Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Big Momma's House 2
Released: 01/27/06
Viewed: 9:55pm 01/27/06
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Kat Dennings, Emily Procter, Zachary Levi,
Directed by: John Whitesell
Martin Lawrence is struggling. I love him and his movies to death, but after a string of flops and a very public battle/recovery with drugs, this former heavy hitter is desperate for a hit. That explains why he's so willing to suit up in the heavy padding from his 2000 Blockbuster Big Momma's House
Big Momma's House was never one of his best movies, but it certainly was funny, and it certainly was successful. It showed Lawrence doing what he does best - adopting multiple characters and improvising up a storm. Some may claim that Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers trail blazed this "genre" when their Nutty Professor and Austin Powers franchises became such hits, but people forget that Lawrence paid his dues playing 5 or 6 different characters on the show that made him a star Martin. It was funny then, why wouldn't it be funny now.
Truth is it's absolutely hysterical. I'm not going to lie ? I was drunk as a skunk and with my girl and one of my best boys, and we were ready to laugh. I'm sure that played a major role in us enjoying the movie, but for all it's faults Big Momma's House 2 is an assault of situational humor that had me laughing hard every 40 seconds.
The sequel takes place a few years after the end of the original. Malcolm (Lawrence) has married his flame from the first movie Nia Long and settled into a nice safe desk job in the police department. It's that old story where the former glory hound is desperate to live his adventurous life again. So when an opportunity arises, he breaks out the Big Momma make up (that he saved for some creepy reason) and starts lying to everyone. I had no problem with the set up. It led to a less interesting opening then the original films Korean-dog-fight-shakedown, but it makes sense. It's good character progression.
Big Momma he becomes a nanny to a family and has to take care of the kids and the house, sort of like The Pacifier with more sass. I had no problem with this either. The family was great, I love that kid that jumps off stuff, and it's just set up for humorous things to happen. Awesome.
My only problem plot wise was what drove Malcolm to dress up again and investigate the family. It was a thin story about the leak of defense plans that I never felt was explained properly. It was more like "There's a problem! What's the problem? It's Big! Where's my thongs!?" But I feel bad complaining because more plot would have meant less funny, and to be honest I didn't need too much plot to enjoy the humor. If you're going into Big Momma's House 2 looking for a scintillating crime story, then you're in the wrong theater.
There were a couple of things in the story I would have like to see differently. The first film featured Paul Giamatti as Malcolm's partner, and he was great. Paul is one of the big boys right now so I never expected him to show up in the sequel, but the dynamic they had as partners was one of the best parts of the first movie. Malcolm is much more of a loan Wolf in this movie, eventually working with a few hysterical FBI agents, but always at arms length.
I also would have liked to see the kids discover Malcolm's identity early on. Doing that would have set up a great situation of kids vs. parents, plus seeing them help him crack the case would have been pretty funny. I'm sure there are reasons this didn't happen. What do I know? I draw cartoons.
What amazes me the most about Big Momma's house 2 is that it's able to get a little crazy, have a ton of laughs, and still keep it family friendly. The older I get the bigger I realize that is. I'm going to have kids a=in a few years, and I don't want JLCM to start sucking just because I can only see the family films. Crap, I'm screwed.
I promise you now that 9 out of 10 people reading this review won't see Big Momma's House in the theater. That's cool. Movies are expensive and it definitely pays to be selective. And 9 out of 10 people reading this are all about Memento and Fight Club and Batman, and that's cool too. I love those movies! They're all perfect 10s, and believe me, when one comes out I won't mess around. I'll tell you straight out (Best bet in the distant future looks like V for Vendetta. Just keep it on your radar.) But there is a place for Big Momma's House 2. If you're looking for cheesy, obvious, dangerously close to lame, but also honest laughs, it's a good direction to look.
7 out of 10. I'm giving it a hard 7 based nearly 100% on the big laughs. I was belly laughing and high fiving Irv pretty consistently, even at moment's that aren't supposed to be funny. So we just had a good time. If a movie can do that for me, then it deserves a high grade. Good luck with this one Martin, I hope it does well. I'll keep showing up either way.
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DVD worthy?: I don't know. It was pretty funny, but I've got a lot of funny DVD's that don't involve men pretending to be women.
If you liked this movie check out: White Chicks
White Chicks was a really crappy movie, but somehow it was a huge hit as I'm sure Big Momma's House 2 will be, because these movies make people laugh. White Chicks brings together all the best plot elements of the Big Momma's House movies and adds vulgarity. They don't have to play it up to kids so the dirty jokes are flying all over the place. It wouldn't be a Wayans brother's movie without a little sexual innuendo or a proper fart joke would it?
As offensively bad of a movie as it is, as bad as the disguises are, it's still a really really funny movie. Terry Crews singing 1,000 miles may have been the funniest thing I'd seen that year on the big screen. It's one of those movies you have to give yourself to. It's gonna suck a little, just be ready for it.
Trailer Hitch: Block Party
Holy crap, Block Party looks too cool. Basically Dave Chappelle gets together all his favorite musicians to come together and have a big ass party. I'm not even a huge hip hop fan, but it still looks awesome. I've missed Chappelle. Will Block Party answer questions about Chappele's Show, why he ran off, why he came back, what's next? Probably not, but he IS back, and he's ready to party. I've got my 40. Let's do this.
Today's incentive image is a continuation of the comic, and is the real explanation why a switch like that would never work long term. Thanks for the votes guys. It really does help.
Non movie related stuff:
So that was comic number 99 meaning that the next one is 100 (Uh-duuuhhhh), which marks the first real significant Milestone for JLCM. 50 was nice, but this is triple digits! I'm excited about that mark and it's had me thinking a lot about where the strip has gone in the past 10 months. Anyway more on that in the next strip!
Phil came by today to drop off some schwag and he was able to show me how the strips looked on his Ipod. Gotta say it was pretty cool to see them that size, and to see that they were legible. The only ones that are a miss are the first two I did: Sin City and the Dark Side strips. I was still testing the waters, not really sure of how it worked, but I've since found my method. Can't wait to show these to folks at the NY convention next month!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
