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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Released: 08/04/06

Viewed: 10:00pm 08/04/06

Starring: Will Ferrell, Gary Cole, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen, Michael Clark Duncan, Leslie Bibb, Amy Adams, Elvis Costello, Mos Def

Directed by: Adam McKay

Sony Pictures Official Site of the movie

Director Adam McKay, producer Judd Apatow and award winning break-dancer Will Ferrell teamed up two summers ago and delivered an instant comedy classic upon the world that will last for all of time. That movie, Anchorman: The Ledged of Ron Burgundy, was not only one of the funniest movies that year but also a huge hit commercially and critically. How does the new comedy superstar team follow such success? How else? NASCAR!

The choice first seems bizarre because NASCAR is sort of lame, but with its built in product placement and legions of fans, NASCAR proves to be a vehicle (ha-ha) that can line up big name sponsors and get the butts in the seats. And with close to 78% of those butts being what us Yankees would call “redkneck-git-r-dun-hillbilies” Apatow and company have invaded a genre with enough material for 8 movies.

While they don’t exploit the southern comfort, they certainly have their fun with it. Stereotypes are present and the majority of the characters in the movie are kind of dumb, but at no point is it disrespectful or cruel. We’re laughing more with them and less at them. Same thing for the French character who could have fallen into his own stereotype and been painted as a ostentatious snob. Instead they just made him gay.

As lame as NASCAR is, it’s thankfully more of a backdrop to the story of friendship and fatherhood that drive (hya-ha) the film. They do utilize the best part of the deadly sport with a couple of spectacular crash sequences that are not only graphic but really long too. I’m sick of these crashes that end in 30 seconds. No one at a NASCAR event wants to see a car bump the wall and glide off the track into a bag of sand. Let’s see that sucker turn! In the air! On FIRE!

Recent NASCAR films like Cars and Herbie: Fully Loaded mask their crash sequences with clouds of smoke or Lindsay Lohan’s boobs. I’m really glad Talladega took advantage of how fiery disastrous this sport can be. The best thing about Talladega Nights: The Ledged of Ricky Bobby is that it’s fast. All good racecar movies should be but a good comedy keeps moving and slows down for no man. Combined with some great jokes and a dangerously funny cast to deliver them this movie becomes a deadly force to be reckoned with. Like a two-headed cobra that spits hot fire. Talladega is so fast, in fact, that I found myself barely recovering from a laugh before noticing the movie had moved on to the next scene. Missing parts of the plot is rarely a good thing, but if it’s because you’re doubled over in a laughing fit then the movies worth seeing again. Here’s another 10 bucks you two headed bastard reptile. Totally worth it.

I did actually see the movie twice. I had to see it with my web comic brothers while in Chicago last weekend, and Yeo was looking forward to it for a while. I was happy to go again. Like I said – it’s fast. The movie moves along at a blistering pace (something rare these days) and is funny from start to finish (even more rare).

The movie is not perfect though and won’t click with everyone. The story is somewhat formulaic and takes a few unexpected detours. It didn’t bother me too much because there’s a point where the character has to hit rock bottom and Ricky Bobby reaches a real low. Still, some of his fall feels less like a natural progression and more like a dream sequence where you’re waiting for the character to wake up.

There’s a love interest that sort of comes out of nowhere. They have a few throwaway lines that attempt to explain the relationship and its quick progression, but I feel like the full story will be told in the deleted scenes. Until then I’ll accept it as a necessary plot point that wasn’t as necessary as the ones they focused on.

I found that some of the jokes could have been trimmed up a little bit. The humor is situational, conversational, and there’s a good amount of improve going on. That lead to 2 or 3 scenes running a little longer then need be. It’s funny, but I kept asking myself if it would have been funnier had they not drilled the joke into the ground. 3 minutes on the compromise of calling a crape a “flat pancake” was a tad much. Admittedly though it was funnier the second time around.

