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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Inception

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Dileep Rao, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, Marion Cotillard, Pete Postlethwaite, Michael Caine, Lukas Haas

Directed by: Christopher Nolan

Warner Brothers

The Official Site of Inception

Discuss Inception on the boards!

Anyone that tells you Inception is too difficult to understand just wasn’t watching it. Yeah it’s a pretty heady exploration that takes off without you and sort of demands you listen if you ever want to catch up, but for all the tweets, texts and face-bumps (or whatever) that just don’t get it I would say, “Put down your phone in the theater. Maybe take a piss during the previews. The movie was more expensive than the popcorn, it deserves a moment of your time.” Inception is complex on every level but its complete story is laid out cleanly and entertainingly. The answers are all on display they’re just asking us to do the unimaginable for a summer blockbuster: Pay attention.

Understanding it is one thing. Explaining it is a completely different monster. I mean, I could do it but what kind of review that would be? I could tell you about DiCaprio’s character Cobb, the weepy widower thief who steals ideas from dreams as opposed to cold, hard, conventional cash. I could tell you about his latest job to suggest an idea within a dream or about how he’s trapped the memory of his dead wife in the deepest, darkest corners of his own subconscious and how she’s kind of become a bitch buried down there and is a constant threat to the mission. I could tell you how cool Joseph Gordon-Levitt is stomping up walls and sneaking kisses in his sleep. See? I could do it? But why bother when the film does it so much better?

Long story short: the movie is great. Every plot point I produce will taint through expectation. Go experience it for yourself.

Inception is the kind of film that invites speculation even before people see it. In the film’s opening moments I was already anticipating that the whole thing was a dream within a dream. That Leo would wake up in bed next to Bob Newheart and we’d all have a good laugh waiting in line for our ticket refund on some bullshit plot device. Not to spoil the obvious but this also occurred to director Christopher Nolan and he pretty much shuts it down right away.

Rest assured that he’s exploring all aspects of dreams including dreams within dreams. He’s smart. Maybe not as smart as you but he’s had 6 years to think about this so he’s touched upon every speculation you’ll manage to come up with in the film’s 2+ hours. What’s nice is that he’s as good a filmmaker as he is smart. He explores dreams and these characters within them in a very sharp and sophisticated way. We’re talking about a plot where a van falling into a river is used like a stopwatch on a time bomb. Relax. He’s got it under control, people…

Early on I questioned the idea of exploring Cobb’s past. The meddling wife, the faceless children. I was far more interested in the worlds within the dream, though it did occur to me that if the characterization weren’t there I’d just complain about character incompleteness. As the film goes on it becomes clear how important this back-story is. It’s brilliant actually the way it affects the mission and how engrossed you become in Cobb’s personal journey inside his own head. It’s amazing how much exposition and flashback is jammed into the films big heist… If Nolan didn’t have the freedom to make the movie he wants the way he wants to make it then some studio head would have shut this down somewhere around the creaky elevator ride of memories past. (Seriously, just see the damn movie.)

If Inception really is a dream happening inside the dreams of any one character it’s got to be Tom Berenger’s. That’s the only place he could be cast in a Chris Nolan film. As always with his film’s Nolan has put his casting crew to work drawing in the best of the best. Even the least obvious of names on the list, Berenger, turns in a quality outing. He was like Mickey Rourke with a comb and a suit. Everyone is in fine form. It’s amazing the kind of intensity Leo can express spinning a top on a table or how Marion Cotillard can be both alluring and terrifying at the same time even when you know in the back of your head that at no point in the film does she ever exsist.

The real star of course is the story and it’s a good thing it is because there’s a lot of it to tell. It’s intricate enough that the films flaws, few as they are, are clear as day.

This first one is going to sound petty but - going snow was a mistake. In the film’s third act the dreamers enter a world of snow, which theoretically is fine. On paper, storming a snow fortress to retrieve information is all kinds of G.I. Joe awesome. But in reality, or as close to reality as a film about dreaming can get, there are some fundamental problems with it. Most notably is that everyone looks the same. Good guys, bad guys, all dressed in white. There are major action set pieces where it becomes difficult to tell who you want to be engulfed by a bright orange explosion. It’s one thing when you can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys but when you can’t even tell which good guy you’re looking at then something has gone horribly wrong. Of course I could probably take my own prescription to pay closer attention and work my way through it just fine.

But adding confusion where we should be able to enjoy the action effortlessly and focus on the climax coming to a boil is just frustrating. It’s hard to be mad at a film’s costume choice when they’re doing such brilliant things peripherally but the action was an issue all around in Inception. When things heat up clarity, at times, is lost. The shaky handheld is more Batman Begins than Dark Knight. I thought more than once that they were a firm grip away from a masterpiece. But that’s not quite true.

