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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

The Family Stone

Released: 12/23/05

Viewed: 1:20pm 12/25/05

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Luke Wilson, Claire Danes, Diane Keaton, Dermot Mulroney, Rachel McAdams

Directed by: Thomas Bezucha

Twentieth Century Fox - Official Site of the movie

So The Family Stone is a pretty good representation of most of the families in the world. They fight, they curse, they're dysfunctional on a whole new level, but underneath it all they really love each other. They're able to argue and disagree freely because at the end of the day, they're blood. They're family.

But things are shaken up when prodigal son Dermot Mulroney returns with someone ( Sarah Jessica Parker in her big return to movie stardom) the entire family can agree to hate. Even though this is a tired old sitcom set up, they certainly have a great time making you feel very uncomfortable, and very sorry for this poor outcast. It's the perfect feeling for the holidays!

So overall the movie is fine. It's charming and cute and inoffensive for the most part. A great ensemble cast has been brought together, and everyone has scenes that allow them to cut loose and have fun, as well as knuckle down and show how good they are at their craft.

It is the return of Sarah Jessica Parker who received a Golden Globe nomination for her role in this movie. She's not bad in Stone, but part of me feels like this nomination is more of a "We loved you in Sex and the City and we still love you now" sort of thing. But I have to give credit where credit is due; she's put on the spot and ridiculed over and over again. A scene involving homosexuality where she asks a completely legitimate question about the challenges of being a homosexual in this society is completely blown out of proportion as the family attacks her. It speaks more for the families distaste towards her that they're unwilling to look at the situation objectively. It's an uncomfortable scene, but is handled well.

I enjoyed the rest of the family including some touching performances from it's leaders Craig T. Nelson and Diane Keaton . Mulroney returns as another fianc? destine to lose the girl. I like him as an actor, I think he's had some triumphs in this same role in other films, but he's uneasy here. Comic relief is ably provided by Luke Wilson who gives us another reason to wish we were him.

One of the characters is deaf and the entire family does use sign language. It was awesome because even if they weren't talking to the deaf character, they would still sign. That speaks volumes to the connection of the family. It's part of who they all are. It connects them on a whole new level. I thought it was an amazing note to add to the film. And it does look hella cool.

The film takes a wicked turn as relationships become undefined, and hot sisters show up. I don't care how long they take to explain the series of events that occur, it's still freakin' creepy. Walking out of the theater I felt dirty because of how neatly things had wrapped up. Everything works out fine in the end, but they shouldn't have. It's just? creepy. Watch the movie and you'll come to a moment where one characters supposed to get on a bus. Will they stay or go? You're supposed to want them to stay, but you so don't, because it's just to weird.

It's nice to see a real family depicted with as much fury in their lives as there is love. It's comforting to know that the rest of the world is a little bit crazy too, and that they don't have to sabotage a wedding or win a three-legged race to legitimize family life for Hollywood. 6 out of 10. It gains points because of some of the more tender hearted moments. Two years form now the things you'll remember will be Rachel McAdams starring at a photograph of her mother, not Parker get high in a townie bar.

DVD worthy?: Pass. I have my own dysfunctional family to spend time with. And none of them have hot friends like Claire Danes.

If you liked this movie check out: My Best Friends Wedding

How could I NOT pick another movie where Mulroney was proposing to someone? I'm not a huge fan of My Best Friends Wedding, but it's cute, and effective in its way. I asked Yeo though, and she thinks it's too frustrating. She said it's frustrating "because Julia Roberts goes there with the intention of breaking him up and she just comes of as a bad person. But you're supposed to like her and not Cameron Diaz, but you just end up hating everybody. Except the gay guy, he's cool"

Huh ? Well said.

Trailer Hitch: Catch and Release

Oh what a treat it was to sit through the previews and see a two-minute movie. The complete beginning middle and end are revealed in the trailer for Catch and Release so if you're really into Jennifer Gardner, or intense weird tear jerkers ? avoid the trailer at all costs.

The movie doesn't look appealing to me at all, but I will most likely see it because I'm a Kevin Smith fan and he has a costarring role where he actually seems to do a lot of talking. That appeals to the comic geek in me. Also I'm a fan of Alias, and pre-Affleck Jennifer Gardner so I want to relive better days with her. This movie was probably made when she was in the clutches of the beast, but it's before the pregnancy so I can pretend Scott Foley's still in the picture. Is that creepy? I actually like Affleck, just not when he's "with" people. That sounds bad. I certainly don't wish him unhappiness?

Let me explain it like this. Tom Green circa 1998. Pretty cool. A little over the top, but I was laughing. Drew Barrymore circa Wedding Singer. Smokin' hot, AND safe to take home to mom. When they got married? less hot. It's a similar situation with Bennifer 2.

Today's vote incentive has Irv questioning my recent burst in romantic comedies. I think I put him in his place.

Hey you guys were so good with downloading of the Ipod strips that I decided to put up the comic for Hostel. The review to go with it will be up on Thursday after I put Syrianas out. Thanks again for the support, keep checking back here for fresh stuff.

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

pimptour
@pimptour
@geekboypress Let me know what booth you're at and I'll swing by!
07 Aug 2022
Kevin Gleason
@retail_rage
@joedunn721 Unbelievable how many steps back we are taking.
23 Jul 2022