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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

George vs. Joe Part 3

Today’s comic was a lot of fun to do. I like how the banter in panel one between George and Joe turned out. George makes the Escape From New York reference to reinforce that he’s sort of becoming a crappy movie nerd himself. The strips in the return arc haven’t been horribly funny but I’m happy with the little jokes and the shock endings of each chapter. Like this one – Joe’s George’s replacement? Joe’s working for the government? George tried to bang Yeo!?

In the last strip I put out a call for some general questions to help fill space as the story plays out, and I got some really good ones. I was really worried I’d get none at all and look like an ass, but you guys came through. I also got a ton of e-mails from George fans who assured me there is still much love for everyone’s favorite government agent reviewer. That made me terribly happy. Anyway, on to the e-mails!:

From Erik Von Himmel

Question: Captain Jean-Luc Picard, yes or no?

You know what I'm talking about, you try to sneak him in the back round of a few comics, I first thought I first noticed him in the Bloodrayne comic, but I went back and looked and he's not in it, so I guess it must have been something else, but I did see him in the Date Movie one and the Scary Movie 4 one, so is it Jean-Luc Picard? Or is it just some fanboy, who seems to think it's cool to dress like the captain of the Enterprise to every movie, Or am I just completely crazy?

Answer: Oh it’s totally Picard. He’s become my go-to background character lately. He even showed up in today’s strip. It all started with the comic I did back in December for The Producers. I’d drawn out this guy in the background and while coloring it I gave him a red shirt. I realized right away how much he looked like Picard, so I said “What the hell.” Now whenever I get the itch I’ll stick him in the background. He does go to crap movies though. Honestly, Date Movie and Scary Movie 4? That’s not cool. And look at him, he’s having a great time. I’ll have to bring him in to see X-3 or something. Oh. Professor X. I guess that would make sense.

Also, Where the hell did George come from? Don't get me wrong I've really taken a liking to the guy, but was he an idea you've had for a while, or is there something I'm missing from not reading your other comics?

I’m glad to say George was a pretty natural occurrence. I knew I wanted the strip for V for Vedetta to be a big one. Something with impact. As I came up with the idea of Joe being hauled off for free thinking, the idea of being replaced by a government agent seemed like an obvious one. Having him stick around for a while just sounded like fun.

It definitely wasn’t something planned. If it were George would have had his on LJ and Myspace page. I would have gone all out, and I may in the future but for now, it is what it is. Thanks for the Questions Erik!

From Mike Bennett

Question: What's the story behind comic Joe's future daughter's name? Undeniably, Switchblade Motorcross Dunn is one of the more awesome names to be thought of, but is there more to it than that? Is this a name one of your own future kids can look forward to?

Answer: Switchblade Motorcross Dunn (as revealed in the Silent Hill comic) is indeed something I’ve been pushing on Yeo as a possible name for one of our future kids. It’s perfect because it’s bad ass, original, and genderless. It works with a boy or a girl!

In all seriousness I most likely will not force that kind of torture on any of my kids. It’s the sort of name where they would be teased endlessly in elementary school, but the name would get them laid in college. We’ll most likely give them a traditional first name, but believe that I will lobby hard for Chainsaw to be the middle name. Alex Chainsaw Dunn. It’s no Switchblade Motorcross, but it’ll do the trick. Thanks for the question Mike! And extra special thanks for letting me know why the sky is actually blue:

The sky is blue because air molecules are shorter than the wavelength of light, thus the short end of the spectrum (blue) gets scattered around more easily and is more easily visible. The sky is red at sunsets because light has to travel through more atmosphere to get to you and the blue light has all been totally scattered by the time it reaches you. And, just for good measure, clouds are white instead of blue because water droplets are much larger than the wavelength of light, so all light gets scattered equally.

From “Some Person”

Question: I have a small fledgling comic that's more of a joke with my friends, but one day I wanna get serious about online comics, do you have any advice for me?

I think that most good comics start out as jokes with friends. I can remember sitting around with my buddies and just cracking up saying “This would make an awesome comic.”

