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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Chronicle

Starring: Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell Michael B. Jordan, and Michael Kelly

Directed by: Josh Trank

Chronicle on Facebook

Chronicle could easily be mislabeled. At a glance it’s a superhero origin story focusing on classic teen wish fulfillment scenarios that will be promptly and justifiably located in the “Found Footage” section on Netflix in 8 months. It’s all those things. You can’t argue that it’s not. What you can argue is that it does things that go well beyond what a clichéd description like that implies. It gives us a modern take on superhero origins and turns the found footage phenomenon on its head, actually saying something interesting about it in process.

Those eager to label Chronicle could argue that it steps on a lot of the major plot points, and even grand character arcs, of X-men: First Class (Leaving out perhaps the most important plot point - I’m speaking of course about groovy Professor X’s pick up lines.) If anything the comparison only points to how well structured The X-men were in the first place because Chronicle is asking the same hard questions X-men creator Stan Lee was in the 60’s. “How would powers change you?” “What would you do if you had powers?” These are the questions that made those characters so great and what now make this film so much more than just “another superhero movie”. Chronicle’s answers to the questions are that the powers don’t make you a better or worse person, they only amplify the person that you are. They allow your true nature to come out. And when teenagers get the courage (power) to speak their own mind… well you know stuff is gonna start blowing up.

That is perhaps a little misleading. Chronicle would be misplaced in the action section. If anything it’s a little light on the action. This is much more a story about three people brought together and torn apart by newfound abilities. There’s little time for explosions when you’re developing very real, very believable characters.

The first 10 minutes of the film has a very specific goal. You will be bullied into believing that Andrew’s life sucks. We see Andrew (Dane DeHaan) teased at school, beaten at home, taking care of a dying loved one… The full deal. The kid has it rough and its portrayal is harsh. Andrew begins filming his life. A means perhaps to document his abuse or maybe just to find relevance. It’s left open ended but I love the room for interpretation.

When his older cousin Matt (Alex Russell), a begrudged mentor, drags Andrew to a rave the humiliation continues until Steve () leads Andrew away from a party to a mysterious hole in the middle of the woods that he and Matt found. Andrew is invited to film it, and invitation that showcasing how ridiculous it is that we live in a world where everything needs to be captured for posterity. Even holes…

What’s in the hole isn’t important. What’s important is that the three come out with telekinesis or: the power to move things with their minds. We now get to follow the three as they discover their powers, experiment with them and develop them. It’s good times. Lots of pranks. Lots of football catches 10,000 feet of the ground. You know. The usual. More to the point though we see these three people that were not friends before truly coming together over a shared experience. It makes what follows that much more believable and tragic. Despite his new friends Andrew still struggles for acceptance. One blowjob gone bad later and all hell breaks loose. That’s as good a place as any to stop on plot recaps. But what follows is really a fantastic portrayal of power allowing the best and worst inside people to rise to the surface. Really well done.

All three actors are terrific. There’s much to take away from the film but the presence and chemistry of these three is lasting. They are genuine and authentic, even as they soar above the Space Needle. I enjoyed as well Michael Kelly as Andrew’s father. I’ve liked Kelly since seeing him as redneck-turned-badass CJ in the Dawn of the Dead remake and have really enjoyed the character actor he’s become. He is a ball of rage ready to explode at any second in Chronicle and it makes for some very tense scenes.

The film doesn’t have much new to say specifically about the super hero origin story or the conflict faced by a person with newfound power. Like it or not this is basically the rise of Magneto and the forced existence of Professor X. The themes are so classic I’m sure there’s a Shakespearian comparison but look who you’re talking to. However Chronicle is perhaps one of the first films to tackle these subjects with modern young people. As classic as “power” and “how power corrupts” can be as themes, the world is always changing and if new perspectives aren’t available now we need only wait 10 years to see what our children think.

The found footage point of view is apparent but not abused. I’m sure part of how the film was sold was on it’s unique perspective but people are so burnt out on this genre of story telling that I could hear my audience complaining about it in the parking lot. I tend to think that people are complaining about it because they recognize and identify it rather than it’s actually poorly used. I would say that application here actually has a lot to say.

What’s most interesting in regard to the found footage technique here is that it’s not a singular camera we’re seeing. Andrew has two cameras in the film yet we see their footage edited together seamlessly (well…relatively seamlessly. I mean – there’s a reason he had to get a new camera.). Additionally, security camera footage, police vehicle dashboard cams, even cel phone camera footage are all fair game in telling this story. It’s something that comes in especially handy during the films finale when we see a citywide battle from a hundred different perspectives. Imagine the showdown from Superman 2 shot from inside the bus that gets thrown at Superman.

The multiple cameras give multiple voices and multiple perspectives offering a chance to better round out the story and characters while also pointing out that we are a nation under surveillance. We’re all a terrible reality show just waiting to happen. Chronicle doesn’t bash us over the head with this message but we would be foolish to ignore it completely. It’s right there in the title. Andrew is chronicling their newfound powers as well as his own life. There’s a commentary in there about how people document their existence and in some cases build their own worth by stepping in front of or shoving a camera in the face of the world around them. That’s part of it. And it that respect Chronicle is saying so much more about the world we live in than the found footage films where a camera is set up to prove a ghost is bothering your dog.

Chronicle plays like an intimate blockbuster. The kind of film that invites you in, gets you comfortable and then knocks your socks off. I think there’s something to be said about a sluggish middle. Despite its uniqueness in editing there’s a point where you’re waiting for the true conflict to emerge and when it finally arises I for one wished there was a little bit more of it. But we’re taking away so much more than that. It’s a faire trade.

First time film director Josh Trank should be pretty proud of his finished work here. There are rumors that he’s been tapped by Marvel to helm a reboot of The Fantastic Four. If he can bring as much authenticity and character to that as he did Chronicle then FF fans should be very pleased.

I wonder how well Chronicle will replay. As it stands the build up could be too slow and the action not grand enough to warrant revisiting regularly. But once every few years couldn’t hurt. It will be a nice reminder that there’s always a new take on telling familiar stories.

That’s a beast fo a review so I’ll be brief here - Thanks for stopping by today. What to give quick links to my Twitter and Tumblr accounts. I’m making fun of movies all week long over there. Thanks again!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V