Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Watchmen Teaser Trailer
I am very excited about the Watchmen. Like many of you I’ve come to love and respect the source material and have natural fears about how it will be interpreted for the big screen. I felt good after seeing the initial round of footage. The look, the characters were all captured very well. But surface is the least of our worries with a book as complex as Watchmen. Thankfully the people in charge seem to have just as much love and respect for Alan Moore’s original creation as we do.
Today’s strip makes reference to the very first teaser that came out over the summer. The one that ran with The Dark Knight and did indeed feature a clip where a man’s gun was replaced with a walky talky. I actually did this comic back then but held off on posting it after I heard there was going to be some more Watchmen footage on hand at Comic Con a couple weeks later. Only that footage never found its way to the Internet and this comic got stuck in limbo.
On Tuesday night, at Spike TV’s Scream Awards 2008, Director Zack Snyder along with stars Jeffery Dean Morgan, Carla Gugino and Malin Akerman debuted some exclusive material from the film. As near as I can tell it’s the same stuff that was shown over the summer at Comic Con, but hey, it was new to me and clear as day on my TV screen so I had little to complain about.
The new footage is as inspiring, in a positive way, as the first teaser trailer was. Dr. Manhattan disassembling the tank and Rorschach leaping onto the windowsill were the strongest standouts to me, but there are dozens of great shots (some of them pretty spoiler-filled) to pick apart and fall in love with here. I encourage you to do so.
My biggest fear with the Watchmen film is not that it will be lumped in with all other spandex-clad comic book movies that came before it, but that it won’t be recognized for what it is. The story is original, a completely new take on the superhero genre. Scratch that. It WAS original. It WAS a completely new take on the superhero genre before hundreds of comics and movies lifted an idea here or an idea there and cannibalized a revolutionary piece of art for their “less than” adventures. The problem is this – those “less than” adventures have already hit the big screen. Will the average moviegoer walk of Watchmen saying that it ripped off this movie or that movie? That would be a true injustice.
I implore you to read the graphic novel that the film is based on. It’s old, the coloring is weird by today’s standards and some of those themes will feel very familiar… but it’s still one of the greatest works of our time.
There’s not much more I could say about the footage or the law suit battle for ownership or the importance of the source that you haven’t heard or repeated in your circle of fiends a dozen times by now. I just wanted to share my little comic and hopefully add to the snowballing wave of excitement that is building for this film.
The current Matriculated storyline features Rebecca on a seesaw. She’s there as part of a fundraiser for Breast Cancer Awareness. We’ve not really discussed this specifically in the strip but I’ve tried to toss in a pink ribbon or two to drop the hint.
The Seesaw-a-thon is something based on a real event that Phil remembers form his college. The Sororities and Fraternities would seesaw for days in order to help raise money and promote awareness for Breast Cancer during the month of October, which is of course Breast Cancer month.
Doing the new storyline based around this very serious setting, we got to talking and thought there might be a way where we could do our part. We’ve put up a special wallpaper, available in various sizes for the donation of ANY amount of money, and every cent of that will go directly to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. We’re realistic that this will only be a drop in the bucket of an ocean-sized problem, but every little bit counts and doing something is better than doing nothing at all.
We know that times are tight which is why we put no minimum on the donation, just give what you can, get a kick ass pick of Rebecca on a seesaw for your desktop and help some folks at the same time. We’ve done enough boob jokes around these parts that we should be doing all we can to make sure boobs across the world stay healthy and safe for a very long time.
We’ll be adding at least one more desktop before the event is over so be sure to check back before next week’s regularly scheduled update.
Thanks so much, guys. I’ll be back bright and early Friday morning with a review of Saw V.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V