My last issue has more to do with my own expectations but I think it’s still a valid complaint. While they explore the ideas of dreaming they don’t spend enough time traversing the physics of sleep. Even with a pretty strict blackout policy in place with the marketing of the film it was impossible to avoid the primary elements being pushed: most notably dreams and the flexible physics within. How may of us were sold on this movie by the image of Joseph Gordon-Levitt wall walking up a hotel corridor or Ellen Page walking towards a cityscape craning over her head? These are magical, ticket selling visuals and I was under the impression Inception would be filled with this kind of exploration of how the mind can change the world around us while we’re asleep.

The anti-gravity showdown is still impressive as are the haunting images of JGL wiring up figures floating in air as if they were sunk in a swimming pool but it’s just not enough. What you’ve seen in the previews is the majority of what you’ll see in the film. What it comes down to is that Nolan chose story over style. It’s the right choice but is it the choice we were sold? How many of us were surprised when Inglorious Basterds wasn’t all about Brad Pitt? Same thing. Not a huge deal, especially when the finished product is pretty amazing but it’s still kind of an issue.

Just as you should be careful of those crying confusion you should be just as wary of those preaching perfection. Inception is a great film. Engaging, entertaining and well told in all the ways we dream movies to be but it is heavy and may not deliver all you’d expect. Though, in a summer of tired sequels and underwhelming adaptations it shines as a true work of thoughtful, intelligent originality. It’s the summer blockbuster that we could get every year. One that succeeds on ideas and not cars turning into robots.

Every year I reference some small little independent movie as the breath of fresh air in a crowded and over-produced summer at the movies but Nolan has shown us that the over-produced chaos can be pretty special itself. Who knows if it’ll catch on but I’m not holding my breath for next year.

Sure, Inception is DVD worthy but all Nolan’s movies are if only because they’re worth review. Even in something as narratively (That’s unfortunately not an actual word as much as I might like it to be) straight forward as The Dark Knight there’s going to be a dozen things you’ll pick up and enjoy on the 2nd, 3rd or 4th go around. With something like Inception that has a narrative and (twisty) ending that promotes discussion and debate, repeat viewings are a must.

Of course this is one of the first films of the year worth returning to the theater to see multiple times so folks might get burned out on it before it’s even available for home viewing. Still… it’ll probably hit around Christmas and since we’re at the store anyway buying all manner of ridiculous gifts for our nearest and dearest, we might as well snag a copy of one of the year’s best films.

I’m as obsessed with Nolan’s casting decisions as I am with anything else he does. Even way back in the review of Batman Begins I made a joke about how he’d have to sell his soul to put together a cast that good. The truth is though that talent will follow material. In some cases they’ll follow the chance to play Batman but I’d like to think that these actors are just as excited about working with Mr. Memento.

Now, in some cases this can come back to bite him in the bat suit. When you have a movie where everybody is somebody it can sometimes make it difficult to appreciate the character or get lost in the story. Case in point: The character of Eames played by Tom Hardy was electric in this film. Far more interesting then JGL, as much as I love him. Part of that had to do with the idea that we don’t know this guy. We have no expectations of him so when he does something awesome it’s REALLY awesome. When JGL does something awesome… he’s just being himself. And we love him for that but you see my point. Log story short, Nolan seems to prescribe to the idea of hiring the best people for the job and it’s worked out pretty well for him so far.

In regards to the idea that all the coolest actors on screen had to slum it on TV at one point or another – everyone has their own path. I certainly wouldn’t have expected something like Brick from Tommy the alien or even something like Fight Club from the surfing Pringles guy (soak it in) but we all find our cool in our own time and in our own way. I’m just grateful for what eventually developed.

I’m a big fan of tie-ins for major releases. It always seems like a great way to build on the brand. To explore more of the world without busying up the product of the film. There’s a nifty little prequel comic for inception on line. It shows us the story right before the opening dream sequence of the film and gives JGL a nice knock down action scene. Worth a quick read.

It feels great to do a wickedly long review like this. I’ve been doing 500 words reviews for newspapers for so long that I’d sort of trained myself to edit and condense. It’s nice to not be held back.

If you’re in the San Diego area this weekend and you actually planed weeks in advanced to get tickets for Comic Con, be sure to stop by booth M13 in the Small Pres area and say hello to my fellow pimps. I had to skip out this year (for reasons that should be obvious if we’re friends on Facebook) but I’ll be back in full force for the event next time around. For now, enjoy the new strip and be sure to listen to The Crappy Movies Podcast for updates on the other latest releases. Thanks for stopping by!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V