Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
2006 Year End Review
Well, 2005 has come to an end, and while it's not the end of the first full year of Joe Loves Crappy Movies, it is the end of the "movie year" so I thought it was worth mentioning. It was a pretty crap year filled with remakes, updates, and sequels. Plenty of garbage to digest, and honestly it couldn't have been more fun.
I'd been playing along with the idea of a movie review comic for a good long while when I finally decided to take the plunge and just do it back in April of this year. It was really the perfect combination of two things that bring me a lot of joy. And nothing could ruin that, not even a bunch of lame movies.
I wish I had some ultimate end of the year best and worst list prepared for you, but I do not. I can't figure out how to do it. What makes one movie better than another? I proudly announce that I'm willing to give crappy movies a shot, but do they really compare to true great filmmaking? I mean, can I put Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo and Munich on the same list? I don't know? I'm struggling with it.
I've decided there are about 5 or 6 movies I still have to watch before any final choices are made. I'll take a shot at a list sometime in February. But, do see Munich and do rent Deuce 2. I feel so bad. Deuce got such bad reviews, but people need to lighten up. It's not going to rock your world or have some profound Syrianaian effect on you. but it IS funny as balls. Relax. Have a beer, and laugh a little.
For now, it's business as usual. December was packed with quality movies that I couldn't get around to, so over the next two weeks you'll see me playing catch up, as well as dealing with the bountiful crap January has to offer. Bloodrayne, Grandma's Boy, and Hostle in one week!? It's crappy movie heaven!
I did want to take this time just to reflect on the first "movie" year of JLCM. I feel like it's been a good start. The art and jokes have been growing, and I'm even pleased with the progression of the reviews. If I could only deal with spelling errors better. Oh, and my crap taste in movies. But it's 90 strips that I feel really good about. Some are stinkers, but I think there's more good than bad.
Beyond that it's been a great year for Joe the web comic artist. Besides JLCM, 2005 also brought about The Coffee Achievers which, at least a little, put me on the map. I can't say enough good things about Mitch Clem and his legion of fans who embraced the new series, as different as it was. Thanks.
The Coffee Achievers became a real crash course in comics for me. It's black and white and daily so it was definitely a shift from what I'm used to, and what I'm comfortable with. I feel like in my other comics I use color as a crutch, and with Achievers I couldn't. I had to make it work, and I had to do it right away because the next day I had to make another strip work.
Even the associations with Boxcar and PV have been hugely supportive to JLCM's progress. I feel like I've got a backstage pass to hang out with the big boys. With company like Mitch, Tom, Brandon, Zach, Clay, and another half dozen people I feel equally threatened by, how could I feel otherwise?
I also have to thank my fellow pimps Phil, Irv, and Kevin. You guys rule, and I feel like with the four of us coming together this year we've created a place at Digital Pimp that is producing a lot of quality comics pretty consistently. I'm grateful for everything each of you has done for our little web site. We're going to kick ass in 2006.
Most of my thanks will go to Yeo who is nothing short of perfect. She's too good for me and thank god she doesn't care.
All right, this is getting mushy. But really, JLCM has grown a lot in 8 months and I can thank all these people a thousand times over, but I should be showering my thanks on all the people that keep coming back to read it. People that link me in their blog, that befriended me in Myspace, that actually found and read some of my other comics. You guys are the best. I love you. I promise to do my best to make the comics as funny as possible, and to never lead you towards a movie that sucks.
Well that's it, except for the future. Like I said I have some 2005 movies to sweep up. Movies I've seen: Munich(great), Wolf Creek(disappointingly unfrightening), Rumor Has it? (creepy, but ok), The Family Stone (worse and worse the more I think about it), Syriana (heavy, but interesting). And the movies I still have to catch: Memoirs of a Geisha, Borkeback Mountain, The New World, Match Point ? as many movies as I can see.
So I will try to clean those up in an orderly fashion. In fact, if you're anxious to read the comics for three of those you can get a sneak peek at the comics (but not the reviews) of Syriana, Rumor Has It, and The Family Stone, you can check out this new site that allows you to download comics for your Ipod. Weird Huh? Yeah, a bunch of creators were contacted and asked to participate. Seemed like an interesting way to be part of the latest technology, so a lot of us joined up including DJ and Ali. So I'm in good company. The reviews to go with those strips will go up next week, as will a better explanation of how the Ipod site works.
Until then, thank you for reading this year, and I hope you'll stick around for 2006. Superman week alone should be worth it. Oh, and voting will get you a image of Palpatine. Thanks guys!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V