Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Okay, let’s talk some spoilers
The Official Site of X-men Origins: Wolverine
Discuss X-men Origins: Wolverine on the boards!
Spoilers ahead folks.
I’m not so shocked that people didn’t take to Wolverine. It just felt like the tide was turning that way anyway. I wouldn’t say I’m disappointed either. It’s just not for everyone I guess. My mock confusion in the comic is another case of selling the joke. It’s actually really a twist on a joke I did back for the Star Wars: The Clone Wars, a case where I was genuinely shocked that people were so eager to hate a film.
While I’m explaining jokes… it became clear that some kind of clarification was necessary somewhere around the 11th e-mail that I received for the last Wolverine comic, explaining to me why Cyclops wouldn’t recognize Wolverine. It’s another case of artistic license in which I played out a conversation that some people most likely had before seeing the movie. I of course saw that Cyclops was blindfolded the entire time but the comic was done and I still hold out that it was a nice gag for people that hadn’t seen the movie yet.
But if I’m being a big comic geek about it – Doesn’t it stand to reason that at one point or another, one of the dozen people that were also rescued that day would describe to Cyclops the crazy guy with the metal claws that saved them all? I mean… even if you didn’t see it, you would probably remember something like that, especially when someone fitting that description shows up 10 years later and hits on your girlfriend.
That’s a simple and logical explanation to the problem of Cyclops being blindfolded but still recognizing Wolverine and as much as people would like to hate Wolverine for it’s short comings, a little logic could easily fill those gaps. Not that it should always have to but people that walk into this thing expecting it to be terrible are going to exploit those gaps towards making the film out to be worse than it actually is.
We’ve had a weekend to get used to things. Are people still upset about Deadpool? Even after the super secret ending to the film that shows him back to his old self? For those that say he was underused or that they never should have shut him up, the only defense I would offer is that this is not his movie. He was a tool used to make this movie better. To those that would respond, “Then why use Deapool at all?” Well that’s easy – to establish him.
There’s no secret that Fox wants to spin Deadpool off into his own series and having him introduced in Wolverine gives unaware audiences a point of reference. It wouldn’t just be “Ryan Reynolds playing some guy they’ve never heard of before”, it’ll be “Ryan Reynolds playing that bad ass from Wolverine in his own movie!” What it does is gives the character a fighting chance at the box office. So while it might not be the ideal origin for Deadpool, it’s his best chance at getting his own adventure.
I agree it was hard to see the wisecracking warrior silenced and subdued by Stryker’s influence but I believe it was the perfect method towards making Wolverine a stronger film and ascertaining Deadpool as one of Marvels heaviest hitters.
I’m not defending the film. If I were I’d launch into another tirade about how the Adimantium bullets were actually a good idea, just poorly presented. But I wouldn’t dream of wasting your time. Most people have seen the film and made their mind up about it and that’s good. The best thing we can do now is move on to Star Trek and hope that Wolverine 2 is easier to please.
We had a delightfully awkward conversation about Wolverine on last night’s Triple Feature. We also kicked off the Top Ten of the Summer contest which is something we’ll be calling back to throughout the summer. Check out the details on hat here and please feel free to add your two cents. Thanks for stopping by. More soon.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V