Answer: There are a lot of different answers to your question. First want to make sure you have a good product that you really believe in it. Chances are though that if it’s funny to you it’s going to be funny to other people. You could worry a little about inside jokes but honestly they’re difficult to avoid. JLCM has a few now but it’s the sort of thing where people have caught on. When Palpatine shows up, the majority of folks reading know exactly what’s going on.

Web skills aren’t crucial but a nice looking site can make a difference with a young comic. Still, I know some sites that are just comics on page, or even LJ blog comics. If you don’t have the skills that’s a great way to get started because it’s instantly involving yourself in a community.

The biggest tip I could give is stressing the importance of community. People can read your comic and think it’s funny but if you give them a chance to get to know you, the person behind the comic, they’ll be more likely to come back. You want to be out there, blogging, posting on message boards, visiting your favorite comics and becoming part of their communities. I can’t tell you how many great people I’ve met in the Thorum or through the Boxcar Forums.

You’ve got to get out there and let people know who you are. I’m not talking about aggressive self-promotion, just – this is who I am, this is what I like, I’m going to participate in a few conversations. Toss in a tiny link in your signature and you’d be surprised how many folks will head on over.

But this is all part of the second step. First and foremost you have to figure out the kind of comic you want to be doing. Because it becomes part of your life, and there will be days when you hate it, where you can’t imagine staying up to finish the damn thing, but you have to keep going. So if you hate vegetables, don’t do that comic about the adventure seeking Tomato and his gattling gun of destruction. Actually, do that. It sounds awesome.

Also, what do you think is the coolest first name for someone, regardless of Gender?

Cherry Bomb. For girls you’ve got “Cherry” which is a very feminine fruit and it’s red which I associate with girls. It’s so close to pink. But it’s also got the “Bomb” for boys. Dye that kids hair red and he will be getting tons of bad boy points. In High School he’ll be every good girls dirty little secret. Awesome questions, thanks!

From Arnaud Hilfiker


1. Which is the best non-sense comedy ever? (Naked Gun, Hot Shots 2, etc. (Monty Python Movies don't count, because they always win and aren't really non-sense :-P))

2. Did Stanley Kubrick do a crappy movie?

3. What's your favorite movie-quote?

4. Which book or comic would like to appear on big screen and how would it work out? (because it's you who direct it and you have an unlimited budget)

Answers: 1. I’ve gone through phases where I liked a lot of them. There was a point where I could have quoted more than half of Hot Shots: Part Deux. I think though that the strongest movies that are true the genre are Naked Gun and Airplane! They’re the strongest because they have the widest appeal. Those two movies will speak to many different people in many different walks of life.

My true favorite though is Young Frankenstein. Goofball humor aside, I would include it as one of the top 25 comedies of all time. It’s as smart as it is stupid and that’s so rare in this type of movie.

2. Honestly I haven’t seen them all. I admit to being afraid of him though. Here’s the thing. The guy is equally misunderstood and praised. Film fans will appreciate how brilliant he was but he is not for the masses. But the answer is “yes”. Everyone makes bad movies. Except John Cusack.

3. Awesome question. I’m going to give you a top 5!

5: Sweep the Leg Johnny - John Kreese Cobra Kai Sensei, The Karate Kid

4: And YOU can count, on ME, waiting for YOU, in the parking lot- Mr. Larson, Happy Gilmore

3: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out! - Scareface – Half Baked

2: Can you BLOW ME where the PAMPERS is? - Old Lady, PCU

1: Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria! - John 'Vicky' Johnson, Alcatraz Guide, So I married an Axe Murderer

Ok the last quote is a little disturbing printed out, but it’s my favorite quote for the way that Phil Hartman delivered it. The Man was a pure genius even in such a small role he was able to draw out one of the biggest laughs.

4. Tough one. I mean I was a pretty hard core Fantastic Four fan and that was only ok. I guess I’d have to go with something more current. Invincible Y the Last Man and Runaways would all make great movies. The ultimate comic on film for me though would be 100 Bullets. I have a feeling that once that book ends, within a year we’ll get a really kick ass film. The story is just too good to screw up. Seriously people, if you’re not reading 100 Bullets, please do. Thanks so much for that awesome list of questions Arnaud.

Thanks to everyone that sent questions in. You guys rule. Keep them coming, I’ve got another strip of space to fill!

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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