The dialogue is also less quotable, which may not sound like much but is part of the fun of reliving the movie on DVD. Ricky Bobby has plenty of fun stuff to say but I miss the pompous baritone of Papa Burgundy. The best lines go to rival driver Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G) who curls every syllable out in a static French accent. My favorite quote right now is “Hakuna matata, bitches!”

Overall though Talladega delivers. It’s light hearted and really funny and while those kinds of movies won’t change the world they still have their place. For comparisons sake – it’s not as funny as Anchorman and it’s not as heart warming as The 40 Year Old Virgin. If you’re waiting for it to live up to those films you’ll walk out deflated, but I’m willing to bet you’ll still laugh your ass off. Rating: 8 out of 10

Talladega is a lot of fun, completely worth your movie money, but not a classic.

DVD Worthy?:

Yep. If the last Ferrell/McKay (Anchorman) team-up is any indication this will replay flawlessly on DVD. All the jokes that seem excessive or like they missed the target will more than likely become quotable classic moments. I really enjoyed this movie but don’t hold in the same esteem as some of the other recent big comedy success stories. Still, the DVD will tell the full tale. This could blow up!

Trailer Hitch: The Grudge 2

The trailer for The Grudge 2 is a perfect example of what a movie trailer should not be. And judging from how much the trailer gives away, the movie is going to be a perfect example of what a movie should not be.

Its biggest flaw is that it’s too long. One scary kid after another crawling around a corner or sitting under a desk or popping up in the bathtub. It’s unnecessarily frustrating how they keep coming. Toss in the poor man’s modern mood setter (dead silence followed by the loudest screeching cat noise imaginable) and we’ve got ourselves one clenched eyed, ears plugged, peach of a crappy trailer.

I’d be ok with that though if it weren’t for the massive plot points revealed in this five-minute mini film. They tip off a couple of things that would have been nice surprises in the theater. But I suppose I’ll have to forgive them. After all they do manage to make one of the Grudges targets a pack of uniformed schoolgirls. Meow!

If You liked this movie check out: Anchorman: The Ledged of Ron Burgundy

Picking Anchorman is a little on the nose as a recommendation because it’s from nearly the exact same creative team, but the movie is too damn funny. And I think it works better than Talladega Nights does. Ron Burgundy is a much stronger character, he’s more quotable, he plays Jazz flute. Not that Ricky Bobby isn’t without his charms, but Anchorman is the comedy masterpiece that gave birth to Talladega Nights.

Non Movie Related News

Ok. Wedding – check. Honeymoon – check. Wizard World Chicago – check. Time for me to get back to work!

I want to thank all of you readers for your patience and understanding over this past month. There have been far fewer updates than I would have preferred and I lost some sleep over it, but you were all really cool about it. Distractions are few now so there should be a lot of content over the next few weeks. Plenty of current movies but even the stuff I’ve let slip through the cracks. It’s catch up time and I won’t let you down.

Wizard World Chicago this past weekend was such a blast. Having the opportunity to hang out with the rest of the pimps is something I try to make time for a lot, but our 13-hour drive from Delaware to Chicago is always the highlight hangout of the year. I feel like I do enough laughing in those four days to last me a full year. I’ve got a good crew.

In Chicago we were seated with Tom, Gordon, Zach, and Mitch Clem from TV’s JAG. We hang out and interact so much in the web comic community that I feel like I know them all really well, and it’s so weird because we only actually see each other in person once or twice a year. It’s bizarre though. We all have the same sense of humor and can develop a large amount of inside jokes in a dangerously short period of time. I’m really lucky to have been welcomed into their flock.

This was the first time meeting Gordon in person but he fit right in. It took no time before they were all ganging up on me for my crap taste in movies. But I refuse to be the scapegoat for Cars. I avoided that conversation like the plague.

More on the show and the wedding in the next update! In the meanwhile check out this JAM comic that Zach, Tom, Mitch, Gordon, Phil, Kevin, Irv and I all worked on. There’s like 5 of these we did at the show! I’ll reveal the rest very soon.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V

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