that would be lucky to have it. But it is now, and will always be, a numbers game. A game that Serenity doesn't know how to play.

You should never say die, there is hope in DVD. And what reason do fans have not to hope that Serenity will do well on DVD? Firefly sold brilliantly for a show that got cancelled after fewer viewings than you can count on one hand. Rightfully so. If Serenity manages 50 million worldwide in theaters, how many DVDs would have to sell to justify bringing it back? Too many, whatever it is. Speculate all you want, but the only hope that Firefly had was a 50 million dollar opening weekend. There would have been a dozen bids before Monday morning to revive the show. Now, obviously, if the DVD sells 100 million copies then there's a chance, but it won't happen. Unless we all buy three. But I don't even have that many DVD players, so forget It.

What we can expect, following substantial DVD sales, is another movie. A sequel is not exactly a rare thing these days, and Serenity is a property ripe with talent and possibility. The story potential is endless. We might not get a story as involved as this first movie and the TV series that supported it, but there are plenty of avenues to take.

I was very pleased to see every member of the cast in attendance. Initially we don't see two of the series regulars with the crew. Shepard Book (Ron Glass) and Inara (Morena Baccarin) are noticeably absent from the on screen introductions. There was a comic book series that explains their departure from Serenity, but I'm in the dark until a collected series comes out and I'm not going to spoil it by reading spoilers. From the movie, though, it looks like Inara got a more high profile job as a Madame, of sorts, and Book continued his spiritual journey. It just took him away from the ship. Those are just assumptions, though.

Performances all around are great, and everyone shines where expected. Nathan Fillion is great as the captain of a run down ship. He commands respect and it's great that he commands it even when everyone around him knows he's stumbling through the situation just as much as they are.

I was never a big fan of the character Zoe (Gina Torres), but looking back she one of the better characters on the show. She's always been stable and loyal; a woman with her priorities in order, but Serenity gives us a chance to see her crack. It's no surprise that she cracks by running head first into battle. Thank god for Jayne (Adam Baldwin) who pulls her back. Jayne is a complete badass in this movie, but we didn't get much development beyond that. It's ok...he does have the best lines.

The person who changed the most was River, (Summer Glau) only because now she's the secret weapon. She was cool, but, like I said in my full review, I would have liked some cleaner action. Also, I hope they can loosen her up as the series goes on. I know she had to be a walking time bomb for this movie but now that they've overcome that it'll be interesting to see how she's used.

I liked the addition of Chiwetel Ejiofor as the nameless operative. As far as bad guys go, he's got it all: stone cold, emotionless, British, a cool way he kills people. It was so cool that I wouldn't have been surprised if he said, "? And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." My only beef is that he slips into his Blade costume for the big showdown. Are people still dressing like Blade in the future?

The operative brings something bigger to the Serenity universe, and that's the fact that there are guys like this out there. Guys that the Alliance will hire to hunt you down and kill you. Crazy.

Then there are the deaths. Shepard Book took a lot of secrets with him. It seems we may never know what he would never discuss. I personally would love to see Book's story told via flashbacks in a sequel or prequel fashion. You could easily have the crew meet someone from Book's past that can reveal his big secrets. Or perhaps his history is better left unsaid. It would give his character dignity in death.

As soon as Book dies, it comes crashing down on you that if the show comes back in any shape or form, it will never be the same. I found myself bargaining almost instantly thinking "It's the future. They could just clone him, right!?" Wrong. As soon as I finished the thought it was painfully clear how lame something like that would be. It was nothing but desperate pleas of a damaged fan. But Book was the obvious choice to kill. He's the emotional/spiritual core of the group that has guided them this far. They've found their answers and killing off Book makes the journey more meaningful.

Then they killed Wash. It couldn't have been done any better. We had just watched him in his shining moment. Everyone gets one and he truly was a leaf on the wind. For those 3 minutes, he was THE MAN and he was so with poise and humor, characteristics he carried throughout the show. Then BOOM, he's gone. I gasped. I'm sure 9 out of 10 people reading this gasped too. I could hear it everywhere that weekend. Driving down the road I kept thinking my tires were leaking, that's how much gasping was going on.

The difference between the two is that we were able to accept Book's death. Like I said: obvious and expendable. With Wash, there wasn't even time to accept it, because the Reavers were right there, and they had to keep moving. It's sad. Thank god Jayne brought the grenades.

What was worse is that everything started to fall apart. Everyone, besides Jayne and River receives a seemingly life-ending wound. It was almost as if Joss was cackling from behind the camera screaming "Cancel my show, will ya!? Well, what do you think of THIS!?" Seriously, if you're going to go out why not go out in a bang?

Thankfully, River fulfills her potential and kicks some major ass. Her hero shot was pretty sweet, but at this point I felt she was even more expendable then Book. Her story was told; we knew all we needed to know about her. Her death would not have been a major loss. If anything, it would have created greater conflict for the doctor to stay with Serenity at all. Well, if it weren't for Kaylee. Sexually speaking.

So, with these two losses, any version of the show would be very different. But with River and Mal at the helm, I did feel good about the future. Who's to say they even need a qualified pilot or a preacher? If the show comes back I'm sure we'll see new cast members. I'm perfectly fine with that, because new blood is what keeps the heart beating. But to call them replacements is unjust.

I believe we will see more movies, but any rumors of a series you should take as just that: rumors. It would be cool, but I just wouldn't get your hopes up. But if you want to believe, I'll believe right along with you. Go see the movie again this weekend, I'll do the same, and when it comes out on DVD, buy a copy, then buy a second copy for a friend. It couldn't hurt, right?

For today's incentive image, check out the back of the gu'ys shirt in today's comic. How could we forget her??

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V