Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Viewed: 7:15 3/07/05
Starring: John Travolta Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, The Rock, Cedric the Entertainer, Andre 3000. Christina Milian
Directed by: F. Gary Gray
Not as campy as I would have predicted. In comparison to Get Shorty - more flash, less class. Get Shorty feels like a classic old film with credibility. This felt like a uber-produced Hollywood blockbuster. That's not always the best thing. Usually NOT, but man was this movie good. Just genuine fun. Nothing here is ground breaking or extraordinary, but it's genuinely fun.
Going in my greatest concern was Cedric the Entertainer. At times he can be one of the funniest guys out there. In recent years, however, he has done so much work so often that his act has become tired and played out. More often then not he's just a caricature of himself. Still a funny guy, but not as revolutionary as he used to be. He shows up to play though. He's a stereotypical gangster but he's never over the top. He never pushes to hard. There's even one scene in Harvey Keitel's office where he delivers a monologue as the camera pushes up towards him, traveling along an outstretched arm holding a gun. Thrilling. Chills. Nice work Mr. The Entertainer.
The movie is owned by the supporting players. Vaugh was SO over the top that it somehow worked. He embodied the truth of the character. A man trying to be cool. Trying to be the coolest guy in a movie called Be Cool is no small feat. And this character, in his attempts to act the coolest ends up being the least cool. Vaughn knew that and latched on to it. He nailed it.
The Rock was Hilarious. (Despite what the comic above would have you believe ? just for laughs folks!) A great departure from his normal roles, this is the best thing he could have done for his career. There are a few scenes where he steps forward and just steals the show. The movies worth watching for that alone.
I had expected Travolta to be ? Travolta. Nothing special, same old Travolta. But 30 seconds in to the movie you remember how cool he was as Chillie palmer. You remember how it was different, and unique, and cool. Travolta slips back in to the role and just oozes cool.
The movie looses points for Andre Benjamine as the gangster recording artist/bad ass sidekick. He never felt legitimate in the role. I just kept seeing Andre 3000. People will disagree with me on this one, but it didn't work. It took me out of the movie.
7 out of 10 The movie gets extra points because every woman that shows up on screen is a stone cold fox.
DVD worthy: Possibly. It was a great deal of fun to watch but I'm not going to hold my breath just yet. If there are a lot of extras or a two pack deal with Get Shorty then things look good. Otherwise? we'll
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V