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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

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X-3 Teaser Trialer

Before I get into my thoughts on the X-3 trailer I have to give credit where credit is do. Ok, so yesterday I put up this Free Lunch strip that, upon completion, sort of reminded me of a recent Theaterhopper strip with a similar theme. I'm chalking it up to indirect inspiration.

Today's JLCM, however, featuring the dream mutant power IS a direct rip off of this TH strip which is also about X-3.

I never planned on doing a strip dedicated to a trailer, but Tom did such a great job on his that I was inspired to do this strip. And put my little spin on it. So special thanks to Tom for his extra special kick ass strip.

Normally I like to focus on a movie but this trailer is pretty big news now, so why not. I like to keep it fresh. I'm warning you now, that I may get dangerously nerdy below, but I'll try to keep it relatable to non comic readers.

Everyone is reacting to the new cast members, and how they look being translated to screen for the first time. For the record ? Angle looks great, but the actor playing him Ben Foster I have questions about. His last film was Hostage with Bruce Willis where he was completely creepy and insane. Almost too much. Over the top. Is this just an example of really good acting, or bad method choices? I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt though and I'm more excited to see if they can pull off a cool Archangel look and bring in the villain Apocalypse for the 4th movie!

Beast looks good but I'm saving my finale opinion until I see him in action. That will be the true test. Kelsey Grammer is an outstanding choice for the voice and demeanor of the calm intellectual beast, but ? he's still a beast. Let's see him go nuts. Grammer is great in that he's willing to do stuff like this. A lot of people will thumb there noses up at comic book movies as something "less than". Even in today's box office where comics rule all. But Grammer is smart and willing to play. He's got how many appearances as Side Show Bob to emphasize that. And that's really cool.

Those are the biggest additions to the film but the biggest change has got to be the one addressed in the comic. Bryan Singer left the franchise to do Superman V and the man chosen to fill his shoes is Rush Hour director Brett Ratner. There was naturally some disappointment. I think a lot because of Ratner's past films being very plain, but more so because Singer REALLY got it. He understood the X-men, and he understood how to make it work. A lot of fans were sorry to see that go. But you know he'll just make a rockin' Superman film now.

To be honest I'm not anti-Ratner. I think both Rush Hour movies work well for what they are. Fast pacing, solid story, good clear action. How much of that is Ratner, and how much is the influence of Jackie Chan and his crew? I don't know, but let's not freak out too much. Brett might be able to pull this out.

From the trailer it's tough to figure out what's going on with the story. A lot of the fans are clamoring for the Dark Phoenix Saga. A story arc that featured the return of then dead Jean Grey, as this more powerful being. It's one of the signature storylines in X-men history. This has got to be part of the story because jeans walking around up on screen. But how much of it is being told. Hopefully just set up.

I can tell you now that if this is the full saga, it's going to suck hard. To give it a back seat to the storyline of Angle and his problems with his daddy would be comic book suicide. My hope is that they bring her back, and establish something, but save the good stuff for a later film when they can really focus on it.

Who knows how long this will all last though.

The trailer otherwise looks pretty good. Some solid action scenes from a franchise that has had good action, but has never really nailed it yet. It has a huge cast, which worries me. Someone has to go but whose expendable. I know, I know ? Storm. Hehehe

Even if the trailer sucked all the way through it's ALL ABOUT the Fast Ball Special. This is a move in the comics where one of the X-men named Colossus (who actually got some screen time in X-2. He saved the kids!) picks up Wolverine and? wait for it?. Throws him at the enemy.

I know, it sounds nuts, but it's the coolest thing when it happens in the comics. Basically because Wolverine is this little indestructible ball of fury. With CLAWS! To throw him at a huge robot is just sheer brilliance. Awesome enough to reference in the vote incentive today.

This shot is at the end of the trailer, so fast forward and look for a little shiny spot throwing Wolverine. The fact that they've put this is gives me huge amounts of hope for the project. I mean ? I was going to see it anyway, but now? well I'm kind of looking forward to it.

The comic is for those fans that wish Singer were still on the project. I say to you that ? Yes it would have been awesome, but don't give up hope just yet. I've got to thank Tom again for inspiring this. Truth is that Theater Hopper has had such a huge effect on the comics I do, specifically JLCM, that I should be thanking him every day.

As it should be. There are so many web comics out there but so few devoted to movies and the world of movies. I'm not sure why. Everyone goes to the movies, but not everyone plays video games. Still you've got about 3,000,000 video game comics on line. If they weren't funny as hell I would make my complaint more vocal.

There is of course the great Movie Punks which closed house some time ago. Thank god the archives are still up to route through, because Carrington put together one hell of a series.

There's also Instant Classic by Brian Carroll, which is almost a love story of true devotion to movies. It's beautiful and inspirational in a completely different way than the others. It even goes into different arcs and genres. It's the thinking mans movie web comic.

I was so thrilled to find last week via Beaver and Steve a new Movie comic that started this past summer called Multiplex by Gordon McAlpin. And I was even more thrilled to find out that it was really good. Like REALLY good. Multiplex takes a look at movies from the people that work at the theaters. A unique perspective that was in need of it's own voice. It's original in its art, and funny as hell right out the gate. There's under 30 strips archived right now so go spend some time with it and support the movie comics!

Seriously every strip mentioned is great, and you can tell the creators really love movies. It's rare in web comics so soak it in. And spread the love.

Oh, if you missed the Kong review it was yesterday. CLICK!

That's all for now, thanks for reading, folks! That sounds lame. I need some kind of send off or tag line like "save the isle seat" or "Suck my butt" or something. I'm taking suggestions.

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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